And so She Screams: Part Two

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Continued…..

I was reading this amazing blog: http://www.buildaltars.com/2011/04/18/ritual-morning-routine/

She has a 3 part plan that is just genius. One begins with morning routines, which in truth begins with a night routine of bedtimes. (hint it is almost 5am as I write this and I haven’t gone to bed yet….) I felt so much better when I went to sleep at a normal time, and around the same time every night & then woke up at around the same time everyday. I got things done. I was well rested. I read so many articles about health and how sleep is so important.

While I have always been a night owl, I actually love early mornings. The world just beginning to stir. Birds singing. The sun just rising and you can literally feel the warmth washing over you. It is so peaceful & feels just so magickal to me. I have this whimsical fanatasy of waking up early. First thing just running, doing yoga and meditating at my altar, doing a morning ritual/prayer, pulling a tarot card, drinking herbal tea, etc…

So I have decided to shamelessly copy her example to get me started!

STEP 1: Reality Check

Tell the truth about your situation.

My situation: Well my DH was working a night shift. This made it hard if I wanted to see him for more then 10 mins a day. We did this before… I was going to bed just as he came home or when he stayed late which is often the case being in bed before he even got home. Then as he stayed up late he would then sleep in late. Which also sucked for me because it was difficult getting anything done when he is asleep and I don’t want to wake him up.

One solution would be to just follow his same schedule- but it sucked. Because he wouldn’t go to sleep when he got home. He would stay up even later going to be in the early hours of the morning and then sleep until he had to get ready for work. I prefer to be up during the day. Idk but the morning I have always been able to get more done.

BUT…. his new schedule is a 5 day opener. So this gives me an awesome chance to get back on my old schedule. I will set a bedtime. It doesn’t have to be in stone but it needs to be prob within 30 mins of it.

Step 2: What do I need to do to feel good?
Pick three things you need to feel good about yourself.

1. Healthy body- All the good things that take care of my body. Exercising, eating correctly (paying attention to my bloodsugar), eating healthy, vitamins.

2. Spirit. Meditation every morning/night, lighting candles and praying. Just giving a moment to focus on my spirituality every day.

3. Mind. I want to journal every day. Even if it is just 5 mins to write a short note. I love to journal. It helps me work out so many of my crazy thoughts and see things from such a more rational perspective.

These 3 things are the core of me feeling better. They are my roots digging deep down into the Earth and establishing a strong foundation for me to grow.

Step 3: Create & Commit to a Routine

And so begins turning all of that into a routine she says.

Ofcourse this is the hard part lol. If I get up right after the DH leaves for work then I can drink some water, pray/meditate, pull a tarot card and only post it to my tarot journal (no details at first). Then do some quick stretching/exercise followed by more water & breakfast (oh and vitamins oops lol)

Then she goes on to part 2 the practical:

http://www.buildaltars.com/2011/05/24/ritual-morning-routine-part-2/

This is all good advice she lists here. Things I probably wouldn’t have completely thought about. Obviously setting a bedtime like I said before, but also planning ahead so that everything is ready in the morning. I have my tarot cards, candles ready. I know what I am eating for breakfast, what exercises to do, etc…

& things to stay on track- don’t give up if things are not working but instead make changes. & get a buddy- I do have great support and as I have been told need to communicate & share.

I will continue later with step 3- creating a mantra & a collage to help focus my intent!

I really encourage everyone to check out

http://www.buildaltars.com/2011/04/18/ritual-morning-routine/

it is awesome :)

And so She Screams: Part One

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I was thinking of a whisper. Small & subtle. Hinting at something larger perhaps but only alittle tickle in your ear. Is this the Goddesses energy? Something so easily ignored and forgotten?

Before I think I had imagined so. Not in quite so many words. Yet I knew that even though I knew of the Goddess, that I had faith and could reach out and speak to Her on my whim, that somehow she was only a whisper the rest of the time. Something in the back of my mind.

But it occurred to me today as I was thinking of whispers and such that I am very wrong.

No Her voice is not a whisper but a SCREAM!

She sings a song that fills the entire world. The birds singing cheerily within the trees. The thunder booming as Her lightning dances across the sky. my own heart beating. Everywhere I look, everything I hear is filled with Her voice.

So why the whisper feeling? The Goddess is not hiding in the shadows waiting for me. I am the one turning away. Blocking out the world and only focusing on my tragedy.

Basically I have been thinking alot about some things my sister said to me (aren’t sisters awesome?) it just seems that when I am in my worst place, feeling so low and hopeless I turn away from the world. Away from my family, away from things I love and care about. And even away from the Goddess. All the things that could make me feel better and yet I block them out. It is like I am in a dark hole hidden from the sun and choose to blow out my candle.

I have never lost the Goddess. She was still there, never leaving me. I just was attempting to block Her out as well so that She seemed only a whisper. I still pray everyday. I talk to Her. I listen to Her, well not apparently well enough huh?

But I have lost my practice. My altar sat collecting dust. Sabbats went by unnoticed. A part of yearned for it but I chose to ignore it still.

But no more!

I can’t keep sitting by and waiting for the stars to align. Waiting for everything to be perfect and for me to be ecstatically completely happy- that day will never come. I love the quote- It is the journey not the destination. And it is so true. Things will come together by actions.

~ I also realized that when I was doing really well & was so much happier it was when I had a routine, a daily ritual truly. I need a structure. I need to build up some foundation, sink my roots in deeply and give myself that healthy room to grow from that place. It is the entire root of my problems, not feeling confident, safe, trusting of myself, in control. Instead I feel dizzy, disoriented, overwhelmed, balancing on one foot as the ground beneath me shakes & crumbles!

To be continued…..