A Life Less Overweight

The genius that I am, I have figured out an important key to the woman’s psyche. Almost every woman I know has a show obsession, even if they are not fashion conscious. Drum roll please….. women love shoes because…

they ALWAYS fit! No matter how fat your ass looks in those jeans, your feet look fabulous in those cute peeptoe pumps! You don’t have to worry about muffin top, you don’t have to think about your spare tire, and you know that 100% of the time, when you put them on, they will fit. You can look at them and be relieved that at least THEY look good, even when nothing else does. There are very few pieces of apparel that can do that for a woman. If we can’t have the magic pants that make us look like Gisele, we can at least have her shoes. Shoes are a leveling field. Heidi Klum’s feet don’t look any better in those fantastic burgundy stillettos than yours do. So stick that in her celery and make her eat it.

I am going to write a book called “Do These Shoes Make Me Look Fat? NO!!”. It will be in the humor section of your local Barnes and Noble. Keep an eye out for it…someday…