A Life Less Overweight

Cheap Psychotherapy

 

Feeling defeated

I do NOT feel good today about myself, going to the gym, any of it. I am so torn between actually wanting to go to the gym, but at the same time, really not wanting to go at all. I feel blah, and defeated, and fat, and totally like crying. I don’t usually feel this way, and this is unusual, which makes me feel even worse. It’s TOM so maybe that’s it? I don’t know I just feel blech.

I’ve made a decision to leave immediately at 4 tomorrow and go straight to the gym, change there, and get moving. I won’t feel better until I do. I know that will help this funk I’m in today.

Filed under : General
By bosoxfan
On February 26, 2008
At 7:09 pm
Comments : 2
 
 

There’s a reason he has a doctorate

So yesterday I had to go to the dr’s for an annoying cough- contrary to my mother’s belief, I am not actually dying, it’s just a cold. Anyway, we started chatting about exercise because I mentioned it gets worse with physical activity and he said that he has to tell so many people to exercise that it is just a waste of time. He gets frustrated about how few people that go through his practice actually exercise, or are even willing to try.

He’s a great doctor, and what I love most is that he doesn’t seem to be too concerned about my weight. For my height, I am overweight, but he doesn’t say anything about it because he knows that I run 3-4 times a week. He said his main concern is that people exercise because that is what keeps everything in working order.

So as we were chatting, I asked him if he had ever watched the biggest loser. He said he had and then said what I thought was so wise: “I think of weight management as a lifelong chronic issue that constantly needs to be kept in check with exercise. People with high blood pressure would never expect to take a medication once and be cured, so why should anyone  think that there is a quick cure-all for weight control?”

I think it’s so true and wise because I think we feel like we should be able to just diet, lose weight, and never worry about it again. I think that it’s important to come to terms with the fact that MOST people do in fact have to manage their weight in some way. There are very few people who are naturally thin, and even if they are, that doesn’t mean they are healthy. In my last post, I wrote about how I’ve fallen off the wagon and intend to do better. Seeing my doctor makes me realize that it is normal that this is all cyclical, and that we do better managing sometimes than we do at others.  I will NEVER be able to eat whatever I want, not exercise, and not gain weight. But, I guess I’m not supposed to- that’s normal. And for feeling so abnormal for so long, normal is a very good thing.

Filed under : General
By bosoxfan
On February 20, 2008
At 12:46 pm
Comments : 6
 
 

Starting over…again

Sigh. Well, I’ve eaten my last piece of cookie dough from the ice cream tub. I’m done. Tomorrow I am back on the wagon and better than ever. I think part of my problem is that there is always an opportunity to indulge. I think I keep waiting for the perfect time to roll around when there will be no temptations in sight. I need to get over that is never going to happen, there will always be temptations around, and I need to find a way to rise above it. So tomorrow we are back on plan, and back to the gym and getting rid of these 5 pounds plus some. It’s time and I’m literally fed up.

Filed under : General
By bosoxfan
On February 18, 2008
At 12:15 am
Comments : 4
 
 

Save me from myself

Ok, I guess there are some women out there who do have trouble finding shoes. There goes that theory…

So I have been in an eating vortex of hell. I have been eating pretty much everything I see with no regard to portions or calories, and completely disregarding all of my SBD ways. On top of that, I bruised my ankle so badly I can’t put on sneakers because they squeeze the bruised spot so badly it really hurts to walk. I have totally hated myself this week, and over the last two, have gained 5 pounds.

This week is my school vacation, so I am going to try to refocus myself, pull it back together, wrap my ankle, and get my fat self to the gym. My belly has definitely filled back in a little. That needs to end. I just don’t know where I lost myself and my good habits. I am so afraid I’m going to gain it all back.

On biggest loser the other night, they talked about how people who don’t deal with the underlying issues of why they overeat will gain the weight back. I know I’ve got a few minor issues, but nothing I can identify as “causing me to eat”. I just like to eat, unfortunately. I don’t think I have a reason. At least not one that I can think of.

Filed under : General
By bosoxfan
On February 16, 2008
At 11:22 am
Comments : 3
 
 

I know what girls like…I know what girls want

The genius that I am, I have figured out an important key to the woman’s psyche. Almost every woman I know has a show obsession, even if they are not fashion conscious. Drum roll please….. women love shoes because…

they ALWAYS fit! No matter how fat your ass looks in those jeans, your feet look fabulous in those cute peeptoe pumps! You don’t have to worry about muffin top, you don’t have to think about your spare tire, and you know that 100% of the time, when you put them on, they will fit. You can look at them and be relieved that at least THEY look good, even when nothing else does. There are very few pieces of apparel that can do that for a woman. If we can’t have the magic pants that make us look like Gisele, we can at least have her shoes. Shoes are a leveling field. Heidi Klum’s feet don’t look any better in those fantastic burgundy stillettos than yours do. So stick that in her celery and make her eat it.

I am going to write a book called “Do These Shoes Make Me Look Fat? NO!!”. It will be in the humor section of your local Barnes and Noble. Keep an eye out for it…someday…shoes

Filed under : General
By bosoxfan
On February 13, 2008
At 2:15 pm
Comments : 5
 
 

Ugh

Feeling tired and rundown. Three more days to February vacation and counting…

Filed under : General
By bosoxfan
On February 12, 2008
At 7:12 pm
Comments :1
 
 

A sign

On the way home today, I encountered two things that reminded me there is pleasure in simplicity. The first was these two adorable boys standing at the beginning of their street doing the “honking” sign- you know, when you pump your arm up and down to make a driver beep? So, in the spirit of youth, I beeped and they cheered. How such a simple act can bring a kid joy brings you back to reality.

The second thing I saw was a deer. It was trying to cross the road, and it got spooked because another car flew by. I don’t think that driver even saw it on the side of the road- they didn’t even brake. I slowed down and let it go and watched as she gracefully leaped over the road and into the woods, and was gone as quickly as she appeared. It made me realize that there is so much natural beauty in our own backyards if we just slow down to let it reveal itself. Also, it further amplified for me a feeling I often have. I don’t want to be one of those people who just blows through life on a constant “ludicrous speed” setting. I am as busy as anyone, but if we don’t slow down every once in a while, we might just smack head on into something we didn’t see.

Filed under : General
By bosoxfan
On February 4, 2008
At 8:03 pm
Comments : 6
 
 

Friday Night

Didn’t drink last night….we’re on a roll! I’ve joined a couple of online friendship groups that meetup, so I’m hoping that will help with the finding some friends thing. I’ll be fine, I just needed to get it all off my chest.

Filed under : General
By bosoxfan
On February 2, 2008
At 11:37 am
Comments : 0