This time it’s for real

*sigh*

Yesterday despite all that made a yummy dinner… I made whole grain pasta with alfredo sauce and parmesan chicken (didn’t have tomato sauce). It came out really well and I ate this WHOLE PLATE:

Felt a little stuffed but during the day literally all I had was an apple with some pb and 4 oz leftover porkchop with like 2 bites salad. So I was famished by the time dinner came around.

Things were fine- was doing my crochet, feeling alright… then everyone said they wanted ice cream- I said I was good and told them go get it without me cuz I wasn’t feeling up to it. I had a headache. Well while they left all of a sudden I had a terrible urge to YACK. So I did- probably lost about half what I ate Then when I got home my sister had brought me my favorite- the coffee lovers in the smallest size. I thanked her and put it in the freezer (scared I was gonna yack again). I figured last night- oh maybe I just ate way too much? Nope- woke up this morning with a runny nose and sneezing and so on. Took nyquil and slept till 9:30.

Got up feeling crappy- took my temperature, 97.4? Eh maybe my thermometer is broken?

Didn’t feel like making breakfast so hubby went to mcdonald’s. I got pancakes and coffee and no I don’t care :p I woke up this morning at 206… Not surprised after all the snot that I have been letting go of.

Anyways- gonna take my nyquil then go back to bed. Gonna see the Michael Jackson movie tomorrow NO MATTER what so I need some rest- not bike riding either boo.

So I talk to my husband’s neurologist and the receptionist and they are like that doesn’t make sense you SHOULD be covered- so they call and come to find out we ARE covered- whoever I talked to made a HUGE mistake and looked at the wrong stuff apparently. *sigh* All that headache for NOTHING AT LEAST my husband’s neurologist cares enough to check!

All that has to happen is my husband’s neurologist has to fill out a form saying why I need it and it’ll essentially be approved. I have to do the same with my doctor OH GREAT. I did try calling but no answer so I will call Monday morning and tell her that I didn’t fill the prescription because I’d rather stay with Nuvigil vs the other medication. I hope she doesn’t give me all sorts of grief over it. I’ll also tell her I’ll bring the prescription back after work so she can have the paper and see I’m not doing anything shady.

I have such a headache today…. Stupid insurance- how can someone make that mistake?! I mean who knows how many other people this girl messed up on!?

WELL spoke to my insurance and OF COURSE this isn’t covered- JUST great. There is a generic that IS covered at $10 a month BUT my doctor doesn’t want to give me more than 3 months worth because it can be addicting. I get that- but I’m not using this for leisure- I mean it’s MADE for people with sleep apnea and narcolepsy. That’s like telling a cancer patient- well I’ll give you treatment but only 3 months… After that you are on your own. It’s like WHAT?!

I’m hoping as the weight keeps coming down the sleep apnea will lessen or go away. I didn’t have sleep apnea till I hit over 190 lbs, so I’m hoping to get re-evaluated at 180 lbs to see if I still need a CPAP. Hopefully the answer is no.

My coworker says just don’t take it anymore and I’m like you don’t understand- I am DEAD most days- exhausted- falling asleep by 9 on Fridays, waking up at 9 the next morning. Then throughout the day STILL tired- that’s NOT normal and for the first time in almost 5 years I feel normal- I don’t want to lose this feeling and since I can’t afford $350 a month then I’ll have to go elsewhere.

I’m really disgusted that I pay like $450 a month for insurance and not to mention my copays and so on and yet I can’t get what I need and then when insurance APPROVES a generic my doctor says she doesn’t want to give it to me- wtf is that? I plan on switching doctors and before I make a permanent switch ask them how they feel about the generic- if one says they have no issue continuing to prescribe it to me then I’ll go to them. I’m going to try that route first FOR SURE before considering an online pharmacy.

*sigh* sorry I had to rant cuz I’m that mad… grrr…

Yup woke up this morning to 208 so the downward trend continues. I am proud of me- proud to say I did a BRISK WALK on the treadmill for 30 minutes- My right calf was acting up- Almost fell like a charlie horse trying to come but it didn’t. I didn’t do weights- but I will encorporate them in today This weekend will consist of a LOT of lifting as it is since we plan on cleaning out our laundry room and storage and the gym. Since my mom is coming home in three weekends I’d like to start now rather than doing everything at once a few days before. Those three areas once they are clean are fine for quite some time- SOOO we are going to tackle them first.

Dinner was yummy as usual- I made my pork chops and some au gratin potatoes (which I had to have some I couldn’t resist), I actually sauteed the zucchini with butter cuz I wanted my sister to get some FAT in her freaking diet, then I made my salad and put avocado in it for the same reason… I know my sister is 20- but she’s still my baby :p Here’s my plate:

Normally I can finish this plate- but I didn’t last night! All day yesterday I barely felt hungry AT ALL. I had my apple for breakfast and I even used less pb (probably 1 tbsp instead of 2), then for lunch I made a shrimp salad with lettuce and tomato and onion with ranch, and had my homemade broccoli cheddar soup. I barely had a few bites of my salad and some soup and I was done. I couldn’t eat anymore- I didn’t want anymore. I was surprised and first took one more spoonful of soup and realized I was trying to force myself to finish and I was like WHY am I doing this? I’m not hungry. I then dumped everything out into the trash clean and cleaned my tupperware. And then yesterday evening with dinner, I ate my salad, the zucchini, about 1/3 of the meat, and half the potatoes. I packed the rest of the salad (I made a large one) and the pork away for lunch today

I thought about it that evening- about why I was barely eating and I thought maybe because I feel more energetic I’m not turning to food as much? I DEFINITELY am staying on this pill! Even if it’s a $50/month copay! Today I call the insurance and find out- wish me luck!

Sadly my husband seems to not be doing as well on the pill and is not sure he wants the prescription- I told him I think he SHOULD continue on it because he seems better than the previous weeks- the day he skipped it to see what would happen he got home and took a nap for TWO hours!! Definitely IMO the pill is doing something!

Anyways- that’s all for today folks- have a great weekend!

Wow this stuff seems to work *cringes at what the cost will be* I did feel a little funny when I first took it, but by the afternoon that feeling wore off and I just noticed how much more energetic I felt. Then when I got home I even felt good enough to go to Michael’s- something I would have NEVER done before. To my SURPRISE I found the yarn I bought on ebay for dirt cheap! $1.79 a skein! *cry* I spent $13.15 with shipping and handling for FOUR skeins! so those four cost me $3.29 a skein! I paid $1.50 extra for four of them! GRRR. So next time when I see an auction I’m going to check out Michael’s first! The shipping was ridiculous IMO- $5 for something that weighed 8 oz’s… So I bought 8 more skeins because I realized that 4 wasn’t even enough for a BABY blanket- and got to work on it. I’m hoping to have it done in a few weeks and then move on to my next project

Gah I always get off on tangent’s don’t I? Back to feeling better…. OH YEAH so when I got home I just wasn’t even hungry but my hubby was so he went and got Jack in the Box and I had a small curly fry cuz that’s all that sounded good- but then my sister came home and though I got her a large curly fries and a side salad with ranch she was still hungry (okay this girl weights 116 where does she put it all?) so we went to 7/11 where I got some pumpkin seeds (not those thick salted ones- they have these small time company ones that aren’t all salty like the name brand ones) and then I realized I was hungry so I bought a turkey sandwich. It was yummy. I like their “farm fresh” sandwiches- not too bad and not too pricey. BUT ANYWAYS. I only ate a bit of my seeds and will definitely eat more today- I LOVE pumpkin seeds!

Here’s what my seeds looked like:

Last night brother called- dad’s going out of town so he asked if he could stay over for the next few days- sure no problem… Then my sister tells me her bf is staying over the weekend starting tomorrow SOOO I’ve got a full house for the next few days. I already planned out tonight’s dinner: Spicy aus jus Pork chops with au gratin cheesy potatoes(not for me), grilled zucchini, and a cucumber/tomato/onion/avocado salad with lemon juice- YUM!

Today I weighed in at 209- not the worst but not good- I mean at one point I DID see 206.5! So it’s time to get back onto that and then some- specially when the wedding is two weeks away! I think the lack of energy was making me turn to carbs again… But this medicine seems to be doing the trick! Got to get back on that treadmill and start using the bowflex again- it’s like on weekends I get in good exercise- two hour walks on Saturday and 1 hour bike rides on Sunday. But M-F eh… Not so good. I do think these pills though are helping and tonight at 8 I am working out! Half an hour on the treadmill and 15 minutes arm toning exercises! Then I’m showering and settling in to watch SUPERNATURAL WOO!!!! Complimentary eye candy found below:

MAN I wish that were my bed Sorry hubby! lol. Hey I told him if he ever had a chance with Jessica Alba he COULD do it :p

That’s all for today- I’m going to take pictures of dinner to make you all drool tomorrow!

For FP here ya go

Spicy Pork au Jus Recipe

Prep: 3 minutes; Cook: 9 minutes.
Yield: 4 servings (serving size: 1 pork chop and 1 tablespoon sauce)

Ingredients
4 (4-ounce) boneless pork loin chops
1 teaspoon blackened seasoning (I don’t measure this out I just sprinkly a good amount on each pork chop)
1 teaspoon vegetable oil
1/4 cup water
1 1/2 tablespoons low-sodium Worcestershire sauce
1 1/2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
1 1/2 tablespoons low-sodium soy sauce
1 1/2 teaspoons sugar

Preparation
Sprinkle both sides of pork chops with seasoning. Place a large nonstick skillet over high heat until hot; add oil. Add pork chops, and cook 4 minutes on each side or just until done. Remove pork from pan; set aside, and keep warm.

Combine water and remaining ingredients. Add soy sauce mixture to hot pan, and cook over medium-high heat 45 seconds until mixture reduces to 1/4 cup, scraping sides and bottom of pan to remove browned bits. Serve over pork.

(I don’t add water and it takes longer than 45 seconds for the sauce to thicken up enough IMO- you want it thick so it clings to the chop- I usually put the pork chops back into the pan cook them on med 30 seconds on each side to really get the sauce in with the chop- SOOO good).

Nutritional Information
Calories:185 (35% from fat)
Fat:7.2g (sat 2.2g,mono 3g,poly 1.3g)
Protein:25g
Carbohydrate:3.3g
Fiber:0.1g
Cholesterol:62mg
Iron:1.1mg
Sodium:355mg
Calcium:28mg

Yesterday was an okay day- breakfast and lunch went well. Dinner- eh. Hubby wanted hot dogs so I made hot dogs and had two, but then later on that evening I was hungry and had a small bowl of frosted mini wheats. I didn’t work out cuz I was still tired and went to bed watching TBL. Seriously it’s like 10 pm rolls around and I’m gone. Hubby watched some show till 11 pm and I’m like dude you shouldn’t sleep so late- you already have fatigue issues… But pft what do I know? I’m just a dumb woman (no he didn’t say that) but really? Come on- you are taking DRUGS for fatigue but you sleep less than 7 hours a night.

If you haven’t seen last night’s TBL then this is a spoiler:
As usual it was very sad, they went into a lot about Abby’s story and as usual it brought me to tears- I just can’t fathom losing your whole family at once- I don’t think I could go on. I was proud of the team that won but I honestly think the wrong person went home- I think Daniel needs to go home because he’s been around before and I think his body is at the point where it’s like GIVE ME A BREAK. He probably should concentrate on maintaining for a month or so then get back into gear- if he’s doing the SAME plan as Danny and getting 1/3 of the results something is up (unless he’s cheating and we aren’t aware).

I mean don’t get me wrong he’s a cutie and all- but he’s had his time.

Okay moving on! I hid the halloween candy yesterday from all of us cuz even I was dipping into it! Bad beerab! I had a mini pack of skittles yesterday- NOT good! But at least I stopped myself after one bag and not ten!

Our office area is FREEZING- it’s like nuclear winter- I’m all bundled up- I hope it doesn’t make me sick…

Had my apple with pb for breakfast but didn’t bring my lunch so going to have my old el pollo loco salad today and make lunches tonight for the next two days.

Sorry my post sounds totally sporadic, but I took my first pill this morning and now I’m like WOW I’m WIDE AWAKE! I have to get this stuff- let’s pray the prescription gods smile upon me and give me a low copay Oh and the reason I am worried about me vs. my husband is he has MS so insurance might be more likely to give him the medication EVEN THOUGH it’s made for people who have sleep apnea like me- I’m like you can’t compare illnesses! We are BOTH always tired… I pay a ridiculous amount of money for my insurance monthly! It’s going up in January- I deserve to have this medication! Meh I’m probably worrying for nothing.

Thank you patty for the “just do it” reward! I am definitely going to DO IT! I feel good enough to work out today (for the first time in a long time).

Thanks guys for your comments yesterday- I am feeling so much better today- tired, but better. Going to the doctor she said she was afraid insurance would not cover the Nuvigil, she wrote me a prescription but she said that she has tried giving her patients this in the past and insurance usually says no. I’m like REALLY the medication is for people with sleep apnea! I HAVE sleep apnea- I’m always exhausted… I went looking around and most people said their copay was anywhere between $50-$300! I can’t afford a $300 copay- and my husband is obviously also taking this so who knows what it’s going to cost us… I hear there are similar meds you can take to keep you up. I looked more into this medication and found out it’s basically a legal amphetamine. HUH?! Wow that’s crazy stuff. We’ll see what my insurance says- if they give me something even if it’s generic as long as it works I’ll take it. I’d rather have generic with a $4-$10 copay as long as it works.

Glad you guys like my crochet- it’s not as nice as some people’s but I’m having fun doing it If you didn’t see it check out the post below

I’m practicing the stitches on some leftover yarn for my sister’s blanket. I’m actually loving this pattern, it’s more complicated than anything I’ve done so far- but it’s coming out so well- I’ll take a picture of it when I’m done- though it’s going to take a long time since it’s a full blanket. But here’s what the pattern will look like when it’s done:

Lana’s will be pink and white If anyone crochet’s and you want the pattern just let me know The pattern is originally for a baby blanket but I’m just doubling it.

Eating should be good today- I can’t have dairy while on this set antibiotics (2 hours before and 2 hours after taking the pill) so breakfast today is an apple with pb. Lunch is that broccoli cheddar soup I made (which tastes soooo good) and a bit of leftover steak from last night’s dinner. Tonight’s dinner is probably pork chops and grilled zucchini with a salad. I have to call my sister and ask her to pull out the pork chops lol OOPSY But the diet is back on woo- it was actually back on yesterday- I had steak with a HUGE salad for dinner. Lunch was the yummiest sandwhich- grilled shrimp with whole wheat bread that is toasted, added tomato and green leaf lettuce with mustard and a tiny bit of light mayo- OMG YUMMIEST lunch ever! And breakfast was a whole wheat bagel with laughing cow cheese- higher on carbs but all good carbs.

Anyways, got to catch up on some work then I’ll be back later to read your blogs! Have a nice day ladies!

Today was bad, weighed in at 211 but had two slices of thin crust pizza last night so not surprised.

I’m sick again- my UTI has come back- I called in sick cuz I was up since 4 am with pain (I hate missing work). LUCKILY I had my cranberry pills and took those then bathed in baking soda for some relief. Then around 7 am fell back asleep. Woke up at 9 am and called the doctor and my appointment isn’t till 3:30 today *sigh*

I haven’t been rushing to the bathroom but I have had blood in my urine again- yay… *sigh*

The weekend wasn’t too bad overall, I finished my baby blanket:

And made a matching washcloth:

I notice it looks crooked in the photo lol- but oh well. It’s HANDMADE it’s supposed to look like that. :p

My brother’s driving me crazy- he’s dating a girl who has a bf, the girl keeps saying she’s “going to” break up with her bf- but still hasn’t. I told him she won’t and he’s going to be left heartbroken but of course he knows better. *roll eyes* My mom’s all like “tell him she’s not good for him” and I’m like really mom he’s not listening anyways so he’s just going to have to learn the hard way.

We decorated pumpkins. The one on the left is mine haha- the one on the right is Lana’s- it’s Britney Spears apparently lol

This one is cool- we bought for like $5 at Target this Mr. Pumpkin head pieces- cut a tiny hole in areas and pushed in the pieces.

Easiest pumpkin ever woo!! Only took me like 5 minutes lol.

I’m also going to speak to my doctor about a product called Nivigil, it’s given to people with sleep apnea to help them during the day- honestly I’m so exhausted that it’s hard for me to do much after work, I wake up fine but by halfway through the day I’m dead tired.

My husband was actually given this pill by his doctor to help with the fatigue associated with MS and he LOVES it- I see such a difference since he’s been taking them I want to see if it’ll help me get some energy so I can work out more and so on.

That’s all for today really- have a good day ladies. I’ll find out about my medication today.

Yesterday was an interesting day. We went to the courthouse and the courtroom we went to was PACKED. Even for a preliminary trial it was very packed. I almost didn’t get in to watch! But some people left and I got in.

It was very sad As we got there a kid, maybe 16 years old, came outside sobbing. Another man was with him, telling him he did a good job. The kid left, and a few minutes later an older couple came out with a few people, sobbing. I realized the kid must have been the victim’s son, and the older couple were her parents. I felt so bad for them- and the detective went over and asked if they needed anything, a drink perhaps? They declined but I think it was very nice of him.

Since court was already in session we couldn’t go in, so at the break me and another coworker who came to observe went and sat down. Then after that one by one they called the detectives (3), then a fingerprint examiner (from another facility who had a very good testimony), then my coworker who is a forensic evidence technician, and my coworker who is the DNA analyst went up. All gave good testimony. I realized all the people who were there in the sitting area were family and coworkers cuz they were staring DAGGERS at the defendant. I don’t blame them- he mutilated this woman and her SON is the one who found her. And to top it all off- his lawyer was asking for SECOND degree murder cuz he said it wasn’t premeditated! WHAT?! He went OVER to her house- beat her- THEN grabbed a knife from the kitchen and killed her with it! He had plenty of time to think about it. I didn’t even know but the worst part is she’d already broken up with him a month prior… She’d had dinner with him that night to see if he was “okay.” *sigh* If you break up with someone- DON’T DO THAT! Seriously specially if they were a violent person…

To me it made everything more real. Seeing the victim’s friends and family- and it made me know even more that what I am doing is definitely the right choice for me- if I can help convict someone who has killed or hurt someone, then I have done something to help. I was angry for them and sad for, and I can do something about it, I can make it so that person never kills or harms another person again.

Okay sorry to bug you all with the CSI stuff- but I couldn’t help it.

Dietwise blah- I’m not doing terrible BUT I’m not doing great. My weight is stable at 209 but I feel crappy, bloated, and tired. I know I have to get back on the bandwagon and that’s going to happen this weekend. I’m almost out of everything so tomorrow I’m going on a major shopping trip to stock up on supplies that I need. I plan to do a lot of cooking of stews that are SB friendly so I can eat better and get back on the bandwagon. Literally I have fallen off the bandwagon and into a ditch lol I told hubby this morning I need to exercise more than 2x a week for better weight loss and I plan to raise it up weekly. I want to work out everyday for the rest of this week, then next week do at least 3x again, then the week after 5x, and try to maintain a 5x a week workout schedule. Since my sister gets home at 6 and we don’t eat dinner till then, I will get in my workout from 5-6 pm. I WILL- not I will try… Wish me luck- send me some willpower dust

Oh Linda and FP- yes the cookies were homemade- that’s why I couldn’t resist. They were sooo good- but that’s all behind me now. I’m even proud to say I have not eaten ANY of the 5 bags of candy I bought for halloween- YAY for me Even though my sister already opened one! I took the bags and hid them- even from her

I was so drained last night (I think part of it was emotionally) that I went to bed at 9! My sister woke me up at 9:30 because there was a BUG in her room- i was like really you are 20…. My husband got up and took care of it. But seriously THAT annoyed me… :p I was like come on- throw a shoe at it or something!

Anyways- today isn’t too busy at work, going to check some equipment and make some kits, check on an order or two, then do some reading of the manual at work.

Sorry didn’t have any pictures today- but here is a picture of Cin and Broc- they are little buds now- but Broc still leaves him to come to me- she’s so funny she’s molting right now so yesterday I was rubbing my nose again her head cuz the new feathers that grow out are painful so she wants to be rubbed- and she didn’t move at all- puffed herself up and enjoyed it- when I would stop she’d make noises like hey mama don’t stop that feels GOOD.

Have a great weekend everyone! I’m off to read everyone’s blogs!

So today is going to be cool- I’m going to a prelim with a criminalist and a forensic evidence technician. It’s a gruesome case- a man killed his gf and stabbed her to death with a KNIFE. Sheesh what is wrong with people? I think she had tried to break up with him and he went nuts. Just a tip- if you are dating someone you don’t want to be with- don’t wait to break it off and break up with them in a public place then cease all contact.

Anyways- was starving yesterday and totally was bad I had TWO chocolate chip cookies and a piece of peppermint chocolate that someone brought in. It was a moment of weakness. It’s funny though now when I’m like I was bad it’s two cookies, before it was a BOX of cookies… So I guess in some way I’ve come far- I blame TOM for my moment of weakness.

Well not much to say except that I ate a bagel with laughing cow cheese for breakfast (poor planning on my part) and lunch is going to probably be a chinese chicken bowl I scrounged from the freezer. Tonight I’ll make sure to make a good lunch for tomorrow

Have a good day everyone.