This time it’s for real

Congratulations to Zeusmeatball who has lost 200 lbs. I’ve read his WHOLE blog over time and he’s truly an inspiration. He’s living proof that all of us can acheive weight loss without surgery, without pills, and other crazy gimmicks! Zeus if you are reading this go celebrate with a glass of water (And btw I was tremendously flattered he took the time to read my blog the other day when I’m sure he has a BAJILLION followers!)

Now don’t get me wrong- if you really need WLS than that’s different. If you are committed to doing what the doctor says, have gotten some therapy possibly to work out any issues, and have stuck to a strict diet beforehand, and really need it, then again that’s different. But I see people who are less than 100 lbs overweight (such as myself at the moment) who say they are going to get WLS. And I’m like REALLY- WLS why? You want to deal with all the stuff that goes with it? Sure they say “oh I’ve tried” but I’ve been in that “oh I’ve tried” boat- many of us “tryers” haven’t really tried that hard (including myself but hey remember this time it’s for real!). WLS isn’t easy- you still have rules to follow- you have to diet 6 months before and so on- you have to learn how to eat right- eating the “wrong way” is even more damaging for someone who has WLS. I’ve heard stories of being stretching their stomach’s back out AND even of people who have gained the weight back eventually cuz they never learned how to eat right! Heck my friend’s mother has WLS and died from it. At first it was great- she lost an incredible amount of weight and even had a boob job done! Then one day she got really sick, blood started coming out of her anus area. And when she was rushed to the hospital it was found that her intestines had “collapsed” for lack of better word. The amazing doctors helped to reconstruct her intestines as much as they could but the damage was done. Within just a few years after WLS surgery she died from complications due to the surgery. Which is why I always tell people WLS should be the LAST LAST LAST option you should consider- specially if you have 100 or less pounds to lose!

Okay now I’m off my soap box! Didn’t get to work out yesterday because my friend came back over with his broken laptop- he brought over a new hard drive and I installed it and did the recovery which took a few hours- he brought over dinner (Taco Bell) and I he brought me my favorite salsa fresca 7 layer burrito and 3 taco supremes! Course he knows I’m dieting but I thanked him for dinner and since I had only like 400 calories all day before that I ate it. I did go over by about 9 grams of fat yesterday- but I know I could have done worse. My calories did end up at around 1500 yesterday so still within my limits Today when I get home from work I’m going to work out half an hour on my treadmill because I won’t have time afterwards because my baby brother is graduating high school today! We are taking him out afterwards then tonight we are going to see Lisa Lampanelli. Today looks like it’s going to be a great day despite the “June Gloom.” I hope you have a great day too

Have a great weekend everyone and keep up the great work!

So yesterday did another half hour on the treadmill, about halfway through my foot started to hurt so I changed up for a brisk walk instead. I thought a day rest would be enough for my foot but guess not- even if I just do a brisk walk it’s better than nothing. And yesterday I had a TEENY tiny bit of ice cream at work cuz they were celebrating - 2 couples at our lab recently were married. At least the small bit of gain from the past few weeks is going down quickly. Hoping by Monday’s weigh in to get down another pound… But if I don’t it’s okay.

With my husband’s situation apparently the main boss wasn’t there yesterday so they didn’t do much but speak to him about the car incident and of course O totally denied doing anything wrong or telling R what he said. My husband’s boss still is assuring us that he’ll be fired today- but pft then WHY on earth speak to him yesterday then? Why not wait till the day you fire him so he doesn’t know what’s up. So now again today I’m nervous and told my hubby call me if anything happens and if it gets crazy just leave.

It’s another busy day today- My sister is coming home tonight to be at my brother’s graduation tomorrow. We’ll take him out to lunch wherever he wants to go (hopefully where he chooses has some good options for eating). No workout today except for some weight lifting so I can give my foot a break. But definitely working it out tomorrow.

Have a great day everyone!

Omg yesterday was such a nutty day- today I’m so nervous I feel sick to my stomach! I almost called in sick.

There is a person at my husband’s work, let’s call him O. O is from Somalia. He seems alright but my husband said he has a temper. Well this guy has fought in wars over there and has seen people killed in front of him, including his family. Apparently he doesn’t like a guy named C at work. C is a really nice guy so I can’t imagine why he doesn’t like him. So Monday O gets to work and hit’s C’s car when he opens his door- C was in his car at the time and says “hey man you hit my car, be careful.” O blatantly denies hitting his car and C’s like dude I felt it- just be careful next time. So then O is in the locker room, and another coworker, R, walks in and O says “what do you think of C?” And R’s like oh he’s cool. O proceeds to tell him that he HATES C and wants to kill him. R’s like what happened and O changes the story to say he was like oh I’m sorry I tapped your car but C is yelling and cussing him out- okay so not what happened- we all know C- he’s the nicest guy and wouldn’t say that. Then O proceeds to tell R if he were ever fired from this place he’d come back with his AK-47, kill everyone, then go back to Somalia because “he’s got a free kill.”

OKAY WTF! WTF! As soon as my husband heard this from R he went straight to the assistant lead and told him everything that was said- the assistant lead took it VERY seriously and set up a meeting with the lead and some of the bosses for all the area. Apparently today he will be taken aside- the cops will be coming- he will be fired and hopefully the cops are smart enough to check his HOME. The worst part is he didn’t show up to work yesterday- he called in sick- I told my hubby don’t go to work but he was like no it’ll be fine… I mean what if he was at home planning to come to work today and shoot everyone up? UG I want to call but my husband’s phone has no reception downstairs. I swear concentrating at work isn’t going to be easy today…

I haven’t even eaten breakfast I don’t feel like I could, I’m not going to rest easy until I am at home and my hubby is too. I’ve got some stuff to work on but I just can’t seem to concentrate though I know I have to. *sigh* I hope everything goes well, even if that dude was talking out of his ass that’s not something you go around saying! Hubby said no matter what he’s going to be fired. But somehow that doesn’t make me feel better…

Well I just did it- the first day of the C25k, and I did it all. I just showered AND today my calories were good- and yes I’m counting again cuz I know I’m probably eating a bit more than I should…. But I think at least taking a break from it definitely helped me from being burned out from it. Time to start again!

Here’s my hubby’s bday party: There are quite a few pictures so hopefully you don’t mind! AND YES the cake is in there! :p

Here’s the skull vodka I paid 60 freaking dollars to have shipped to my home!

Here’s hubby playing rockband:

My little brother and our friend playing rockband:

My sister and brother rocking out:

My sister singing:

Another friend- his first time playing RB:

Husband and friend:

Cosmos!

All the lovely ladies at the party

The GIANT pizza! They ate it all up before I could take a picture- this ONE pizza fed everyone!

More RB YES I am singing :p

Getting a few drinks into our friend to make her brave

Now she’s brave enough to sing!

AND NOW the cake!

Blow out the candles!

Mmmm yummy!

Being silly! Get what they are doing?!

BTW the guy is blind in one eye- hence why he only covered one eye!

Who are these people?! lol

Okay that’s all- it was a great party hope you enjoyed the photos!

So today was a great weekend- hubby had a fun party and we had a blast- I drank quite a bit so ug diet went out the window. I guess the good thing is that today’s weigh in is 216.5- only half a pound above last week’s weigh in. It’s not good, it’s not great, it’s not terrible. But again it’s not good…

Today I was reading Lyn’s blog and she spoke of how she went to the doctor for an eye infection and the recommendation for her was actually to walk half an hour a day and so on! I was like uh what on earth does that have to do with an eye infection?! And then she linked to another blog. This woman who is someone who is working hard to lose weight went to the doctor because one of her feet was really hurting her since she had started some step class. First she thought it was her shoe but found out nope- it was her foot. She went to the doctor who flat out told her “it’s cuz you are fat” and proceeded to tell her to workout and eat less. She told him that she works out 1-2 hours a day and watches her diet- this foot problem hadn’t occured till recently and she’s lost weight by then. The doctor basically insinuated she was a liar… The link to that post is on lyn’s blog.

Reading that I was outraged and shocked. But at the same time I felt her pain- I hate going to the doctor because when I go I always get the “you need to lose weight” to which I reply “I’m trying.” even last time when I went I was lighter than the time before by a few pounds and still got the same “you need to lose weight” deal. HELLO- I KNOW I need to lose weight- everytime I look at my fat ass in a picture I SEE that I need to lose weight- no one needs to tell me! I KNOW! *scream*

That being said lately the motivation is just out the window- I’m tired- I’m working hard at work- I’m dealing with my mother- I’m dealing with a father who I haven’t spoke to in years who all of a sudden tells my brother to tell me he still loves me. Of course I reply to my brother “if that were true- he wouldn’t have ever told me I wasn’t his daughter anymore. He wouldn’t have financially cut me off in my last year of college and made me have to pay a debt that I’m STILL paying back. He would have been at my wedding giving me away, and so on. He still has my number, why doesn’t he call? Sometimes think I wouldn’t mind having a relationship with him again (though it’d never be the same) but as I’m sitting there dealing with this all of the “I want food” cravings start coming on because with food I don’t have to think as I shovel it down my throat… did I give in? Yes and no- I ate a bowl of soup that didn’t even taste good and then later I had a tamale- I didn’t even need that- I wasn’t even hungry- when I started to reach for another tamale I said- wtf am I doing?! I then drank a glass of water and went to bed (yes this happened at 9:30 pm last night).

It’s funny cuz I don’t like being fat- I’m 26, I should have a rocking hot body and so on. My 20 year old sister is so beautiful- I think she’s a size 3, curvy, beautiful face, hair, and so on. I want what she has. I want to go to the beach in a bikini and not feel uncomfortable with my body! I want to wear the cute dresses my sister has and not feel like a fat heifer with folds of skin coming out of the dress.

Looking at the pictures over the party weekend I looked HUGE. You’d think since I don’t LIKE being fat I’d do something about it! I want to be thin again- so what’s holding me back?!

I’m going to tell you- I don’t know! Today when I get home there will be some dishes in the kitchen, a few things around the living room. But overall the house is clean. Comic-con is now 6 weeks away- much closer than I thought! And all I want is to be at onederland when it comes around- so that’s 17.5 lbs in 6 weeks which breaks down to 3 lbs a week. You’d think that Comic-con would be motivation enough, but nope it isn’t. Oh btw this year we have decided to not dress up cuz the cost is just not practical. You’d think hating the doctor would be motivation enough but NOPE it isn’t. You’d think that an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini would be motivation- but nope, it’s not.

So what is my motivation? Sure my health- sure my husband (and let me say in no one has he told me to lose weight- I just feel that I want to be thin for him as well), and all the other things I’ve mentioned before. I want to lose weight for me!

I have said “this time it’s for real” almost every week I say I’m going to do things right- and so far I haven’t lived up to that like I should. It’s time to get serious again- and with that said I will start doing my calorie counting again and will get serious about the C25k. I will have hubby put that new mat underneath the treadmill today. I will do the first day of the C25k no matter how hard it is. And I will tell myself that “nothing will work unless I do.” I will not continue to stay at week 1 of the C25k because it’s “still hard.” Obviously I have to continue with the week to week workouts- if it’s easy I wouldn’t lose the weight! DUH!

Alright that’s it for my rant today- I WILL come to you all tomorrow with a cheerful post about how I faithfully did what I said I’d do today AND how I’m going to do it the next day! I promise tomorrow will be a happier post I’ve just got to take it one day at a time

UG crampy, bloaty, achy, tiredy (is that a word?), and just wanting to go back to bed!

Today is going to be a busy ass day! Got a bunch of projects to wrap up, then when I get home going to make a quick dinner and then get started on the party stuff. Going to clean the house, the bathrooms, the kitchen, the living room, scrub and mop the floor, put the pets in the office because the party will just scare and aggravate and stress them out. Specially Brownie- again if anyone is in or near the san diego area I have a guinea pig for adoption- not asking for a dime- you will get all his stuff that I have, cage, bedding, accessories, food, EVERYTHING. It’s not a money issue- it’s an issue that since my husband has been diagnosed with MS and has been on medication he hasn’t had the tolerance for Brownie like he used to. And for me I don’t have time for a guinea pig- the pig is my husband’s pet, not mine, and while I like him I’ve got my own pet who is very demanding of my attention. Please if you know anyone I’d appreciate it so much!

So yesterday I sat around and thought about what I’m going to do for a cake and I figured it out:

I’m going to make the GTO badge for his cake- his will say 6.0 LITRE instead of 5.7 because the 2006 is a 6.0 LITRE.

Well everyone have a great day- please email me at banarabbyt@gmail.com if you are interested in the guinea pig and want more details! His picture is on my about me page and yes he is healthy- I will also give you his vitamin supplements- all you have to do is put a tiny bit in with his water when you change it A bottle lasts FOREVER.

Haha you guys will think I’m silly but I’d see “happy hump day” all over and finally was like dude are you telling me you had sex last night!? lol. Then I realized oh wait they post it on Wednesday- then to double check I googled hump day and apparently Wednesday is hump day because that’s the day of the week just before you can anticipate the weekend- how ingenious.

Not much to say today- a girl at work is putting in her two weeks and a project they gave to her she put off on me- I didn’t realize she was leaving and thought she was giving me an opportunity to do something new, but a few people are mad saying she’s taking advantage of me. I’m not too fussed because it IS something I want to do anyways! She said if I didn’t have time I didn’t have to do it- but I wanted to. I mean work is pretty slammed as it is, I still have to print out my first project, start a new hematrace protocol, put together a discovery of an old manual (basically we give DA’s special copies of old manual’s that have “uncontrolled sheriff’s document” on each page then turn it into one PDF file), and do a large scale inventory of consumables we have over $25! And I also have to write down all the stuff we have that is over 5 years old, whatever we still use must be re-ordered and what we don’t use must be thrown out- but in the proper methods… THAT’s a LOT of stuff! *sigh* lol. The number one thing to finish today is the inventory as I turn it in tomorrow! Then the discovery item, then after that my first validation and after THAT the rest of the stuff *faint* I have to get all this stuff done by the end of next week.

So today I’m feeling like this:

Don’t think I’ll get in a workout today because I have a meeting with a client at 5:30 and who KNOWS how long that will take! Gonna eat a snack before I go then afterwards make some dinner. But of course eating healthy still applies

Have a good day everyone :)’

UPDATE ug I just found out the company I bought the cake thing from made a mistake and barely TODAY shipped out my car mold! Now I’m going to have to figure something else out. I called them and was like hey what gives- I was told this item would ship out on the 1st and be here by the today They told me they were refunding my money and to refuse the package when it came. But there goes my car cake! Plan B is to make a rectangular cake that looks like a track and stick on a few of his GTO’s. I’m sure he’ll like it.

Okay so got home last night, talked to my sister who is coming out Thursday for a job interview (for a job that starts in September) and she’s staying the rest of the week- yay

At 5:30 I did it- went on the treadmill half an hour- stretched for a few minutes beforehand and then did a brisk pace but no hard core running- I bought a treadmill mat so I’m gonna get my hubby to put it on for me- the treadmill is kind of wobbly on our wooden surface so it makes me nervous! Someone told me a treadmill mat would help. So anyways I’m proud of me- today gonna get on the treadmill again at least for another half hour- gonna try for an hour- I think I’ll go on at 6 pm because I was honestly kind of bored on the treadmill but at 6 pm one of my favorite shows comes on so that’ll help the hour go by faster

I have decided to give Brownie away- all my husband does is yell at him and it really bothers me- since my husband’s MS he seems to have less patience with him and I’d rather give Brownie to someone who has the time for him. Maybe someone with a kid that’s like 8-10 years old, guinea pigs seem to be good pets for kids since they don’t bite and as long as the kid is careful they can be a good pet owner. If you know someone looking for a pet for their kid in the San Diego area please let me know! I’ll send you my email and when you contact me I will give you my phone number for that person to contact me. If I cannot find someone I will give him to a local shelter. I’m not asking for any money and the person will get his cage, playpen, all the food I have, all the Hay I have, his toys and snacks as well. I hate to give him up- it’s not an easy decision- but he really deserves someone who can be more attentive to him. He is not sick in any way- he’s very healthy- he gets veggies everyday in addition to his pellets and hay, there is a picture of him on my about me page- you can see he’s got a shiny and smooth coat.

Anyways I’m feeling good about working out- I think once I get back into it everything will be all good! Watch out w8 challenge people!

Ug so yesterday I go over to the client’s and get his computer fixed then get home and my husband’s friend is over- HIS laptop isn’t working. I’m kind of annoyed cuz I’m like DUDE I WANT TO RELAX…. But he’s a nice guy so I’m like *sigh* let me see. So many hours later I tell him that I’m pretty sure his RAM is messed up and get new RAM. THEN he says “oh well I’ll just take it in…”

WELL why didn’t you do that in the FIRST PLACE! *scream*

I hope he doesn’t come over today- but if he does OH WELL I’m not doing anything but stuff for me. AND the guys bought food so for dinner I ate a whopper jr, no mayo, and then had a salad as well- tonight I’m cooking! Other than that eating was good.

I’m not going to think “oh I have time to lose weight” cuz honestly I’m pretty pissed about yesterday… Not at myself but at the fact I didn’t get a workout in. I don’t want to lag on this anymore!

Anyways- hope your day was better than mine and today I’m sticking to plan- EVEN IF God comes down to my house tomorrow and says “Bee we have to talk” I’m gonna say “sorry God, I got to work out right now, give me an hour…” lol

Well today already seems like a BUST since I had cleaned some units but didn’t put one part back in place so the machines didn’t run and now two people are upset with me (one more than the other)- BUT it was an accident it’s not like I purposely sabotaged them and it’s never happened in the 8 months I’ve been here (I clean those machines WEEKLY)- I apologized and that’s all I can do. I feel really bad

Hope your day goes better than mine…. I already feel a migraine coming on!

Today’s menu:
B: 1 serving wheat thins fiber selects + two french onion laughing cows
L: Lean cuisine spaghetti + 1 medium orange
D:
S:

Okay today is June 1st, I’ve rested enough, yesterday I talked to my hubby and asked him if he minded having dinner more like between 6-7 pm vs. 5-6 pm. He said that’s fine with him, so now when I get home from work (usually around 4:30) I’m going to take a quick rest, then workout from 5-6 pm on MWF on the treadmill, then then Tuesday/Thursday I’m going to do weights on that bowflex. I think part of my lack of motivation is I don’t want to work out after dinner lol.

Anyways, I’m all set, got my food all stocked up and though I didn’t make the best choices over the weekend (darnit I forgot to weigh myself today), I did the old “eat half your plate then bring the rest home for another meal…” I mean it wasn’t the worst stuff, on Saturday hubby and I went out to lunch to this Pho place and I had Tai Pho- it’s a rice noodle soup in a clear broth with bean sprouts and mint leaves and basil leaves and thin slices of beef. You put hot sauce in it and I also had two fresh spring rolls (not fried). I did try one of those coffees with the tapioca balls, it was definitely interesting but I don’t think I’ll ever eat another one again lol. I ate half and took the rest home for dinner SOO YUMMY!

Then Sunday we went out and about on errands and so and I ate at the Great Khan- I LOVE that place! It’s mongolian food and how it works is there is like a salad bar type setup and it starts with different raw meats (frozen and thinly sliced), then veggies, then the sauces you want, then noodles. You get a bowl and fill up on all you want. The sauces are soy sauce, ground up garlic, some Great Khan sauce (looks like another soy sauce to me lol), lobster sauce, and hot sauces. Nothing that looks fattening or greasy. After you put your meat and veggies, they take your plate and put the sauces on it, then put some noodles on top and walk over to this HUGE flat girl that’s round, and they cook your food right there with water. They add some sort of sauce but there big thing is they don’t cook with oil which has to be healthier right? Anyways normally I’d eat the whole thing and ask for more noodles but this time nope- got the normal amount of noodles then only ate half and then had the rest for dinner YUM! I also had that with a ton of cauliflower and ranch on the side

Normally I don’t eat out so much on the weekends but I had so much to prepare for hubby’s bday that I wasn’t home most of the day both days!

So yesterday I made the fondant and pft the woman who made the recipe said it took her EIGHT minutes to get the right consistency- she must be some kneading champion it took me like half an hour! lol. Then I had to put the dye in it- man did I make a mess! But I put down wax paper so that got stained and nothing else It’s now sitting in my fridge and today I have to pull it out- knead it again- then add more dye since the fondant is more like a black/purple marble than a BLACK BLACK. I’ll also probably make the butter cream today or tomorrow.

One of my clients really annoyed me this weekend- show up on Saturday at 9 am to his work and he never showed! He’s the one who needs this stuff so bad apparently and didn’t even call me. He had asked me to come Monday and I said I couldn’t make it then and rightly so I can’t! I’ll go tomorrow but HE has to call me so I can say “well where were you Saturday? I waited half an hour and left!” I’m charging him an additional $20 for that…. So his bill has gone from $100 (including the $45 I spent for the equipment he needs) to $120. :p

And to add to that there is something screwy with my results- two samples are exactly the same that’s definitely not right! So I’m repeating the run… Hopefully that solves the mystery of why two samples are the same- that’s not possible!

Anyways have a great day everyone! Get your workout on!

Today’s Menu:
Breakfast: 1 serving wheat thins fiber selects + two laughing cow wedges
Lunch: Lean cuisine chicken Fried Rice
Snack: Whole wheat bagel with hummus (yes I know I’m carbing it up today apparently)
Dinner: TBD most likely broccoli cheese soup
Snack: Skinny cow ice cream