So I’m here with hubby & the inlaws & I get a text from my nephew just telling me to call his house & ask about my uncle…and telling me not to let my mom & sister know he text’d me. This is the uncle I went to visit at the hospital while I was home last month. & yeah, he passed away today.
He was a great guy. My dad died when I was 9, so the men in my life who sortof showed me what fathers & men were all about were either my mom’s boyfriends (most were great guys who adored us, but still…) and my uncles. Of these, Bobby was my favorite. A house contractor, he was always dirty from a job, but he could walk into any fine dining restaurant in the northeast & the owners would welcome him & ask him to take a look at their wine cellars…he was really good at wine, really knew his stuff, was known as a great collector, & had an incredible collection that he’d open up whenever family was around.
I can still remember Easter dinner when I was in college. He served me a wine that was older than I was & asked me what I thought of it & It wasn’t a test or anything. He just wanted to know if I liked it. He just hoped I liked it. Yeah, he taught me that you could appreciate good wine without being some pretentious ass…you could just be this blue-collar all around good guy who understood a nice glass of wine when he tasted one.
When I bought my first rotten & rotted cottage on the cape, Bobby was the contractor who turned this shack into paradise: new floors, cathedral ceiling, enlarged kitchen, deck with a trap door (that you couldn’t tell was a trap) to the basement. He was amazing. I have all these great pictures of everyone in my family standing around in various stages of slacker-tude while Bobby’s in the background working away, raising beams, knocking out walls, measuring windows, fighting with the folks he hired for various jobs that the rest of us were too inept to handle.
Bobby didn’t teach me that men can laugh & laugh all the time, but he confirmed my belief that such happy men existed. & I miss him.
So hubby & I will be heading back to the cape on Wednesday for a wake on Thursday & funeral on Friday. Our inlaws will be happy to have the house to themselves for a few days & they’ve agreed to watch the dog. It’ll be a long & costly trip, but I really need to be there for my mom, my cousin, my sister (who will be a wreck) and myself. Was feeling sorry for myself earlier cause hubby was working on the diss while I was making calls & being sad. But I wasn’t being very reasonable: he has a lot to do for the diss & needs to finalize a lot of stuff since we’ll leave first thing (6am) Wednesday & he’ll need to have all of his ducks in a row to pull this off. He’s a great guy too & I’m damn glad he’s coming with me.