It’s all up to me

I have started my latest “new” approach to this dieting-thing.  I am going to primarily eat lo-carb but throw in fruits and yogurt.  Things started out well, even though I brought leftovers from our birthday party this weekend for the guys at school.  They ate yummy bbq pork and these awesome chocolate/butterscotch/vanilla chip bars while I ate my traditional salad.  Our schedule changed today which puts my prep period at the end of the day (I love it!!) but it threw off my snacking.  No problem, I adapted.  Then, I came home and started the first day of a fat-loss workout in this months issue of Prevention.  But I think I let myself get too hungry.  For supper I had a wonderful chicken breast as well as a tomato and some cucumbers.  But now I think I could gnaw off my fingers.  I know that I need to eat healthy foods to improve my life but I don’t want to eat healthy foods.  I want to eat the leftover birthday cake.  Why???  It really wasn’t even that good.  I did throw out the ice cream that was good and the extra bars are gone.  I was going to fix myself a cup of sugar-free flavored coffee to hit my sweet tooth but I didn’t trust myself to go into the fridge and not dig into the extra cake.  Instead, I brushed my teeth.

I think I’m just so overwhelmed with how far I have to go.  I could be off by a pound or two but I need to lose about 125 pounds.  Yes, I know I should break it down into smaller goals but I still know that it’s going to be a long haul.  Sounds like I have lost my mojo again.

But at least I’m still plugging away.  Instead of caving to the ok-tasting cake I’m writing here.  The workout is kind of concerning me because it’s actually a little less than I would normally do but the idea behind it is that if you vary your workouts and train in intervals that it’s more effective than hitting it hard-core all of the time.

Geez, my hubby is digging out the cake.  I just told him that if he’s going to eat it that he can’t bring it out here.  It’s his favorite kind of cake or I would just throw it out.

I hate it when things are this hard. 

 …I have such an awesome hubby.  He asked me what was wrong and I told him that I was debating with myself to avoid eating the cake.  He threw it out without me asking and didn’t seem upset about the idea.