I left the gym and then swung back to weigh myself on the fancy scale. After pulling off my boots, scarf, bag, coat and phone I stepped on, despite the looming high school kids talking about supplements to make your muscles feel better. “Half of the pain is mental though,” one said as I stepped on. I waited for the totals to balance. I felt like that moment on Biggest Loser where they cut to a bunch of faces gasping and a commercial. But there was no commercial…just the total and me gasping on my own.

The digital display read the exact same poundage TO THE OUNCE that I weighed last week. It teetered for a second to click down to the next 20th of a pound but held steady. It was exactly like the show, I stayed on the scale and gawked.

It was Christmas during this past week, which means I have basically been eating chocolates for breakfast and every night before drifting off. I guess my half-assed attempt at portion control hasn’t worked out…yet. I did have one moment of happiness though when I realized that I hadn’t actually gained weight. But, I wanted that pound. I NEEDED THAT POUND. Taking inspiration from my Biggest Loser compatriots I made the commitment before I left the parking lot to stick to the game plan. And, I even learned a lesson: the reason I have failed before was because I gave up. Not this time.

My plan for next week: Eat oatmeal instead of chocolate for breakfast and try (again) at portion control by keeping a food diary.

WEEK ONE POUNDS LOST TO DATE: 0 (and counting)