A Life Less Overweight

…there are a few things that I find humorous, gross, or annoying:

1) The gyno machine. You know the one I mean. The person who invented that, definitely a man.

2) Creepy guys who like to watch girls DO the gyno machine. Buddy, if you want to see what’s up my pants, you’re gonna have to buy me dinner first.

3) Stinky people. I know you’re sweating, but can’t you smell nice while you do it? Or at least just step back 10 feet. Thanks.

4) People who do weird stretches from the Jane Fonda videos a la 1977. Stop bouncing.

5) Ass sweat. Not claiming I don’t get it, but at least you can’t SEE mine.

6) People who air guitar/air drum to their iPods while they walk. Just because we can’t hear your music doesn’t mean we can’t see you- you aren’t invisible.

7) Watching the older guys (55+) who never learned how to check a girl out without moving their heads. They look like they are at a tennis game while they use the elliptical.

8. The faces I make when I am lifting free weights.

9) People who go to the desk, grab the remote, and change the channel near your treadmill. No, don’t worry, I wasn’t watching to see what happens next to the cancer-surviving woman on Oprah who just had a million dollar makeover and they are about to reveal her to her family whom she hasn’t seen in six years and give her an Extreme Home Makeover House with Brad Patt (from Ocean’s 11 not any other movie) waiting there with an engagement ring…the NBA draft is far more enthralling.

10) People who come to the gym with their kids in tote to leave them in the babysitting center…all the while carrying bags of McDonald’s for their kids’ dinners. HELLO!??!!!