I guess I run now

Sounds like a recipe for disaster! No?

But a friend is having a so-called “seventeentho de mayo” party tonight (and yes, the name of the party is very tongue-in-cheek)…so, Mexican food, margaritas, late night fun. Fortunately she doesn’t live in walking distance, so drinking is out. I’m going to have a nice dinner before I leave, so no spicy food while I’m there. And the run in the morning gives me the excuse to bug out early without feeling too guilty.

Starting Monday I’m going to try to incorporate some pilates into my routine (which is pretty limited at the moment to walking & running). I’ve been avoiding it because it kicks my butt & I wanted to focus on running. I was afraid that doing both would make me give up both.

I wonder how many thoughts about working out I begin with the phrase “I was afraid” or “I am afraid”?

Hubby & I went for a walk along Lake Superior my last night up there. Out on our usual beach, but this walk was unusual in that we went all the way to the point (about a mile out) before I remembered that I never walk that far out cause it’s too hard in the sand, and what if I get out there & it’s too hard getting back? But this time I could’ve gone farther than the point & been perfectly happy the whole way out & back.

Not afraid. So very not afraid that it didn’t even occur to me to be afraid of the “hard work” of getting out to the point. In fact, it was just fun holding hubby’s hand and watching yet another spectacular Lake Superior sunset. This is the kind of change in my attitude & in my body that I need to remember when I step on the scale again! tiny2b is reflecting on a similar situation as she prepares to march in a parade that only last year she found to be a big, hot hassle.

Maybe that’s another reason this blogging thing feels like it’s working (in addition to all of your amazing support & insights & inspiration). The scale can measure weight loss, but I need a space where I can measure (and honor) the changes that are happening in me that the scale is too stupid and limited to measure for me.

Breakfast: Special K & blueberries

Lunch: big salad with a hard boiled egg

Snack: twelve pretzels, granola bar

Dinner: cup of skim milk, 3 oz salmon, asparagus dish, salad

Snack: a lovely Edmund Fitzgerald Porter, 10 tortilla chips & about 3 tbs guacamole.

Exercise: 50 minute slow walk around the dog park. 30 minute walk with the dog.

nah! I decided to wait until after the 5k to weigh in. I’m nervous as anything there won’t be any movement on the damn thing to begin with, so after yesterday’s road trip cornucopia of crappy food, I figured it was best not to risk it.

Hey, thanks for all the well-wishes about the race. Given my inability to run more than 11 minutes in a row, I don’t think I’m going to win but I know I’ll finish with this group behind me! & getupnow, since you asked, if I celebrate, I think it’ll be with a lovely barley wine (a type of beer) as that’s one of my all-time favorite styles.

Okay, yesterday’s food (let’s keep things honest, shall we?), I pretty much munched the whole way, so actual meals don’t work here after breakfast of kashi & blueberries. Then 2 Pb&J sandwiches (light bread & light on the peanut butter, but still about 600 calories total); McDonald’s cheese burger & small fry (350 calories ugh!), 4 ww toffee candies (200 calories), one 100 calorie granola bar, & a nice beer (200 calories) when I finally got home.

Exercise: not a lot…a 2-mile walk with the dog in the morning & a couple of short rest-stop walks along the way.

Today’s stats are worse, actually. The McD’s food gave me terrible indigestion & kept me up all night (I’ll have to remember that), so I slept late & one thing lead to another & I skipped meals! But I just wasn’t hungry all day.
Breakfast: coffee counts, I think

Lunch: 100-calorie granola bar

Snack: 5 pretzels dipped in hummus

Clearly I wasn’t hungry all day, so dinner came early (like 5:00!)

Dinner: salad, 3 oz salmon, asparagus side dish (see recipe below)

Exercise: 20 min walk with the dog. 2 mile walk with the dog. 1 mile medium speed on treadmill.

Okay, the asparagus side dish…this was my version of an awesome dish I had in Denver.

Ingredients (play around with these):
fresh asparagus
canned artichoke hearts
sundried tomatoes (in Denver it was dried cherries, but I had the tomatoes on hand)
almonds (could be toasted pine nuts would be better)
chopped garlic
2 tbs olive oil (that’s where the calories come in)
parmesean cheese (the hotel used feta, but I should think fresh mozz would be nice too).

Directions (more or less): Chop up asparagus into bite-sized pieces, coat with 1 tbs olive oil, S &P, and add garlic. Roast in oven until asparagus is nearly done. Chop artichoke hearts, sundried toms, and almonds. When asparagus has about 2 mins left, add these chopped ingredients, mix, and cook the whole dish another 2 mins. Remove from oven, toss in a bowl with remaining olive oil & parm cheese. Tastes great hot, room temp, or cold. It’s loverly!

Clearly keep me down!

So I took the dog out this morning & my first thought was, “gee, if that giant cloud moves along, it might warm up enough for my run.” So I farted around the house (only semi-literally, mind you) for as long as I possibly could, threw on my running clothes & thought, “I can do this.”

Half way to the car I turned around & went back inside for my winter hat & thought, “I can do this.” On the way to the Portage, the nice lady on the radio said it was 51 inland and 46 on the water (that’s about 8 celsius), and I thought, “I can do this.”

The sky was dark, the water was choppy and the color of coal, the wind was blowing, but still I thought, “I can do this.”

Well, let’s make this long story short at last…I was outside about 2 minutes before I thought, “yes, I really CAN do this, but I’m not gonna.” So I headed for the student rec & had a lovely run on the treadmill…5K in 46:34, average speed of 3.99 (damn! so close!). With luck I’ll get one more outside run in before Sunday, but I’m not ready to run in cold and wind quite yet.

Of course, when I emerged from the gym, the sun was likewise emerging from behind the giant cloud…so hopefully things will warm up enough this afternoon so I can work some on hubby’s garden before I leave.

Breakfast: kashi & blueberries

snack: ww toffee

lunch: lean pocket & 10 chips, handful of roasted soy beans.

snack: hard-boiled egg

dinner: salad, lean-cuisine bar-b-que chicken pizza, ww toffee

exercise: 3.33 miles on the treadmill in 50 mins. 1 hour walk with hubby & dog on beach, about 2 miles.

Not much going on today. It’s cold, dark, and promising to rain later. Was really easy to keep to my commitment to go easy until the race on Sunday & limit my walk to 2 miles today. The dog & I started out down by the water, but it was windy & cold & even with a polartec and hat, I was freezing, so we cut up through town & did some window shopping & once I finally warmed up, crossed back down to the trail. Too cold to fix the front garden, so it’s a laundry & writing day. Nope, not much going on at all.

Breakfast: kashi & blueberries

snack: one of those 100 calorie granola bars

lunch: big salad with a hard boiled egg on top

dinner: hamburger with onions, American cheese, & mayo on an English muffin (pretty greasy, but I ate it all anyway!), cooked spinach

snack: okay, 2 beers (second one was unnecessary & not great anyway) & 2 cookies (both were okay, but only okay, so why’d I eat them?)

exercise: 2 mile walk with the dog. 25 min walk with hubby & dog.

Back over to our friend’s house to play Whist & I need to start saying no to things like second beers when the only ones left are so-so. It’s raining now…hope it clears up for my run cause I don’t think I’m ready to run in the rain all joyous and mother-earth-child like m3at49 :). Oh well, if it rains I still have a couple of passes left for the student rec, so at least I’ll get my workout in.

Dog says “hi” to all ya’ll wonderful people in comments!

Night ya’ll!

No noise from the damn scale to contend with!

When I got back from Denver I was too afraid to step on the scale & record the weekend’s damage. Decided to skip weigh ins until I got back from the UP…which is starting to feel like a long time away from the scale. What if I’m gaining & I don’t know it? What if I’m losing & I blow it cause I don’t have that weekly encouragement? Okay, so I’ve only technically missed 2 weigh ins (before Denver & this past Friday), but it feels like a lifetime.

Okay, time to add in the food and exercise vitals:

Breakfast: kashi & 1/2 banana

Lunch: lean pocket & chips (real ones, the kind that helped me pack on the pounds, but only 10 of them)

Snack: 9 pretzels topped with seafood salad (gee, I’m hungry today); this delicious granola bar that’s only 100 calories &, not by accident, about the size of a pinky finger.

Dinner: cup of meatball soup, salad with grilled salmon & yummy thai dressing

Snack: WW toffee

Exercise: 4 mile walk/run

Really cold today, but the rain held off, so hubby & I took the dog for a nice long walk along the Portage in the morning…we’d intended to go only 4 miles, but ended up going an additional mile before the wind started up. Then read some blogs, a long nap in the afternoon, omelets for dinner & some grocery shopping, including ingredients for this yummy-sounding recipe getupnow posted for sundried tomato pesto that I can’t wait to try. Oh, and she’s started running now too!

This was pretty much an ideal day in my book.

Food was okay, but I seem to be hungrier on days after I run.

Breakfast: kashi, blueberries, 1/2 banana & 1/2 granola bar on the walk

Lunch: salad & about 2 cups of leftover chicken noodle casserole

Snack: a nap instead

Dinner: omelet (3-egg, but I gave 1/2 to hubby) with cheddar, bacon, & onion, and a salad.

Snack: f/f free chocolate pudding with lite cool whip.

Last night’s visit with friends turned into a marathon session of Whist, 3 beers (at least they were 12oz bottles rather than pints), and 2 measured cups of cheesy puffs (hey, at least the beer’s got some nutritional value). If you’re a beer drinker & can get your hands on a Colorado beer named Avery, let me recommend the ESB…it was awesome with full malty flavors that balanced nicely with the light hops (which is pretty much textbook ESB, but this is not a boring textbook beer!). Yummy!

Happy mothers day ya’ll!

that began with a lovely reminder from RubyJean to appreciate the moment.

Then I did my run down by the Portage. 4 miles, a distance I think I really like now. Did the 5K listening first to week 4 (until just after the last 5 minute run) and then switching it over to week 3 for the final mile. 3 miles in 47 mins, 4th mile I decided to slow down & enjoy the journey. Beautiful day, sunny, quiet, and a nice cool breeze off the water. And the trail was surprisingly empty for a Saturday. Ended up finishing the 4 miles in about 64 mins.

Came home & started cleaning out the front porch…no small job as all winter long it tends to become the resting place for all things that don’t already have a home or that are pretty winter-specific necessities. That includes about 4 large boxes hubby picked up at the in-laws over the winter break, snow shoes, rock salt, boots, wiper fluid, the wood trim from our living and dining rooms (we re-did the drywall last winter & haven’t had a chance to strip & stain the woodwork), all the lawn & deck furniture, pots with long-dead flowers, summer stuff like coolers and beach chair, and misc junk.

Took me the better part of the afternoon to get the place cleared out, furniture wiped down, floors swept, and rugs shook out, but I’m sitting on a freshly cleaned front porch as I write this & it’s perfect! I also managed to get the entry hall cleaned up (another no-man’s land for misc junk) and planted my herbs & geraniums. 3 basil bunches (we live on basil in the summer), 2 parsley, chives, sage, and rosemary. The thyme I planted in the rock wall last year survived the winter (hearty soul), and I’m just waiting to see what survived in the front garden…looks like most of the perennials made it anyway.

Did I mention the beer yet? On my trip to the nursery, I stopped to pick up a six pack…was looking for a nice porter, but got tempted away by an Avery E.S.B. I opened one up to keep me company while I planted my herb pots & I’m still working on it…getting up to a nice warm temp now, so the flavors are coming through nicely. We’re planning to go over to a friend’s house for drinks tonight, so I’ll show up with a 5-pack and one of my 22oz home brews to make an even 6.

I wanted to post pictures from our hike last night, but the camera isn’t cooperating. It was lovely & about halfway up, I was reminded of the old me. We go up to Hungarian Falls a few times each summer & usually I find something to complain about: the trail is strait up with no switchbacks & it’s not an easy trail for short legs…so usually I complain, huff & puff, etc. Anyway, about halfway up I realized how many times I’ve probably ruined this hike for my husband with all my complaining. He is a very patient man, obviously, to keep taking me along with him. Although…little secret here, I’m pretty sure I heard him breathing heavy at a point when I was just starting to hit my stride.

Food today was okay:
Breakfast: kashi, blueberries, & 1/2 banana
Lunch: 1/2 roll with seafood salad & lettuce, 10 pretzels
snack: um…beer & 8 pretzels topped with seafood salad
Dinner: I imagine it’ll be salad & leftover chicken noodle casserole
snack: I’m going with another beer.

Getting Some Direction
So far the only goal I’ve really set are the running tickers included in my C25K pages (35 miles on the treadmill in a month) and untimed goals like “lose 53 pds.” But the goal setters seem to really kick butt here at 3FC, so I’m going to give it a try.

First I have to find a replacement for the treadmill goal, which worked, but it also kept me inside & that’s no good now it’s summer & I’m trying to be one of those outside runner types like M3at49. So instead of miles on the tready, I’m going to do steps on the peddy. So I’m shooting for an overall average of 10,000 steps a day…some days will undoubtedly be less, but I’ll just have to make sure other days make up for that. So that’s 280,000 steps in 4 weeks. Wow! Does that sound like a lot to anyone else?

Next goal is weight related: lose 6 pds in that same four weeks. Why 6? Cause 5 seems too small & 7 (given my dismal weight loss of late) seems too big. 6 also puts me right at my nemesis weight of 166, the deal breaker weight, the weight that screams “None shall pass!”, the dreaded plateau weight. Man I hate 166! So 6 gets me there & the momentum from getting there in a month gets me past it. Right?

Next goal is to run the 5K, get a not-too-embarrassing time doing it, and sign up for another one right away so I have an incentive to keep running when that race is done.

About Comments
Ya’ll are awesome! Thank you for your comments…funny & helpful & always wise. Getupnow, of course, your comment truly did make me laugh out loud & as I lapped an old couple on the trail today (yay me!), I laughed again. And I’d love to find a running partner, soclose, but for now I’m just hoping my dog will get better at running next to, rather than in front of and all around, me. I was thinking about signing up for a running group at the Y, but I keep thinking I need to get faster & stronger before that happens. Maybe I’m not looking at it the right way, maybe being in the group makes me faster & stronger? Oh, and I’m not putting any comments about your nasty commenter on your blog cause I don’t want to give that person the satisfaction of seeing she/he caused problems, but I think you handled the situation really, really well…& it’s small consolation, but you’ve given your readers a really good model for how to handle this if it happens to them.

grabthebull asked if I run with music for motivation & I usually do. One difference has been that up until recently I was running with the crappy techno music that comes with the C25K podcasts & more recently I’ve been choosing my own music. But I think that’s actually distracting…the techno music is so bad, I think it puts me into a trance-like state, so I’m going to go back to it when I run tomorrow. & holy cow M3at49! I have the same fear when I’m on the treadmill…face rubbing against the tread for days & all! And last but not least, thanks for the encouragement kiki.

Food Stuff
Didn’t post yesterday’s food cause something told me today’s would be pretty dern similar. & I was right. So just ditto this meal plan for yesterday:

Breakfast: Kashi & blueberries

Lunch: big salad with imitation crabmeat salad (light on the mayo, heavy on the fresh herbs and lemon) on top

Snack: not so much, maybe 10 pretzels

Dinner: salad & about 2 cups of chicken noodle casserole

Snack: fat/sugar free choc pudding with lite cool whip

Exercise (today): 3-mile walk with the dog…this took us a little under 1 hour. I could’ve gone faster without the dog–one of those stop and sniff EVERYTHING along the way breeds–but he was pretty good company. Hubby and I took the dog for a hike up to the Hungarian Falls this evening (doesn’t get dark round these parts until about 9:30)…it’s a lot of climbing, so I’m guessing we didn’t do more than 2 miles in 55 mins. More on this trip tomorrow.

What if fear is?

So today was my first official outside run & being a reasonable person who’s never encountered a time when reality didn’t live up to her expectations, I knew it would be fabulous!

It wasn’t. Running on ground is hard. Keeping yourself motivated without that clock ticking away is hard. Figuring out how fast to run without the treadmill’s help is hard.

So I think I started out too fast & got winded & then started to wuss out. Knowing that the wussing was in the making, I decided to go 2 miles out, which would at least force me to do a 4-mile round-trip if I wanted to get back to my car. The first two miles were pretty lame with really short runs & really long walks. On the way back, I started having a conversation with myself that eventually lead me to set longer running goals and I think I found my stride. Did 4 miles of a walk/run in 62 minutes and change.

But running in this new environment also brought out all my crazy fears: what if I have a heart attack, what if I twist my ankle 2 miles out, what if I fall in a hole and break something, what if someone sees me running, what if this old lady who’s power walking laps me (& she did), what if I have to go to the bathroom, what if I just can’t go any further? Fear, fear, fear. I’ve moved the fat, gotten it more accustomed to the occasional jostling around, let it know its days are numbered, but I haven’t done a single thing about these fears.

Okay, that’s what I’m working on now, but I’m not sure how to begin. I know how to fix the running outside problem—I’m going back to week 5 of the C25K program & get myself in the habit of running longer distances on hard ground—but how do I fix the fear issues?

Okay, happier note now, I’ve been out of the loop for a few days, so it’s time to read some blogs!

Oh, this is just the story I need today! GetUpNow is living large on the playground, playing on the swings, running around like a kid, & loving the person she is now. But read below this post too…if you haven’t already…her lab work came back from the doctor, but I’ll let her tell you what happened there.

One Fit Chick has been keeping busy gardening, fixing her truck, and doing something called “periwinkling,” which apparently involves harvesting small snails at low tide. I’m not sure what the snails are used for, exactly, but if I had to guess, I’d say they’re delicious cooked in garlic and butter. Of course, I’d eat my own foot if it was cooked in garlic butter!

Okay, this is weird! I’m dealing with fear of exercise & Feathers is dealing with excuses for not exercising. She’s also got a link up to a site where you can create a “virtual you.” She’s done one of herself at her goal weight in a bathing suit…but it’s nice to do a before/after pairing too!

GrabTheBull turns 30 this weekend!

soclose is dealing with an independent-minded teenager, but these aren’t the teen problems I gave my mom!

Tiny2B has posted some pictures from her hike this past weekend.

Oh, and sign me up for This Study. I am a great lover of all things scientific after all!

Got into hubby’s place around 10:30 last night & it’s good to know I can settle in for a week or so before I have to take that miserable trip down state again.

An uneventful trip unless you count the McDonalds’ break…and I’ve decided I’m not counting it.

Got here to find a book I ordered waiting for me, something called The Learn Program for Weight Management. That’s what I need, I think, a way to manage my weight, to manage the hell out of it, to manage it right off my body, to manage it right out of my life. So I figure I’ll give it a try.

This trip is going to be about getting back to my writing, but also about cleaning & organizing things around here so hubby can finish his diss. First step is cleaning out the front garden & cleaning off the front porch. Then I want to get our herbs planted & fill in some of the perennials that didn’t survive the snowfall here (they get an average of 208 inches a year).

So I figure some writing, some gardening, & some treks on the beach & on the walking trails and ski trails. I also plan to hit the student rec center today…although today seems to be getting away from me.

So I think I’m going to treat this like a vacation, but like one of those spa vacations where you come home refreshed & weighing 10 pds lighter. Okay, 10 pds might be pushing it for 9 days, but I do hope to drop at least 2 while I’m here.

Breakfast: wheaties

Lunch: 1/2 tuna melt & 10 pretzels

Snack: none

Dinner: mini-pizza (ate at a friend’s house) that I loaded up with veggies, light sauce & light cheese. No salad, but at least I got to control the ingredients.

Snack: fat/sugar free pudding & light cool whip

Exercise: nope!

Summary: not great! Where are the veggies, the leafy greens? The tuna melt was a “this is what we have in the pantry” consolation, so I went light on the mayo, but still had a slice of American cheese on it. Pretty sure there’s not nutritional value in American cheese. The pizza thing…UGH! Barely any nutritional value in that one too! Tomorrow it’s Kashi with banana or blueberries, salad for lunch, and a low-fat chicken noodle casserole with salad for dinner. I think my afternoon snack will be an apple since it looks like hubby bought every fugi apple in the Midwest.