Bleh this has been so tough & scary

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Sigh… Monday was tough day for me. I had a week off of work which always throws ya off then went back this monday. I wasn’t feeling too good and when I got home my blood sugar was 69. I ate lunch right away and then ended up talking to my sis half the day because she was going through some stuff.

That night was the first day of the Diabetic Support group at the hospital. I was so insanely nervous but I went and DH even came with me aww. There were quite a few people there though by far I was the youngest. It kindof made me feel weirder like I stood out. But it was a nice group. They had a quest speaker that went over basic diabetes info and people asked questions. The guest speaker was amazing and really put things in a great way that really helped me understand stuff. I will go back next month. Hopefully learn some more stuff and mostly it is really nice to see that I am not alone and that other people are doing this too, it is a part of my life now and I can do it.

But the bad thing from the night was I needed to go shopping as well. So right after the meeting I went to the store and I think my BS was getting a bit low then too. I did bring some dry cereal in my purse to munch on and it probably helped.

The next day just got so much worse. I went to work and I started feeling a bit off at first. Alittle light headed and dizzy. I thought I might just feignt. I guessed my BS was low but since I was about to go home I just sucked it up and told myself no worries almost home. How dumb of me. When I got home I tested my BS and it was only 58. By this time I was shaking and it was so difficult to even test because my hand was hard to keep still!! It was so scary.

DH gave me some pepsi and I ate the fiberone bar I had. 15 mins later it was up to 88. I need to be able to handle this and not feel weird about doing something about it when I feel it is low. I am glad I realized what it was but that doesnt help me if I don’t then act on it.

I also was freaking out because I didn’t track my food mon/tues and felt like I stuffed myself and went off plan :( But today I went and tracked it all the best I could remember and it seems fine lol. How silly. I need to not worry unless I know and then even 1-2 days with alittle bit of a slip IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD!!!! lol

Praying i lose this last pound so I will be down a total of 5lbs by Friday. May the Gods bless me lol!

Rough days & recovery

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So I haven’t been writing as much as I wanted to lately. Things feel kindof crazy lately. I had a really rough day the other day. I started to worry which turned to panic and then I just kindof started to feel lost, scared and fall apart. But I didn;t fall off plan or let it keep me down! YAY!

i just wasn’t sure if everything I was doing was right or correct enough I guess. I was a bit low on calories and it all is just so so much work. But after getting some advice on forums I felt tons better.

One, I have to remember to stay positive. Focus on everything I am doing right. I have lowered my blood sugar. I am taking this all serious, reading stuff and staying on plan. I want to be healthier and am making changes to be!

Secondly, I need to remind myself that this is a journey. Changes don’t just happen overnight and that it takes time for everything to become routine and it will be easier.

Yesterday was a horrid day. I woke up and felt kindof yuck. My lovely cat thinks he is a rabbit and got in the trash (again) and pulled out some lettuce & spinach. Yeah idk… He dragged the spinach into the bedroom chewing on it! Sigh. Then I went to pick up my kitten and he got spooked and freaked out scratching the crap out of my wrist. I was bleeding and it looked nasty :( But the day finally turned around. I went and did some exercise and it felt amazing!

I love working out. I love the feeling and how it just makes you feel. I started using my ipod while I work out and it really gets me going! I made a new playlist:

Just like a pill- pink (this one is such a great way to start. not too fast of a beat but i love it when the lyrics talk about running lol it gets me in the mood)
I kissed a girl- Katy Perry (this song gets my whole body loose and moving around)
Say it right- Nelly Furtado
Bitch- Meredith Brooks (I love this song but might move it because it doesn’t seem to fit with the routine too well.)
Push- Matchbox twenty (awesome song it is awesome to speed up and sign that i wanna push you around hell yeah!)
Fighter- Christina Aguilera (this is the best workout song ever!! i really push myself here)
I also have jezebel- chely wright, the reason- hoobastank, dont stand so close to me- police, black horse & the cherry tree- kt tunstall, how far we’ve come- matchbox twenty, move along- all american rejects, viva la vida- coldplay, apologize- timbaland, don’t cha- pussycat dolls, man i feel like a woman- shania twain, lovely- no doubt, the way you make me feel- michael jackson

I am feeling in a good mood today. I have the diabetic support group tomorrow night. I am nervous but hoping it goes smoothly and i dont chicken out.

Low Blood Sugars

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I am doing great! I am staying on plan really well and feeling so good about it all. I am making good choices for the most part. I kindof went off track alittle bit here and there like eating a couple cheese sticks or more then a serving of nuts but I am getting better.

I have tons more energy. I am getting my house cleaned up, taking care of everything way more then before it is great.

The last few days though I have been feeling alittle bit sicker though. Alittle headache and a bit light headed. I think it is just because my blood sugar is getting even lower and it is taking my body time to adjust to all this changes.

The other day my blood sugar actually got too low 63. I was alittle bit scared. That isn’t that low but it was the first time it had ever gone below the 80s even lol. I was just up doing a bit of housework alittle out of breath but not bad. I just gotta be more careful.

Lately it has been hanging around the 70s,80s, & 90s. Pretty nice. I go to the doctors the beginning of march so not too long of a wait idk if my stuff will get adjusted. I also have an appointment with the eye doctor tomorrow bleh it sucks.

My Little Pony!

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Yuck I am so tired today :( I kindof stayed up alittle bit later then normal and then my sweet amazing DH woke me up at midnight to tell me Happy Valentines day! Aww :) He gave me a rose and a my little pony! Yes I am an insane adult lol. I always loved my little ponies growing up & I kept telling him how much I wanted to start buying them and told him he should get me one like every year for my birthday as a cute little tradition :)

Anyways besides that I am having a good day. My blood sugar was only 81 last night before dinner! and then 83 this morning. This is the lowest it has ever been. Before that the lowest was 93. I feel good and proud of myself that I am working hard at this and seeing change. Yesterday was my new official weigh in day and I am down to 208. I started this Feb 3 so in less then 2 weeks I am down 3 lbs. Woohoo.

Also big news! Today working out started feeling much much better and easier. I didn’t feel like I was going to die afterwards lol. It will get easier with time little baby steps :) yay!

Veggies

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I so need to eat more veggies :( That is my newest goal to add in veggies every single day. I will for sure eat broccoli probably everyday or almost everyday. I eat my spinach with my salad everyday already but that just isn’t enough. I want to have 3-4 servings day. I probably have maybe 2 (probably 1 1/2) now. Maybe I will get some V8 just to help for a bit too.

I want to try celery & PB everyone seems to love it so eh why not atleast try it lol.

I am having a pretty good day today. I made scrambled eggs all by myself yay lol. Small steps to learning to cook. I made an egg over easy the other day i think i like the scrambled eggs better. I still don’t have the courage to make a boiled egg. I just am so worried it wont be cooked all the way lol.

I also resisted temptation! A co-worker brought in cupcakes and I said no thanks. I didn’t even want one!

I have a week off of work starting tomorrow. I really hope not having to go to work won’t completely throw me off my schedule :(

Moderation is Key

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I am very proud of myself today. I feel good and positive and even confident and that in itself is something to be proud of lol!

I am exhausted right now & totally should go to bed but I promised myself I would blog more hopefully daily.

I think I am beginning to “learn” and understand food choices and meal planning. And that is probably a really huge step forward. Like things are beginning to click, make sense and come together. It feels like I keep having little revelations lol. Like I wanted to eat an apple & I kept having it as a snack and it was quite a bit of carbs but then it was like duh why don’t I just have a low carb meal and eat the apple with my meal.

I am not anywhere close to having a firm grasp on this yet but I am getting better. baby steps!!

I decided while I am gonna weigh myself probably daily I will make every friday like my weigh in day to try and keep track. Oh I also bought some new measuring cups to really help me figure out servings. It is amazing how much it helps!

On Another note, my blood sugar has been pretty good. So yay and I am getting alot more in the habit of the whole routine. Just gotta stick to it.

This weeks goal is - MODERATION! I have to stay on plan. Don’t overeat! Don’t just munch nonstop because you are bored or restless! Learn proper portions and stay within them.

Carbs (aka I cant eat anything anymore)

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Hello my name is Aimee and I am a carb addict. If only there was a 12 step program I could join lol.

If you asked me what my top 10 favorite foods that I couldn’t live without I am sure they would all involve pasta or bread… eh maybe even the top 20 foods lmao.

I love them all I could eat a huge portion of pasta with lots of yummy breadsticks, pizza, sandwhichs, mac & cheese my all time fav :(

So here I am now needing to go low carb and feeling like eh how in the world is a girl like me going to do this without losing her mind or falling off the wagon every chance she gets??

Ok so I switched all my yummy pasta and breads to 100% whole wheat. No problem, they taste about the same to me and still yummy. Infact I got this sliced bread that is like sweet honey or something flavored and it is so good. But even whole wheat I still can only eat alittle bit. Do you know what a serving size of pasta is!??!

idk I am trying though. Tracking my food here at sparkpeople is so much help. It really lets me see how things add up quick and I am finding it really helpful to plan my meals a whole week ahead. Though I really have to watch my snacking off the plan :(

I think I might cut out the morning cereal or find one that is alot less carbs (if I can) and then eat it only every other day or so or eat a small portion and other stuff too to fill me up. Other good options are eggs & then I can have some fruit too! maybe some cottage cheese and fruit, one slice of toast with PB yum.

For lunch I had been having a sandwhich but I might stop now. Maybe a salad with chicken and then like some fruit on the side. Maybe a roll or piece of bread too I am not sure.

Then for dinner I can eat like alittle bit of pasta, some chicken, or something like a little mini pizza with whole wheat pita for the crust and loaded with veggies. I am really gonna try to have half my plate veggies with dinner.

But now I am wondering if I should leave my heavier carb meal for lunch or for dinner hmm. I am gonna go find out which is best lol

On track

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Eh well I visited the doctor again today to see the results of my blood tests and everything.

My A1c test was 11% eek. They said it should have been 7% and because of it being so high they decided to put me on insulin :(

I also finally got ahold of the nutritionist. She was kindof rude on the phone. and told me she didn’t think my insurance would cover it and that it would cost $70. which is alot right now with all the doctor visits and I had to pay $63 for the insulin because the insurance didn’t cover that. sigh.

The doctor also told me I should be within 1600 calories and only get 200 grams of carbs a day. So that will help me alot to know.

 

Well I am feeling a bit better. Kindof getting a hang of everything. It is all so overwhelming but I am getting there. Now that I know how many calories and carbs I can have I started tracking them starting today. I am also gonna start walking with my walking video - Walk Slim fast & Firm 4 Really Big Miles by Leslie Sansone. I tried it once before and liked it. She leads it well and I only did the first mile but it was nice. I am gonna try to walk atleast 30 mins everyday for now and then move up to 60 mins.

My biggest problem is that I need more fruit for sure I think. I can get some veggies in with salads and for dinner but so far for fruits I am eating eh an apple. That really just isn’t enough. But one fruit is expensive and I can get like frozen fruit but I am so unsure what to do with it. I feel dumb lol