It’s all up to me

I’m on my 2nd day in my quest for a perfect week and so far, so good.  I have decided to give up my morning pilates b/c the extra sleep truly is more important.  And I realized that the reason I was getting up 15 minutes early to exercise (to keep myself on track food-wise throughout the day) really wasn’t necessary.  During the school day is one time food isn’t an issue.  I’m like a robot, eating the same stuff.  Gee, maybe I should move into school.  Nope, not worth it.

After school I hit the gym and got in an hour on the treadclimber (1200 cals) and about 10 minutes of ab work.  My MIL offered to watch the kids so we could go out to supper but my smart hubby turned her down b/c I shared with him last night my desire to have a perfect weekend and he didn’t want me to be tempted.  Sometimes I love him so much, he’s a keeper.

Progress toward workout goal:  46/250

I am determined to make my below-250 goal by Sunday, so I’m going to steal an idea from Patty and go for a perfect week. I am going to stick to my eating plan and make sure that I get in at least 30 minutes of exercise every day this week. It’s going to be tougher than usual b/c we have a late meeting on Wednesday and my hubby and I are being interviewed for a Children’s Miracle Network telethon after school on Friday, but I will find ways to fit in exercise. I’m actually excited about the challenge, and it has been a while since I have been excited about dieting.

I’ll post more after I log my time at the gym. Toodles!

5:00

So far, so good.  I lifted weights for about 20 minutes then got in an hour on the treadclimber.  I have supper all figured out as well as my snack for the evening. 

Progress toward workout goal:  45/250

Today has been busy.  Since school has started I haven’t figured out how to balance working and taking care of the house so everything has been piling up.  Fortunately we have had a bit of time today to put things away, clean out some closets, etc.  It feels good to get things done.  Of course, I could call-in sick to work for a week and still not be done, but at least I have made some progress.

Speaking of progress, I’m down a pound for this week for a reading of 253.0.  Not great, but considering what a pig I was all week I’m ok w/it.  I still would like to be at 250 or lower for the family reunion next week so I’m going to have to bring my “A” game.  Exercise is generally never a problem, it’s being on track w/food.  It should help that tomorrow is the beginning of the work week, having Labor Day last week was like having an extra day to eat too much. 

For exercise today I mowed the lawn, which took about 35 minutes.  We have a lot of hills and I made an effort to move more quickly than I normally do which is why I’m going to count it as exercise.  I normally don’t consider this exercise b/c it’s just a household chore, but it allowed me to get moving for an extended period of time so I’m going to count it.

Progress toward workout goal:  44/250

Today has been awful, I can’t wait to crawl into bed and let it all be over.  It started at 3:15 when my younger son decided to get up.  We were at my mom and dad’s and I thought I might be able to get him back to bed fairly quickly but he didn’t go down until 7:30, 15 minutes AFTER my older son woke up.  Our older son and my hubby slept in the same room so my hubby didn’t sleep well.  Our son got to bed late last night so he was still tired, you can probably see the trouble brewing.  Justin, our oldest, could conservatively be described as stubborn.  He gets it from both sides so it’s no surprise that he’s that way.  Anyway, it was battle after battle, w/my mom commenting that she thinks we’re being too strict.  She at least has the common sense to say this when he’s out of the room, she’d never intervene in front of him.  But it’s laughable b/c she was definitely NOT a pushover mom.

Then one of my sisters called and long story short, her live-in boyfriend (who I knew nothing about) threatened to kill her and her kids.  She was taking care of finding a new place to stay for a while and then planned to go to the police dept. and file a report.  I figured for sure she would be able to get a restraining order and they said that she had to evict him first, which takes 30 days.  This is a sister that has always made poor choices w/just about everything so our family gets kind of tired of bailing her out of things, but I tried to be the voice of reason and remind people that even though she put up w/his verbal abuse for a while, at least she’s making the right choice NOW.   We can talk w/her later about picking better men but chewing her ass when she’s in fear for her life really isn’t all that smart.

Food wise-the weekend sucked.  But I guess I didn’t do as bad as I normally would have so I will call it an improvement.  I even chose a workout over a nap this morning b/c when I had the chance to lay down I knew I would have trouble getting to sleep, so I did my favorite TJ workout.  I still ate brownies and ice cream at my nephew’s birthday celebration, but at least I worked out beforehand.

Progress toward workout goal:  43/250

That’s how I’m going to have to take the weekend.  Tonight we’re going to a football game b/c my best friend from elementary/high school is being inducted to the athletic hall of fame.  Right now I’m wolfing down supper while I try to do about 1000 other things b/c we’re supposed to be on the road in 20 minutes.  I don’t know everything that is going to go on but I know I will face food challenges.  To try to counteract this I made sure I squeezed in 30 minutes on the treadclimber (550 cals) before I came home. 

We’re staying at my parents’ house so I brought a few DVD’s to workout to.  And then we should be home by suppertime tomorrow.  Send me strength, I’m going to need it.

Progress toward workout goal:  42/250

I got to the gym today and both treadclimbers were occupied.  Did these men (yes, there were men in the cardio section) not realize that I had a reservation at 3:00 for these beautiful machines????  I honestly panicked a little bit, and then realized that I could do something else.  So I hopped back on the stationary bike and pedaled my heart away until they finished, 4 miles and 16 minutes (and 179calories) later.  Then I was able to fit in 45 minutes on the treadclimber, burning 850 calories.  As I was finishing up, another guy hopped on the treadclimber next to me (yes, another guy in the cardio section) and I think he may have been hitting on me.  I’m still not used to that, but it’s nice to pretend even if he was just being friendly.

Right now I’m extremely proud of myself b/c I’m making good choices about food.  I always have a snack when I get home from the gym and today I was actually feeling lightheaded while working out, so much so that I cut my workout about 5 minutes short.  Anyway, I had a Fiber One bar and after that I was still hungry.  It was the “perfect storm” for binging b/c I was by myself.  I chose a low-fat cheese stick wrapped in turkey.  Yay, me! 

Progress toward workout goal:  41/250

I HATE CRICKETS!!!!  Bugs, spiders, snakes…whatever; they don’t bother me.  But crickets and grasshoppers gross me out.  Why am I writing about icky bugs, you ask?  Last night I slept in our guest room in the basement b/c I had to get up earlier than my hubby and I was awakened at 4:00 by a damn cricket.  It’s a good thing we don’t have cameras in our house b/c the sight of me chasing after a cricket w/my iron (the only thing I could find to smash it with) had to be a sight.  I never got back to bed.  I have been fighting a horrible headache all day, I would guess b/c of the lack of sleep.

Fortunately, though, the weather finally broke.  Yesterday it was 90 and muggy and today it may not have reached 70.  Thank God, I cannot imagine how bad my headache would have been if it had been as hot as yesterday.

Food was decent today and I had time to lift weights after school and put in an hour on the treadclimber.  From what I could calculate, I burned over 1300 calories!!  I ate more than I normally would for supper but felt ok about it b/c I had been so active.  Basically, I was craving a cheeseburger and we had leftover grilled burgers in the fridge so I had one.  But the key is, I had 1.  That’s a huge step for me.

Progress toward workout goal:  40/250

…you know the rest. Here we are, the 1st day after another weekend where I made poor choices. Too much food, too little exercise, eating for the sake of eating; the same old song and dance. Apparently I don’t want to be thin and healthy enough to make the right choices all of the time. I say I want it, but my actions speak to the contrary. Until I figure out how to make myself want it enough, I’m going to quit complaining about my choices. And if I’m being honest, it’s not 1 step forward and 2 steps back; it’s more like 2 steps forward and 1 step back. Looking at it that way, I’m still making progress, just not as quickly as I would like. Until I’m ready and willing to put in the effort I can’t expect to achieve fantastic results.

On a different note, thanks for the comments about the problem with my friend. I think I just needed validation that I had put in enough effort and that I had attoned for my “sins”. Now a new drama has entered my life, my SIL. This is the same SIL who used to avoid answering her phone on snow days so she didn’t have to watch our kids. Her divorce is finally settled and the plan was that they would pay us the $6K that they owe us out of that money, we found out last night that she has no intention of paying us. Of course we have no documentation of any of the money we lent them b/c she was my hubby’s sister who had always been upstanding and honest. We’re still making her car payment, for goodness sake! And we can’t stop making it b/c the loan is in our name, not hers. If I were her I don’t know how I would sleep at night, refusing to pay back money that I owed my brother and his family. We’ll make it through the money part, but I just feel awful for my hubby b/c one by one, the members of his family are turning into idiots and completely disappointing him.

Tonight I plan to hit the gym after school for an abbreviated workout, maybe 30 mins on the bike. We have open house tonight at school and I don’t want to get too sweaty. Maybe if I stink a little bit the parents won’t hang out and talk for too long!!!

6:20 pm

I’m at school now preparing for open house.  I do like meeting the parents but it makes for such a hectic evening, and then we’re back at it in the morning.

I went to the gym after school and ended up doing 30 minutes on the treadclimber.  I was so sweaty after school today that it wasn’t going to matter what type of workout I did.  And as we all know I’m addicted to the treadclimber.  550 calories, outta here!!

To answer a few questions from comments, we found out about my SIL not paying via my MIL.  She does get things confused sometimes so my hubby is going to talk to his sister.  He was dialing the phone as I left.  I’m hoping we got the wrong info, when I find out more I’ll let you all know.

Progress toward workout goal:  39-250

I’m not talking about diet/exercise, I’m referring to an ongoing conflict with a friend.  Just about this time last year I sent a nasty email to a friend of mine.  We had been friends since junior high and were roommates in college.  All 5 of us that were roommates have kept in touch and although we’re spread around our state we always made an effort to get together at least once a year, w/o hubbies and kids!!  Anyway, the reason I sent the email was b/c a week or 2 earlier was when my son had his big seizure and nearly died.  After that time this one friend (as well as my brother, but that’s a different story alltogether) failed to contact us, send a card, whatever.  It honestly didn’t bother me all that much b/c I know that often people don’t know how to react when kids and illness mix so I figured she just didn’t know what to say.  But then I noticed that my email inbox was being filled w/stupid political emails from her.  She and I are definitely on opposite ends of the political spectrum, so the emails annoyed me anyway.  But combing the ignorant messages w/the fact that she hadn’t taken the time to even mention the fact that our son had nearly died sent my blood to the boiling point.  The final straw was an email that arrived at a time where our son wasn’t sleeping and after a horrible day at school.  Basically I replied to her email that if she couldn’t take a minute or 2 to send an email acknowledging our son’s experience that she should not waste her time sending me stupid political emails.

A short time later I sent her another email apologizing for how I responded to her.  I still explained that I was hurt that she had essentially ignored our experience, but that I shouldn’t have been so harsh when I said it.  I told her that if she would rather talk about this than take care of it over email to let me know when a good time would be to talk and I would give her a call.  We have been friends for over 20 years and I didn’t want to lose her friendship.

Fast forward a year and I still haven’t heard anything.  We did get the generic Christmas photo but that’s it.  I sent her another card for her birthday in August and have yet to hear anything.  At this point I’m just about to the point where I’m done putting forth any more effort.  I mean, I don’t want to lose this friendship, but if 1 argument in 23 years can end our friendship then I don’t have enough time to maintain it.  A mutual friend knows the story and she thinks that our friend is completely being a drama queen and that I had every right to react the way I did AND I apologized for losing my temper.  I don’t even know why I’m writing about this, maybe I just want to know why she’s still so pissed.  Oh well, this may be one of the many mysteries in life.