What can I do to motivate myself? Why can’t I fix the way I feel? Why do I have a complete obsession with food? I’m going out for a birthday tonight. To a pizza place. Great. Man, I’m so depressed.
What can I do to motivate myself? Why can’t I fix the way I feel? Why do I have a complete obsession with food? I’m going out for a birthday tonight. To a pizza place. Great. Man, I’m so depressed.
I disgust myself. I really do. My “challenge” lasted a grand total of one day. ONE DAY! At the moment I just want to ignore the weight loss forum, and ignore this blog. But I know that would be a big mistake. Even if while I’m off track I still post about it, then it’s like I’m not ignoring what I’m supposed to be doing. Or something.
I don’t know what it is that’s changed. I haven’t gained any weight back, which is a blessing. But at the same time, I’m wondering, if I were to put on a few pounds, maybe I would panic and start dieting properly again! Who knows. My plan for today is when I get hungry later (I haven’t eaten anything yet), I’ll have a bit of houmous, salad and some seeded wholemeal bagel, and I promised my boyfriend I’d make him fajitas tonight, so I’ll just have one open flat tortilla with some chicken veg and salad on it. Oh, who am I kidding? I’ll probably have a little bit of low fat creme fraiche and a sprinke of cheese too.
One of my friends I hadn’t seen for a while commented on my weight loss! It made me feel a bit uncomfortable, but pleased nonetheless! It’s good to hear it from someone else when you don’t feel any different yourself. After she said it I came home and searched for some old photos of me. In every single one that I found I looked miserable. My skin was all spotty (thanks, contraceptive implant) and I just looked like I wanted to cry. It made me sad, but also encouraged. It doesn’t need to be that way!!!! (woohoo!)
I’ve decided to set myself a challenge. The idea is taken from a thread posted recently on 3fatchicks. Basically I want to try and do some form of exercise every day. I’m going to try it for just a week to start with. If I can manage that I’ll be ecstatic! I haven’t been to the gym for yonks. Looking forward to getting back to it! Today I’m going to do my callanetics dvd. Just thinking about it makes me tired….
YAWN!
So I’ve already lost 38 pounds. Go me! I’m very proud, but after going on holiday this month I have strayed off track! I can still see the track, I’m just hiding in a bush beside it, eating truffles and scowling at it every so often…
I suppose, looking at it like a wee road isn’t such a bad idea. I mean, I could stay in this bush with all the food…but I wouldn’t get anywhere! In order to see what’s at the end of the road I need to get up off my bum and start walking. It will be difficult. I’ll be like a rambler pausing to pick berries every five minutes. Somewhere along the way I hope to stop wishing that at the end will be chocolate!
Anyway, hello everyone (i.e. nobody)!