So… I was looking through forums and ran across a post from a woman who had a really unsupportive husband who was constantly putting her down because of her weight. I told her I had a similar story. I guess I’ll put it up here and use it as motivation for myself! Would love to know all of your stories too!
When I met my ex-husband I was 300 or so lbs. Didn’t look like I weighed that much though. We got serious in our relationship fairly quickly - he was going through a divorce and we ended up moving in together in three months.
I went into the relationship feeling sexy, secure about myself (for a larger woman) and desireable. In six months he had me feeling like I was hideous. He would always comment about sexy/beautiful women while we were watching television or talk about how “hawt” some woman was walking by. He was obsessed with women’s breasts - especially those women with large natural breasts and tiny tiny waists. He told me all his fantasies about being with a tiny gymnast type. He told me all about ex’s that he had been with - how they were all petite and beautiful and how he loved having sex with them. (He needed to watch porn DURING and BEFORE having sex with me most of the time and claimed this was normal!) I’d never been in a long term serious relationship before… I was 19 when I met him and didn’t know the difference.
He was constantly on me about losing weight. I really began trying… and lost about 20lbs. He said he couldn’t tell. I was really upset. I had been swimming in our public pool… (yes me in a bathing suit in public!) a hundred laps a day. It was exhausting. I felt good about myself, but he always found a way to bring me down.
I really really loved this man… and he was also very overweight - around 280lbs at 5′7″. I couldn’t understand how he was sooooo incredibly critical of me, when he supposedly loved me with all his heart.
Whenever I stood up for myself we would get in HUGE fights. One of the final straws for me was when he took me to Vegas on vacation and on our anniversary night, told me he wanted to take me out. He took me to a lovely dinner and a fabulous show… AND THEN… to a STRIPCLUB called Olympic Gardens. He’d actually taken me to strip clubs before and let me tell u… it was particularly awful (he knew I hated it). Most of those women weren’t hot enough for him either… lol. EXCEPT this night… there was one… and he told me he wanted to take her back into the VIP section! I know what goes on back there! It’s also SUPER EXPENSIVE! I was like… if you’re going back there I’m going too! I wanted to make sure nothing “happened”. This girl was all up on him and I felt sooo incredibly awful as this beautiful girl was grinding all over him. It was killing me inside. Afterward he had the gall to yell at me telling me I made the stripper uncomfortable. Wow. Wow. I should have left him right then and there. I will say that this turned into being a much bigger deal for me than all of the other stuff that had happened. Later on this was major motivation for me to leave. Sigh.
Long story short… I ended up staying with him for another 9 months… we had been engaged for two years at this point (together for 5 years) and about to get married in Hawaii… I thought maybe if I confronted him about his behavior he would change. He said he would TRY. I believed him… went on to marry him. Only to realize three months later that nothing had changed. He loved me but didn’t love my body and never would. I could probably get to my goal weight and he would want me to lose another fifty pounds. He also told me he would never love me like he loved his first wife. I met her and she was no catch. Lol. So that was also hurtful.
I left him. I found someone new… someone who LOVES me through and through. Someone who doesn’t care how much I weigh! Someone who understands me and laughs with me and doesn’t look at other women all the time! He is my BEST FRIEND and I thank God I found him. He weighs 128lbs and he is SOOOOO FRICKIN BEAUTIFUL inside and out! JACKPOT! Lol. You would think i would feel like a rhinocerous next to him… but honestly, he makes me feel beautiful, loved, and wanted.
To all the women out there with a guy that doesn’t appreciate and love you for who you are… get out. Don’t live like that. It will be the easiest “dead weight” you can get rid of! You never know what is waiting right around the corner!!! :hug:
Obviously there is a lot more to it. Many more ups and downs. Cheating etc… but that was the gist of our relationship problems in the past.
aNYway…
Posted on December 13th, 2009 by bridezilla
Filed under: General Posts | 4 Comments »
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