A Few Fears
So I keep seeing the commercials for back to school crap. I don’t know if they still show it, but the one I thought was the funniest was for staples. It showed a dad taking his shopping cart joyfully through the store with kids dragging behind, and “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year” was playing in the background! So funny. I am sure that’s how so many parents feel. I don’t have kids of my own, but I am a teacher, and I can imagine having kids hanging around all summer whining about how bored they are, especially come August, can be wearing on Mom. But, summer vacation is so necessary for all parties involved. Kids, they are toast come end of May (and we don’t end till June), the parents have had enough of homework and projects and get cranky at the end of the year, and I am frothing at the mouth to have an extended period of child-free time. Usually, when August comes around I mentally start preparing for school, but I am so not ready to go back this year!! I have loved all this free time to myself. I’ve got a few more weeks for my mindset to change, maybe it’s just late this year!
Which brings me to my fears. This summer has been a time of reflection and lots of mental changes when it comes to food and exercise. I am worried when school starts again after Labor Day that things will go by the wayside. I am not worried about food so much, I always bring my lunch and never indulge in anything I don’t bring with me. I am worried about exercise though. This summer I have been going around 4:40-5pm ish to the gym, to try and get me on a time slot for the school year. In the past, I’ve found 20,000 excuses not to go, and sometimes not even excuses, but I just have to stay at school late and by the time I get home, it’s too late to go to the gym. I REALLY don’t want that to happen this year. I am going to have to schedule my time very strictly, and only stay late on certain days. Teaching is one of those jobs that if you let it, it can consume your whole life. Go in early, stay late, bring home papers to correct, and work on them all night and all weekend. I have to make the decision to be stubborn about when I am willing to work and put in extra time, and what time is my own. I LOVE my job so much, I love the kids, and I am good at it, but damn it is exhausting. I have to stay committed. Committed to the kids and to doing a good job, but also committed to myself. I am not my job. I need to remember that, and I need parents to remember that by my drawing the boundaries of what I am willing to do.
Maybe it’s because of these fears I am not itching to go back yet.