maintenance week 9: 60kg :-)

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In fact, my scales seemed indecisive whether they wanted to stop at 59.8kg, so let`s say I weigh 59.9kg, as my scales only does 200g-increments. I`ve cracked 60!!

A thought entered my mind while I was running last night: my body may not be done yet losing weight after all.

All the stuff I`ve eaten again since the New Year, and yet, I have not put it on. Which is lovely news as it means that I have not messed up my metabolism, which is what I wanted to find out.

But although I`m still eating a lot better than I did pre weight loss, I`m not feeling good eating this sort of things. It leads to me feeling fat and guilty, and I wonder whether my recent reluctance to excercise may have something to do with it, too?

I now want to make a conscious decision to go back to “diet” mode, if you want to call it that. This way of eating made me feel good, mentally and physically, it was easy and equally enjoyable.

Maybe, my body wants to lose some further weight. As I got used to my present figure and reassured that my metabolism still works well, I am indeed more amenable to losing another 5lb or so. Maybe, I`ll get down to 54 after all, even though I did not see the need when I arrived at my current weight. Summer is approaching!! So it`s back to the way I ate while losing (which I`m looking forward to!!!), excercising every 2-3rd day and seeing what happens. As far as my recording is concerned, I will use the headline “leg 2″ from now on, unless I find something better.

Feeling fat and pushing boundaries

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… has nothing to do with my size and weight. I always feel it depends more on the way I eat and excercise.

I felt fat the last few days because I have overdone it again on Monday (ice cream and cookie dough) and had not been running since Friday. In these moments, I go right back to where I was when I was 30lb heavier. I feel exactly the same, even though I wear smaller pants.

I berate myself for the pig out and see a danger that it may be becoming a habit again. When I do it I feel I can afford it because I`m slim and have been maintaining my weight. After I do it I feel I`ll pay the price, as I have a million times before. I`m certainly inviting the cravings back into my life. I so need to get back into the mindset of seeing other things as pleasant, and not these.

Same with excercise. I was running every 2nd or 3rd day but not now. I get complacent because I no longer need to lose weight, but if I haven`t been for a while, I start feeling flabby.

But with all the fat feeling, when I finally dared to step onto the scales this morning, they read 60.4kg. I took my measuring tape, anxious that I may have increased in size, and I have not.

I need to get back to where I was, with both the eating and the excercising. I have been maintainign for almost two months and maintained, which is good. No need to push the boundaries any further. And, as the sun shows a little bit more frequent, I now feel that it would be lovely to lose another 5lb before summer.:-)

Maintenance Week 8: 61.2kg

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Not a good week. 2 days ago, I weighed in at 62.4kg, and yesterday, I was 62.2kg.

I was upset but I know that I only had myself to blame. Apart from having my period I have continued to push boundaries in order to find out how far I could go with going back to my previous diet (of course, I have no desire to totally do so, but I`d like to know how much leeway there is before the holiday in April).

Anyway, it seems like I`ve now found my boundaries. Monday - Wednesday, I had a roll with peanut butter late morning, and although I did not want my lunch at 1pm, I had a small one and then another snack at 3pm. This probably was too much snacking, and I`ll no go back to just fruit and nuts between three hearty meals.

I did feel larger during the week (which may, in part, be due to my period), so I have come up with something else to inspire me:

  1. Hubby has bought me all this sexy underwear for Christmas, and although I wear it, on a day to day basis, I still wear the old stuff. I have decided to wear sexy underwear only and always when I am at my lowest weight of 60.6kg, which is a weight which I accept and have no desire to go under.
  2. My large jeans will have to go. I still wear many of them and it`s not good to me. There is a lot of space in them, and the subconscious message to my brain is that there is space for food in my belly. They have to go, even though they were new and expensive and blabla. I won`t put them away for good, but I can put them away with my winter clothes, in the loft.

Maintenance Week 7: 60.6kg

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Eating too much junk is definitely not good for me. Despite the scales telling me otherwise, I feel big, which once more proves that “feeling fat” is a state of mind rather than a state of body.

On the other hand, it still amazes me what I seem to be able to get away with w/a gaining weight. Without it, I might be a twiglet by now?

Maintenance week 6: 60.8kg

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:-)