What if fat isn’t my problem?
What if fear is?
So today was my first official outside run & being a reasonable person who’s never encountered a time when reality didn’t live up to her expectations, I knew it would be fabulous!
It wasn’t. Running on ground is hard. Keeping yourself motivated without that clock ticking away is hard. Figuring out how fast to run without the treadmill’s help is hard.
So I think I started out too fast & got winded & then started to wuss out. Knowing that the wussing was in the making, I decided to go 2 miles out, which would at least force me to do a 4-mile round-trip if I wanted to get back to my car. The first two miles were pretty lame with really short runs & really long walks. On the way back, I started having a conversation with myself that eventually lead me to set longer running goals and I think I found my stride. Did 4 miles of a walk/run in 62 minutes and change.
But running in this new environment also brought out all my crazy fears: what if I have a heart attack, what if I twist my ankle 2 miles out, what if I fall in a hole and break something, what if someone sees me running, what if this old lady who’s power walking laps me (& she did), what if I have to go to the bathroom, what if I just can’t go any further? Fear, fear, fear. I’ve moved the fat, gotten it more accustomed to the occasional jostling around, let it know its days are numbered, but I haven’t done a single thing about these fears.
Okay, that’s what I’m working on now, but I’m not sure how to begin. I know how to fix the running outside problem—I’m going back to week 5 of the C25K program & get myself in the habit of running longer distances on hard ground—but how do I fix the fear issues?
Okay, happier note now, I’ve been out of the loop for a few days, so it’s time to read some blogs!
Oh, this is just the story I need today! GetUpNow is living large on the playground, playing on the swings, running around like a kid, & loving the person she is now. But read below this post too…if you haven’t already…her lab work came back from the doctor, but I’ll let her tell you what happened there.
One Fit Chick has been keeping busy gardening, fixing her truck, and doing something called “periwinkling,” which apparently involves harvesting small snails at low tide. I’m not sure what the snails are used for, exactly, but if I had to guess, I’d say they’re delicious cooked in garlic and butter. Of course, I’d eat my own foot if it was cooked in garlic butter!
Okay, this is weird! I’m dealing with fear of exercise & Feathers is dealing with excuses for not exercising. She’s also got a link up to a site where you can create a “virtual you.” She’s done one of herself at her goal weight in a bathing suit…but it’s nice to do a before/after pairing too!
GrabTheBull turns 30 this weekend!
soclose is dealing with an independent-minded teenager, but these aren’t the teen problems I gave my mom!
Tiny2B has posted some pictures from her hike this past weekend.
Oh, and sign me up for This Study. I am a great lover of all things scientific after all!
I have solved your problems: You fall down and break your ankle while trying to pee behind a tree, but fear not for Gray Granny Speedracer will come to your rescue when she laps you…again. Hee Hee.
Seriously, though. Look at you, pushing yourself like that! Way to go! Every time you venture out, it will get easier. Your mental images of all the bad things that could happen will eventually have to get smothered out by all the times you have gone and come back alive and well
LOL!
Thanks for condensing my various fears into one mack-daddy frightening image, getupnow.
But you’re right, the good will eventually smother out the fears.
Any chance of your finding a running partner? If you did 4mi. you are well over a 5K in distance–WTG!!! Really, it should get a little easier every time as the “new” environment becomes the norm.
awww… thanks for the birthday wishes! wink, wink.
CONGRATS on 4 miles in 62 minutes - AWESOME! are you running with an ipod? music motivates me.
-k
Ah Ha! So it’s not just me! Running ‘out there’ is a lot more difficult. I knew it…I just kneeeeeew it! Not a bad time at all on that 4 miles of finding your stride. Funny thing these fears we have. Never once have I worried about anything going wrong on my outdoor jaunts, but throw me on the ‘dreadmill’
and I think of things like “what if I pass out, get spit out the end and the belt grinds away at my face and nobody discovers me for hours”. Yet, ya don’t see me clamping on the emergency stop gadget cord thing. I don’t understand myself for the life of me sometimes! As for you, don’t worry, I’m inclined to agree with getupnow, Gray Granny will toss you over her shoulder and cart you off to safety! Go ahead and stuff some tissue down your bra…pee away my good woman, be at one with nature…okay now I’m getting silly, I’ll stop!
Before I go I have to ask, that conversation you had with yourself out there running, was it out loud?
Great job!! Keep at it!!