I like food
It’s been a crazy week already and it’s only Weds. There has been absolutely something every night this week and will continue into the weekend. I have realized that to some degree I am a stress eater. I didn’t think I was, but I am. But big deal that I know that, because even as I am thinking “I only want to eat because I’m stressed” I am gulping down something else. I weighed in on Monday to find I gained back 4-5 lbs of what I lost. I’m hoping it’s water weight, but that is still way too much for me to be comfortable with. Things still fit loosely, but it was a wake up call. I’ve been cheating a lot and I should have known it was going to catch up with me. No, I did know, but the pizza tasted too damn good to say no. So I am battling back, once again. I am so disappointed and frustrated with myself. I knew that things would be a lot harder when school started. But I feel like my “bad” times are the weekend. This wasn’t an issue during the summer, why is it now? Probably because I feel like I “deserve” it after a long week at school. I have to change this mindset. J. loves going out to eat (so do I) on Friday nights, and it certainly is nice to not have to cook. But my mindful eating goes by the wayside, and no matter how healthy a dish I choose I a) over eat it and b) can only imagine what it’s cooked with and in that makes it a lot less healthy than it appears to be. I don’t want to stop eating out, but I need to make some changes that can result in my being happy with my progress and enjoying life in moderation. I’ve been to the gym once already this week, and hopefully I can get in one tomorrow after the dentist, and then one this weekend if not two. This is the ONLY thing that keeps me from falling totally off the wagon and sometimes I feel like the gym motivation is teetering too. I keep telling myself my motivation is to lose enough before we want to get pregnant, and that isn’t too far away. The time’s a-ticking and if I am not careful, I will explode.