Positive Reinforcement
It’s funny how because you see yourself everyday, you can’t look at yourself objectively. I know that I’ve lost weight because the scale and my clothes tell me so. And I do see subtle differences here and there, in my belly mostly, but I’m still surprised how losing only about 10 pounds has prompted so many positive comments from others. One mom at school I haven’t seen in about a year or so saw me for the first time last week. She was shocked and told me I looked fabulous, and that I must have lost 20 pounds! I thanked her and was gracious, but my first thought was “shit, was I that fat??” Another parent of a student from 3 years ago saw me tonight and told me I looked great, too. I’ve always been wary of telling people that lose weight how good they look, because I know how sensitive I am, and how I always used to get embarrassed when people told me I looked like I lost weight. I felt as though they were insinuating that I didn’t look good before. But suddenly I don’t feel that way, perhaps because I know how much it took to get here, and how I hope to keep going. I also think part of my hesitancy to make comments stemmed from my insecurity- if someone else has lost weight, it means I am now fatter than they are. And another woman’s success is my failure, or at least that is how I used to see it.
Since I’ve lost a little, I not only feel better, but I feel like I dress better too. I only just bought a few new things, but I wear them more confidently. And I feel like that makes a difference. It’s amazing how losing a few has changed my perspective on myself, and on others. I guess all the fat was clogging my brain!