Oh look a collar bone!

Posted by blasphemie on February 15th, 2011 |Filed Under General |

This is gonna be a positive post for once. I swear people who read my blog often might think I am bipolar with my mood swings lol

I am actually just in a great mood today. Sun is shining, birds are singing kindof day :) So I thought I would channel that energy and focus my thoughts and blog some.

It is funny how things can go just awful and yet somehow lead things to be better. I am just getting over a very nasty stomach flu and while it was truly horrid it also has managed to reach out and catch me just as i was losing my way and brought me right back to my path with new insight and opened eyes I guess.

For starters not being able to keep anything down left me with a hefty weight loss this week. Which I do not consider a good thing or actually “counting” because I would rather lose it the right way and if I had any choice in the matter I would would never go through that in the first place even if it meant losing all the weight in the world lol!!!

But on the flip side the loss took me to my goal of losing my first 20lbs. Now I am actually not counting it because I KNOW I will gain some of this weight back next week so it does not feel right to celebrate just yet. but seeing it right there in front of my face just feels amazing. It was like a little reminder of hello you can do this!

Secondly small changes are popping up that have me so excited in a way only my fellow weight loss sisters can possible understand….

I CAN FEEL MY COLLAR BONE!!!!

I remember the first time I was losing weight and I lost 20lbs all the amazing changes my body went through. I lose weight first in my collar and shoulders and apparently I am sticking to that pattern again lol. It was funny because last time if you had looked at me in that area you would have thought I was tiny skinny but the rest of me was still big lol.

Now I haven’t lost enough yet for it to all pop out but I can feel it there! I can’t keep my hands off myself now! (not in a pervy way lol) I just keep running my hands over my collar & shoulders over and over because its so new!!!

It is really an amazing feeling! and then there is also the fact that my legs have gotten smaller and I can slip on/off my winter boots without zipping/unzipping them. And my jeans without unbuttoning them- actually my jeans barely stay up now lol.

My stomach is weirding out though into this misshapen mess. But idk if that is the weight loss or being sick and not eating did it or a mixture? We will see if it fixes out? And I am not really sure how to describe a misshapen belly lol. I tried to tell my husband and he gave me the strangest look and was like what do you mean misshapen? lol

if you don’t know me, well I gain like all my weight in my stomach. So I have a big stomach :( Well right now the sides are like sunken in some which idk if it looks any different or not but it feels totally different (more of me running my hands all over the new stuff lol)

So anyways along with all of those changes I have also gained some perspective I guess. Things don’t need to be so complicated. I think I need a giant poster saying that because truly it might be my biggest issue. It doesn’t need to be all or nothing. Every little oops is not the end of the world. I don’t need to rack my brain with self doubt on every tiny step I make wondering if I am doing it right or wrong.

I saw on the forums I visit someone posted a link to meal plans-
http://diabeticgourmet.com/Food_and_Dining/Meal_Planning/ Scroll down to the left hand side. It shows full menus. It gives me some good ideas. I think I am going to just keep things simple for a while like that.

Anyways I still feel a bit sick. My appetite is not fully back yet and my body is still sore and weak and yucky lol. Hopefully I feel all back to normal by friday which is when me and the DH are celebrating our valentines day.


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