Needing to belong
I think I finally figured it out. I overeat and make bad choices out of a need to belong. Today I was with a few other teachers and they began to eat the leftover cake from our contest yesterday. I resisted at first because I recognized that I wasn’t hungry. In all honesty, the cake didn’t even seem very appealing. But after being with them for a while I decided to have 1 piece and then 2. WHAT WAS I THINKING!!!! But as I went back to my classroom I finally realized that I didn’t want to be the only one who wasn’t eating. It’s not like the other teachers were even pressuring me into eating. I just think that if they see me not eating that they will assume it’s because I’m fat and I’m depriving myself. I’m sure that’s the fat point of view talking, because I would guess that someone who’s thin who sees someone not eating would just assume that they aren’t hungry.
Realizing I couldn’t undo what I had eaten I just focused on making good choices the rest of the day and I am happy to say that I have been successful. I almost scrapped my salad at lunch for the yummy popcorn chicken and mashed potatoes being served in the cafeteria (the old way of thinking that I had blown it already so I might as well eat). But then I recognized how stupid that was and ate my salad. After school I came directly home and did a FIRM DVD for 45 minutes so now I just need to focus on supper.