It’s all up to me

As a teacher I truly love conference time but I also hate it b/c life is crazy for 2 days.  Here’s a recap of Wednesday/Thursday.

I was all psyched to have my pizza and then we ended up having turkey sandwiches.  Great, actually, b/c that is healthier.  Didn’t do too badly w/food the rest of the night.

Thursday morning we didn’t have to be at school until 9:30 so I was able to get up at a normal hour to workout.  I did a FIRM workout and as I was doing a lunge I noticed that my left knee was tender.  I didn’t hurt it, it just felt puffy, like there was fluid in there.  It happens every once in a while and as long as I baby it things go away in a couple of hours or the next day.  We are having a change in our weather (for the better, it was 75 yesterday ) so I think my knee has turned into a barometer.  Anyway, it was all downhill after the good workout.  I was very hungry all day, and I realize, too, that I was bored.  Plus, it’s TOM and I was off my regular schedule and everyone knows how much I crave my schedule.  So here’s the damage:

• one bag of trail mix for a snack
• Wendy’s buffalo chicken combo w/fries
• a bag of Reese’s Pieces
• a bag of dark chocolate M&M’s
• 2 little chocolate chip bars sold at the bake sale
• a foot-long subway club
• 3 subway pb cookies
• 1 Halloween size starburst pack
• 1 sf chocolate pudding w/whipped topping

YIKES!!!  So I have vowed to make today a perfect day.  We don’t have school so I will have to be very regimented about my eating.  My knee is still a bit sore but I know how to modify things so I can still workout.  After I have worked out I’ll post to update my goal and report on how I’m doing.

Progress toward workout goal:  87/250

I have stuck to my plan of making today a good day even though it’s going to be a long one. I got up at 4:10 and did a great TJ workout. I only have a few minutes to blog here b/c there’s a shower w/my name on it. Here’s the plan for today:

• Get up early and workout.
• Stay 100% on plan during the school day.
• Eat no more than 3 pieces of pizza for supper (at 2:30, how sad is that!!)
• If I need a snack later keep it to the bags of trail mix that I have packed.

Progress toward workout goal: 86/250

Today was tough but so far I have prevailed.  Starting tomorrow my life turns upside down w/conferences, yardwork, Halloween, birthday parties, etc.  I was looking forward to being really strict today b/c I know I won’t be perfect the rest of the week.  I walked into the office closest to my classroom and there they were…cookies!  Cookies are like kryptonite, I could eat a million and still want more.

At first I thought they were for a bake sale so I didn’t really get tempted.  The next time, though, I saw that the bag had been opened so they were for everyone.  My hand reached for the bag and then, like in the movies, I saw what this one cookie held for my future.  Tonight we’re doing some early trick-or-treating, and I know that I would go ahead and eat some candy since I had already “blown” the day by eating cookies.  Tomorrow-Sunday would basically turn into a free-for-all, and the last time that happened I gained 12 pounds in a week.  No thanks, the cookies aren’t worth it.

So when I went in there to get my lunch, I told myself that if I really wanted one after I had eaten that I could have one.  Thankfully, the craving disappeared and so did the cookies.  There are mostly men in my area of the building so baked goods don’t last for long.

So as I said, we have some trick-or-treating tonight at our local college.  There’s a group that does a lot for disabled kids and they invited us to come.  It’s nice b/c Kyle doesn’t generally get to go trick-or-treating…it’s too cold where we live to allow him outside by Halloween.  This will be indoors and he’ll be able to get all gussied up in his Superman costume and go around in his wheelchair.  And it’s nice b/c Justin will be able to go along.  For once, this is something that he gets to do because he has a disabled brother.  Generally he has to miss things b/c of our situation.

I just finished my Core Secrets DVD.  I wanted to workout but didn’t want to sweat a whole lot and this fit the bill.  Tomorrow I’ll be at school until 8pm b/c of conferences so I’m going to get up at 4:15 and TJ before school.  Our principal is ordering pizza for the hour break we have between the end of the school day and start of conferences and I decided that I’m going to eat the pizza, but if I workout before school I’ll be able to keep myself from eating an entire one by myself!!!

And today, for some reason, a bunch of people commented on how they can really tell that I have lost weight.  It’s always funny, when I wear something that I think might be too tight, that’s when I get the most compliments.  I’m just getting used to wearing clothes that fit instead of ones that are baggy and shapeless.

Progress toward workout goal:  85/250

This is going to have to be quick, my son and hubby are arguing over a snack.  Hubby’s hanging in there tough, saying it has to be healthy but of course my son wants the 1 cupcake that’s leftover from grandma’s.  Sigh, so do I 

Back on track today, like every Monday.  I didn’t sleep well last night so I’m tired.  But we have our nurse coming the next 2 nights so it should be better.  I got in a good hour on the treadclimber and then stopped to tan on the way home so I’m stinky and sweaty.

Hopefully I’ll be able to catch up on all of your weekend happenings later.

Progress toward workout goal:  84/250

I made it through the perfect week.  It wasn’t easy AT ALL.  In fact, last night around 7:30 I was ready to throw in the towel.  I know, completely stupid.  Here I had put in almost 6 perfect days and I was ready to give it up for a cupcake that my MIL had brought over.  I don’t even like cupcakes all that much but they were there. 

So when I woke up I was super excited to see what the scale said, hoping to break into the 230’s.  Nope, 240.0!!  That’s a 4.5 pound loss for the week and of course I’m excited, but I honestly was a bit bummed to not drop another 1/2 pound.  I crawled back into bed or another hour or two and then checked the scale again…239.5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   Hooray.  I double checked, just to make sure, and saw 238.5.  Who knows which was the most accurate, but I’m going w/239.5  That’s 50 pounds gone :)  I had my hubby take some progress pics and I can definitely see a difference.  To celebrate I bought the 30 day Shred by Jillian Michaels.  So many of you have talked about it that I wanted to give it a try.

My goal for this week is merely to stay in the 230’s.  We went to a Halloween party today so let’s just say it’s a good thing this party fell on a Sunday since I allow myself freedom on Sunday.  We have conferences on Wednesay and Thursday which means 13-hour days.  I’m going to get up before school on Wednesday and Thursday to workout but I know my diet will be not perfect.  I have picked up 2 small bags of trail mix to snack on for those 2 days, mostly dried fruit and nuts w/a bit of chocolate thrown in.  Each bag has about 400 calories, so if I snack on a bag a day that won’t be too bad.  I’ll make the best choices I can for lunch/supper.

Halloween I’m going to have to forbid any candy.  I can’t do the moderation thing.  So I’ll pull all of the Reeses PB Cups out of my son’s take and save them until Sunday.  I’ll have to have my hubby hide them, though.

And Saturday we now have my nieces b-day party at Chuck-E-Cheese.  I can use the excuse of chasing after my son to avoid the food.

…until I can call it a perfect week.  I was able to get through the PMS attack of last night and as of right now I’m feeling pretty good.  I know the rough time is going to be between now and supper time, but I WILL make it through.  It might not be pretty, but I will do it.  I don’t know if the scale is going to reward me w/a peek into the 230’s but if I don’t get there I truly know that it’s more due to hormonal fluctuations than my own behavior.  This morning it said 240.0, I’m soooooo close.

Got in a good workout (TJ Cardio party) as well as a “workout” for grown-ups so I’m in a great mood.  I realized how necessary it is for me to eat a bit before my workouts b/c it had been about 3 hours since I had eaten anything and I had trouble keeping up during the middle part of the workout.  I need to remember that the next time I think I’m doing something smart by cutting calories when in reality I’m cutting the fuel that keeps me going.

So the goal for today is to stay perfect for the next 8 hours or so.  By then it will be close enough to bedtime that I will be able to call it a perfect week.  Even though it was a struggle to stay perfect during this PMS week, I almost wonder if that should be my plan–going for a perfect week every 4 weeks.  I know if I hadn’t set this goal that I would have gone off-plan and downed some oreos.  I guess I have 4 more weeks to decide if I want to make this a permanent part of my plan.

Progress toward workout goal:  83/250

I’m reaching some clothing milestones and it’s pretty exciting.  On Fridays we’re supposed to wear our school colors or t-shirts/sweatshirts w/our logo so I wear jeans.  Just for kicks I pulled out the pair that I was into 3 years ago before I got pregnant w/my younger son.  They fit!  I still have 18 pounds to get back to the pre-pregnancy weight (and sadly that will only be down to 223) but I’m happy.  Plus, yesterday I had to pull out a winter coat (I have outside duty before school starts…nothing starts your day out better than trying to corral 200 7th graders) and I knew the one that I had worn for years would be WAY too big.  I grabbed the coat that I wore in high school and it fit!  I don’t know what it says about me that I hung onto a coat for 16 years that didn’t fit but I can say now that I’m glad I don’t have to buy a new coat for this winter.  Money is tight and I’d rather wait until next winter when I can buy a coat that I will wear for several years.  But I’m definitely excited.  I’m hoping that I have time this weekend to pull out the bins of my “skinny” clothes from a few years ago and see what fits now.  I also am going to get rid of my clothes that are too big.  The only reason I gained weight last time was b/c I got pregnant, and then after my son’s illness was diagnosed I tried to eat away the sadness and packed on 30 more pounds in about 4 months.  I’m not having any more babies and I’m finding healthier ways to deal with his illness so I know that I won’t gain the weight back.

I have about 30 hours until I have put in my perfect week.  I’m safely guessing that I can be in bed by 10:00 Saturday night and even though I sometimes eat in my dreams I don’t eat in my sleep.  Maybe I’ll have to wear my “new” jeans all weekend to remind myself that good things happen when I make healthy choices.

I got in 65 minutes on the treadclimber tonight for a total of 1200 calories burned.  I’m a bit bummed b/c they now have signs on them saying that during peak times people should only use the cardio machines for 30 minutes, but I honestly don’t know if I go during peak times.  There are 2 treadclimbers, so I figure as long as there’s one open I won’t worry about it.

Progress toward workout goal:  82/250

8:30  Ooh, I got too cocky and proud of myself.  I’m really struggling right now.  I go from craving colby jack cheese with Ritz crackers to wanting to down an entire package of double stuft oreos the next minute.  I just checked my mental calendar and realized that I’m PMSing big time so I guess it makes sense, but it doesn’t make it any easier to stick to my perfect week.  Thank goodness we don’t have anything even remotely like those foods in the house.  For right now I’m just going to focus on getting through tonight, if I worry about tomorrow I’ll give up and throw in the towel.

I was feeling brave this morning and snuck a peek at the scale.  I wasn’t sure what it was going to read b/c my “free” day on Sunday was a bit more out of control than usual so I figured I would be happy if I had lost any weight from Sunday morning.  I was not prepared at all for what I saw…240.5.  That’s a 4 pound loss since Sunday.  I’m not going to trust this reading b/c I know how fickle my body (and my scale) can be.  But it definitely is giving me the motivation to continue on my quest for a perfect week.  I’m not going to hold my breath but there is a tiny chance that I might see the 230’s by this weekend.  A reading of 239.0 would be 50 pounds off this bod.  Ooh, I’m excited!

Tonight after school was busy.  I raced home and did the TJ weights workout.  I wasn’t sure if I should do this b/c my legs were still sore from my FIRM DVD on Tuesday but I figured I would give it a try and if it was too painful I’d switch it to an all-arms workout.  But once I started doing the squats and lunges my muscles actually loosened up, right now they feel great.  What tomorrow might bring is anyone’s guess, but I’ll worry about that tomorrow.

Luckily my mom is coming tonight to get up w/Kyle if he wakes up.  Both my hubby and I have this awful cold and we’re totally worn down.  Thank God for Moms.

Progress toward workout goal:  81/250

Obviously by the title I’m in a bit of a mood.  What set me off, you ask?  I finally realized how stupid a few of the teachers are in my building.  I’m not doubting their intelligence, just their common sense.  We had a faculty meeting today and a directive by our principal that should have taken about 2 minutes to explain took 20 b/c of several ridiculous questions.  Quit wasting my time, people.  Ugh.

But the good news is that after a great workout (45 tough minutes on the treadclimber, 960 calories GONE) I feel much better.  Exercise is definitely great therapy. 

More good news is that I’m so glad I’m going for a perfect week.  An associate in my room brought some frosted sugar cookies for my son, exactly what I have been craving for a while now.  If I hadn’t set a goal of having a perfect week I’m guessing the tray of cookies would have magically transformed itself into a single cookie wraped in Saran Wrap.  I won’t say that I wasn’t tempted, but I can say that it was a bit easier to resist than it would have been otherwise.  Thanks, Patty, for the ”perfect week” idea.

I’m also nursing a cold and am at that point where I’m just sick enough to be miserable but not sick enough to feel like I should stay home.  The good news is the kids generally take pity on you when your voice is froggy so they have been on their best behavior lately.

Progress toward workout goal:  80/250 

I have been spending a lot of time today wondering what I’ll look like when I hit a few milestones.  I have never been thin, even in high school I was probably a 14/16.  It honestly never really bothered me, though, b/c I was always an athlete and my size didn’t interfere w/my ability to play.  I wish I could remember what I weighed back then so I could use it as a comparison.

If anyone out there is about 5′6″, fairly muscular and about 200 pounds, would you mind sharing w/me what size you are?  I generally carry my weight well, even right now at 245 I’m about an 18/20, and sometimes I see the infomercials and women will say that they are my weight and a size 26.  So I would hope that by the time I lose another 45 pounds that I would at least be down to a 14, but who knows????  And I honestly have no clue what my goal weight should be.  I have always been thinking 150 but when I check the BMI chart I see that this weight is at the very high range of normal.  To counteract this I have set a goal size of being a 6/8, but that’s too abstract for me.  I can visualize losing a certain number of pounds, but I can’t factor how long it will take to get to a certain size.  If anyone has advice I would definitely welcome it.

Today I came home after school to lift weights.  I’m so glad that I’m lifting weights at home now instead of the gym.  I did a 45 minute FIRM DVD and I can already see the muscle definition starting to come back into my biceps, no kidding!  That’s the beauty of weight lifting, it all comes back so quickly.

Progress toward workout goal:  79/250