I guess I run now

I’ve been nervous about eating while visiting dear hubby. Over the last 5 years a number of things have contributed to my weight gain: the stress of grad school, writing the diss, the job search, the move, the new job; quitting smoking; and (sadly) my eating habits around my husband.

This is not my biggest problem…a sedentary life mostly writing & teaching and some really bad reward systems built around food and friendships with people who love eating and eating out as much as I do surely contributed, as did my slower metabolism made slower when I quit smoking. But at the same time, somewhere along the way, I must’ve somehow convinced myself that I could eat as much and as often and as poorly as a Man who is also 12 Years Younger than me and One Foot Taller. This is amazing, bizarre, terrifying: clearly the brain is a too powerful tool if I could delude myself into believing that I could eat as much as my husband whose metabolism is so very much faster than mine.

I’ve been aware of the problem for some time now, but there are still times when I will find myself matching him mouthful to mouthful. So now I’m trying to be careful & he’s been a big help, especially in supporting my new rules (his fridge was stuffed with good salad greens this trip). So let’s see how I’m doing.

Okay, so road trip food: cereal with blueberries, 2 PB & J, 3 100-calorie bags of chips, 1 100 calorie bag of pretzels, 3 WW candies (180 calories). Not great, but not bad until around 8 when I cruised into Marquette & was really feeling beat. So add a McDs cheeseburger & coffee to that. All-in-all a better road trip menu than I usually practice.

Yesterday: cereal with blueberries (the ones we picked and froze last summer…yummy!);
big salad with egg, bleu cheese, and pecans and 1/2 cup lima beans, carrots and about 5 olives;
dinner was Chinese food (UGH!) with friends, so
2 cups chicken with cashew nuts,
1 cup rice (white, ugh!),
two potstickers,
and 1/2 cup egg drop soup (dinner works out to about 990 calories, I think)
Took the leftovers home & made Jim eat them for lunch today so I wouldn’t be tempted
then dessert with the same friends…they all started with 1/2 grapefruit, so I joined them in that (yummy! must get some for my breakfasts & for late night snacks…very refreshing) & then they had brownies topped with chocolate carmel sauce and ice cream and I said “no thank you, I’m not hungry” cause I really wasn’t.

Today: cereal with blueberries;
big salad with egg, bleu cheese, and pecans and 1/2 cup lima beans, carrots and about 3 olives;
For dinner Jim made pork chops, & I gave him 1/2 of mine, so 4 oz pork chop broiled;
1/2 cup stuffing;
big salad with bleu cheese and pecans;
carrots and about 3 olives
coffee with a splash of Kahlua and cream.

Exercise: everyday so far, but I’m feeling beat down a bit trying to balance the exercise with the grading I’m supposed to be doing now & finishing up my article. The end of the semester just wears me right down & it really can’t come fast enough this time! But clearly I’d rather write here about my diet than finish grading or work on my own writing!