Back at the fight…
More on this later, maybe, but it hit me this morning that my life stretches out in alternating patterns of good living and bad living. I exercise, eat right, lose weight, get strong…& then I decide, “meh, not so much.”
For a while I rationalize what I’m doing: I’m a big, beautiful woman; I’m not going to be manipulated into spending every waking hour trying to meet this f’d up society’s image of beauty; I’ll get healthy again when work lightens up a bit. Then I realize that I can’t manipulate my fat butt into my “fat” jeans & I’m picking the closest spot in the parking lot to “save my energy,” as if I’m going to ever use that energy anywhere else. & then I go back to healthy eating & exercising.
So I’d like to break the pattern. But then I know that doing this is like quitting smoking (and I was stuck in a losing pattern with that for years): every day you just have to re-resolve, say “no” until “no” becomes automatic. Eventually, saying “yes” to exercise becomes automatic too…So I’m back in the fight.
& the scale seems to think this is working already. We’ll see where I am on Monday, but there’s been movement in the downward direction over the last couple of days & that’s enough to get me through today.
& I’m looking for motivation in other places as well. None of the shows I like were posted to hulu last night, so I pulled up a movie on Netflix, King Corn. It wasn’t bad, but maybe because we all know that corn is in everything we eat, the revelations were less than revealing. Still, I thought that movie might be a good way to get me thinking about what I put in my body again. I have Food, Inc. on order for when it’s released & maybe I’ll watch Supersize Me again. What am I missing for disgusting food documentaries that will have me running for the produce aisle?
Breakfast: 1/2 biscuit & 1/2 cup gravy (back to measuring)
Lunch: 1/2 container rachel’s cottage cheese & 3 rye crisp crackers
Dinner: marinated steak, broccoli, big salad, mixed veggies with whole grain rice
Maybe I should start watching my starches more closely. I’m trying to eliminate starch at dinner, but there it is in breakfast & lunch.
Exercise: parking in the farthest lot from my building today to make up for last night’s “rock star parking” at the grocery store (tsk, tsk); walk with hubby.
Food Inc is an amazing film. Highly recommend it. To me, it sounds like you haven’t gotten to the point where you respect your body, and your health, enough to make long-term, sustained choices. Sounds to me like you still knee-jerk react to situations and foods, instead of eating responsibly and maturely. Sounds to me like you haven’t the joy of discovering healthy foods that ARE delicious. It’s amazing what a few tweaks to a meal can do to make it healthy and help you lose weight. Really, it’s mind over matter. And caring enough about yourself to just do it. If an old broad like me can succeed, sure as heck you can too. Gotta have the faith in yourself, and the plan you choose to use!
Baby steps. Baby steps. LOTS OF BABY STEPS across the parking lot. Ha! I’m hilarious.
I don’t have a distance goal for the next two weeks. My goal is 20 minutes. 10 minutes out and 10 minutes back. That’s it. Seems so easily doable, doesn’t it?
My atrophied muscles are railing at me tonight.