my diet history - childhood

Posted by stellachiara on May 19th, 2009 |Filed Under Uncategorized |

I`ve been an average weight child, who was neither as skinny as my friend Jasmine nor as chubby as Pauline. Although I was aware that there were differences, it never was an issue for me or my friends.

I remember the first time I felt conscious about my weight.

We were already living in our new home, so I must have been at least 6. My dad commented about my sister`s rounded tummy. I felt terrible for her and, at the same time, was so glad that my own belly was flat. I thought to myself that I`d be determined to keep it that way so that I should never hear such an impolite, humiliating remark.

But genes were against me. All women in my mum`s family have a belly. (No, really. Even my 50kg-aunt did.) Soon, so did I. I was not aware of getting it, but one day, it was there. I never thought about it. The change went unnoticed, until, one day, I was playing with my dad, when he suddenly stopped and felt my belly. “What`s that?” he asked. “Is that a belly? Oh, it is, indeed!”

The humiliation… The despair… I had allowed it to happen after all. Then again, it was not important enough to do something about it. The comment hurt and must have affected me enough for me to remember it to the day. But it made no difference to my eating and moving habits.

***

In secondary school, we used to compare height and weight. Being tall and heavy was good. I envied Danielle who already weighed 50kg, aged 12 or so. Being tall and heavy meant growing up, and grown ups, we wanted to be. I celebrated every kg I gained although I was not trying.

I still cannot tell when it dawned to me that I had gained to much and had actually become chubby. While my height stagnated, my weight did not. Was it comparing unfavourably in looks and numbers, was it having to get larger clothes or has someone said something? I truely cannot remember, but by the time I was 13, I was and felt chubby. But still, I prefered crisps and sweets to doing something about it.


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