It’s all up to me

I’m still floating around in limbo.  I know what I need to do, I know what I WANT to do but I’m just not choosing to do it.  I have been doing some thinking and realized that I love to make plans.  I like to make workout charts, goal sheets for weight loss, anything with a graph or a calendar.  But when it actually comes to setting the plan in motion, once the novelty wears off I decide that what I need is a new plan.

I am trying to keep all of this in perspective.  This week hasn’t been good food-wise and exercise-wise.  But that hasn’t undone all of the hard work I have done so far.  Yesterday I had some time so I pulled out clothes that I had packed away and found a bunch of pants that were size 20 that now fit and I even got into a pair of size 18’s!  They must run big because there are some size 22 that I still can’t get zipped but I’m getting there.  These size 18 pants were what I was wearing when I lost all of that weight 3 years ago.  Granted, they were quite big on me but I was also about 35 pounds lighter.  So maybe I’m carrying my actual weight differently now, who knows?  What I’m trying to say is that even though I’m having trouble getting myself focused right now I’m still in a better place than I was 3 months ago. 

So I guess I need to make a new plan (LOL).  I was going to wait until I got the routine from my personal trainer but we still have 2 sessions so it could be a week or 2 until I get that from her.  Having something visual, like a calendar or check-off sheet, will help keep me motivated.  I was one of those annoying kids in school who always did what they were supposed to so having a specific task to accomplish might help me more than just telling myself that I need to workout.  So I’m going to enjoy today and eat what I want.  Fortunately we have a ton of fresh fruit (strawberries, pineapple, bananas) so I’m guessing I’ll eat a lot of that.