I CAN’T BELIEVE IT I DID IT!!!!!!! After never being a runner, I completed my first 5k and ran the entire time. My official time was 45:28, which is pretty long for just 3 miles, but I don’t care. Running a 5k has been my goal, and now I can check it off my list of things to do!!!
Well, tomorrow is the day I have been waiting for/avoiding for the last two years- the 5k. I am nervous as HELL, but I know I will do this. I have done it once, I can do it again. I am excited, I am a bundle of nerves, and I hope that doesn’t throw me off. I’ll let you know how it goes!
As the school year draws to a close, I find myself making excuses about my eating. Only three more weeks, I can pick up my healthy habits again once school is over. I find these last weeks so stressful and difficult, that healthy eating is a grand effort. I find myself slipping here and there, and eating things I wouldn’t normally eat. I also find I am more susceptible to saboteurs, even if they don’t mean to be doing so. Really, overall I do eat very healthfully, it really more my portions than anything else. My slips don’t help, but I am not sure that’s really what hurts me the most. It does make those sugar cravings come back though. Sigh. As always, it rages on.
Well, I am signed up to run a 5k next Saturday. I’ve been running casually for a while now, and I’ve really wanted to see if I could run a 5k. So today I used mapmyrun.com and found a 3 mile run, and gave it a shot. I was so afraid of failing but I did it!!!! I couldn’t believe I did it. By the end I was so mentally exhausted, more so than physically. It took everything I had in my brain to complete the run, but I did it. Now, next week shouldn’t be as daunting as it’s been. I’ve been building it up in my mind, and I’ve been so afraid of failing. Today proved to me that I can do this. It’s not going to be easy, but I’ll make it. And holy crap, it will be a MAJOR goal achieved for me. That will be pretty damn sweet.
So I have signed up to run my first ever 5K on May 31st. I have been unbelievably nervous about it, because I am afraid I will fail. In my mind, walking any part of it is failing. There is no changing my mind about this- to do that means you did not run the whole thing and that’s my goal. So, in preparation last week, I did my treadmill run, and miraculously made it 3.2 mi. I was THRILLED with myself. Now, I have to be able to do it outside, which is different, but I think I have it!
That singular experience got me thinking about inspiration. I have found myself on the treadmill giving my brain pep talks very often, and that if this one on the Biggest Loser can do it, or if that one did something else, then I can do it. I even think of my students when I run, telling myself that I don’t allow them to give up and I shouldn’t give up on myself. I need to give myself as much encouragement as I give them. And then it got me thinking about my progress thus far. I started this journey not being able to run for even two minutes, and here I am training for a 5K, which for me will be a sustained 45 mins. Wow. If that isn’t inspiration, I don’t know what is. We all need to find inspiration within ourselves, and stop looking to outside sources. No matter how wise outside inspiration seems, it is most effective from within.
I’m still here, just rounding myself up for round 1,453,302 of getting back on track. Sometimes I think falling off is a little good for you- it makes you realize how crappy bad food and no exercise makes you feel physically. Once I get back on track, I always have more energy, feel better, and also feel better about myself. So here I am once again, ready for battle. Bring it on!