Journal for change.

Wow.  It’s already day 4, huh?  That’s pretty neat! Just a quick overview today.

-Neglected to train in the morning, we instead chose to run this evening.  It was interesting.  I don’t think I know which I prefer (morning vs. evening).  I think we’ll take a rest tomorrow and then start back up on Saturday.

-Breakfast - same as usual - all bran and lowfat milk

-Lunch - same again - Salad with homemade dressing (did I mention that stuff is amazing!), and potato leek soup

Dinner - leftover casserole from last night and a piece of bread
I know I should be watching my carbs, but right now, I’m more focused on cutting out many of the processed “staples” in our diet, so that we rely on fresh fruits, veggies and meats rather than canned oversalted, overprocessed “food”.  It’s quite time consuming, but I really do enjoy all the cooking.

Now I’m off to quilt up a storm!  I’m working on an awesome Dresden plate quilt with 1930’s reproduction fabrics!

Also - binge free again today!!!!  Wooot! (Although I have to admit, it was more difficult today than the past two days.  The only thing that’s been different in my daily routine is that the past two days I jogged/walked in the morning, and today I didn’t.  I wonder if the jog/walk helped my body to stave off later “binge” cravings?  Anyone got any ideas about that?)

<3 Emily

Welp.  It’s day 3 of my new committment to change!!!  This morning, hubby and I, again, woke up at 6 and proceeded to follow Workout Plan # 1, Week 1 for the Couch to 5K program - which alternates walking and jogging for 25 minutes or so.  I made it the whole 25 minutes this time!  We didn’t even have to change routes!  I passed my house without even thinking about it.  I’m pretty sore around my hips, but I’m sure that’s because that is where I carry all my weight.  :/  Anyways, hubby and I feel great this morning and are so excited about our future selves.

Also, I had another major success for myself last night.  I mentioned before that I have a problem with binging.  Especially chips.  Really…mostly chips.  Anyways, hubby wanted to go to a Mexican restaurant last night.  I told him yes, and mentally began to prepare myself for the onslaught.  A basket full of hot salty chips on the table?  I could inhale that whole thing at the drop of a hat.  However, last night, for the first time, ever I think, I limited myself to 5 chips.  Hubby let me have one more for good behavior, so there we have it.  Me…the one who can’t control herself around chips - whose mouth is watering at the very thought of them, had only SIX chips.  It was difficult, but I had water in front of me, and it helped that our food came pretty quickly.  I’m just so excited.  Binge free so far!!! My big idea for today is, It’s possible!!!!  Jogging is possible!!  Not eating the foods I crave is possible!!!  I can do this :)  I will do this!

Anyways, back to today’s plan.  Since I’ve got my jog/walk in for the day, I’m doing good on the exercise front.  I ate bran cereal with lowfat milk again this morning - and a big glass of water.  For lunch I have my awesome potato leek soup, and a salad with homemade dressing: olive oil, balsamic vinegar, salt, mustard, and garlic.  Hope it tastes okay.  Yesterday I had fat free Italian with my salad…and it wasn’t awful…it just wasn’t very pleasant.

See you tomorrow!

Emily <3

In the past, I have been too informal to follow through on any thoughts or ideas I might have had about losing weight.  I always knew I needed to, but I never took the jump.  My husband and I talked about it, but I never fully committed myself.  I always though “Well, I’ll start that tomorrow.”  But then tomorrow came and went, and I was more distracted than ever.  I promise to be focused on my well-being in regards to my weight and health, and to do my best to record my ups and downs here.   I don’t have much else to say right now.  I just want to get this thing going.

Yesterday was the day that I decided I was going to lose weight.  After eating almost an entire bag of chips in the course of one sitting (several days before), I realized I had a problem.  I have a close friend who had spoken to me of “binge” eating before, but I was sure I didn’t have the full fledged problem.  Now I admit.  I do.  I binge eat.  At least once a week, I submit to my cravings and just have at it.  I don’t have problems with sweet things, it’s more the high fat salty things.  Chips, nachos, pasta in a creamy cheesy sauce - anything that satisfies that salty creamy fatty craving that is making my mouth water right now. So once again, to restate, I do have a problem.

I’m tired of feeling tired because of my weight, and I’m tired of my clothes getting too tight.  I’m tired of seeing the symptoms of PCOS - which I know would probably be resolved if lost weight.  I’m tired of feeling at risk for heart problems and diabetes.  I want to have children, very soon.  And I want them to live in a healthy body.  And I want them to learn to take care of their bodies.

I will do this.  For me and my family.  I hope you all can help me through this.

Day 1 was yesterday, a formal commitment to myself to do this.  The next couple of days are going to consist of really planning out my “plan of attack” per say.   Today is the first day “in action” I guess.

Day 2 (October 27, 2009)

Weight: 253

Hubby and I woke up at 6:30 to jog/walk.  We are going to try to train using the Couch to 5 K Program online.  Today was to be “Workout 1″ in week one.  I think the total workout was supposed to last 25 minutes.  Ours lasted 15.  We live in a subdivision, and around the 15 minute mark, we were passing up our house.  I was tired.  And the mental image of plopping down on the couch wouldn’t leave my brain.  I think I could have kept going if we wouldn’t have passed the house.  Anyhow, I proceeded to whine until hubby was willing to stop, and thus ended the 15 minute jog/walk.  Perhaps we can plan a different route tomorrow…so that I will not be tempted with rest and a comfy couch - at least until I get a little stronger.

As far as food goes, I started off the day with a bowl of all bran and some lowfat milk.  Lunch will be potato and leek soup (yum!) and a salad.  Dinner will probably be a repeat except with fresh warm bread.  But no chips here (I’m debating banning these from my diet entirely - since I just can’t control myself around them).  Hopefully this will be day 2 of me being binge free!

-Emily