Had to work the door at a women’s studies film festival yesterday afternoon & while I made sure to eat both breakfast & lunch so I wouldn’t be hungry, I still munched. Damn it!
Had about 2 cups of chex mix…I actually made a conscious choice to both a). snack and b). ignore the healthy veggies that were also provided as snacks. Left after the first movie ended & the catering folks had already set up the next set of snacks, so of course, I had to have a lemon bar that was about 2 x 2 inches long. I don’t even want to think about how many empty calories I ate on a full stomac!
& of course, the sugar rush ended & I felt miserable & wanting more sugar. Not a good time to shop, but I had to get groceries in…tabouli, spinach, peas, frozen blueberries, olives, lettuce, non-everything pudding, & fish (2 more stuffed sole & a single coconut-crusted talipia…so the equivalent of 6 healthy entrees for the week). & at least I didn’t buy anything unhealthy as a reward for my unhealthy snacking!
& no exercise to speak of…I’d planned to take it easy yesterday anyway, but I barely got in 5,000 steps with only a walk around the dog park to show for myself.
So, yeah, I’m feeling a little guilt right now & I’m feeling a lot of guilt for feeling that guilt…make sense? I mean, I know that if I beat myself up everytime I falter, I’ll end up giving up the whole enterprise because I really prefer to feel good about myself. I don’t know if that makes any sense to anyone but me…why would you give up doing something that makes you healthier and stronger just cause on a few occasions you stumble & feel bad about stumbling? But I’ve given up trying to understand my own mind & am just happy now to know how it works.
Anyway, today is another day. Breakfast of cereal & blueberries; lunch will be a big salad; dinner of tabouli, spinach, and talipia; olives & pretzels as snacks; and I think I’ll forget making more chocolate pudding until tomorrow…it’s not a huge calorie savings, but it’ll make me feel better about the lemon bar.
& today is day 3 of week 3 of the couch to 5K program. I’m going to try to up my speed & even replace some of the final walking cool down with more running…next week’s is 5 minute runs & I want to be prepared to hit the ground running (so to speak) when I enter week 4.