Food Obsession
Why is it that some people have bad relationships with food? Why is it that some people see food as just that- food. But the rest of us see food as pleasure, as comfort, and so on.
I feel I have this obsession with food. From the moment I get up it’s like what am I gonna eat for breakfast? What time should I eat it? How many calories/fat/protein/fiber/carbs is in that? Okay now when I eat this now- what am I going to eat for lunch- how far is lunch from now? Alright had my lunch and tracked my calories- now what am I gonna do for dinner? A snack before? And afterwards?!
It’s really exhausting and I don’t want to be this way. I hate it- I hate wanting to eat, I hate food, I love food, I hate myself when I eat, sometimes I feel that I’m eating too much and then when I look back I realize I was within my calories/protein/fat/carbs for the day- so I ask myself WHY am I so hard on myself? Would I be hard on myself if I were losing weight? Is it because I’m not that I treat myself this way? But then am I subconsciously sabotaging myself? What’s up with me! Comic con is now 5 weeks away and I had wanted to get down to 199 by then- last time I weighed in I was 214… That’s 15 pounds in 5 weeks, that’s three pounds a week- RIGHT…. Heck at this point if I lose TEN I’ll be happy!
Last night I decided to go on amazon and I ordered three books (all used and ended up being less than $25). All three were about Fat Obsession and helping you understand where it comes from and how to deal with it. I figured it can’t do anything but help. When I read them I will let you know if I feel if they help or not.
The books I ordered in case you are curious (or have read them and want to let me know what you thought)
Conquer Your Food Addiction : The Ehrlich 8-Step Program for Permanent Weight Loss by Caryl Ehrlich
Food Addiction: The Body Knows: Revised & Expanded Edition by Kay Sheppard
From the First Bite: A Complete Guide to Recovery from Food Addiction by Kay Sheppard
I have seen a few other recommended books but I’m going to start with these three- normally I’d go to the library but I want time to really read the books- not rush and return them after 2 weeks.
Food yesterday was good, I ate just over 1400 calories. Spent time playing with Broccoli. Today I am feeling so much better that tonight I will be running week 2 of the C25k YAY 
Don’t worry about me- I’m not- I know I’ll find my niche and I know that I’m going to lose the weight- maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow. But someday! Looking at the positives I already know I eat so much healthier and take better care of myself, and that has to count for something!
Oh I just want to add I’m not looking for a pity party- I apologize if my post seems negative- but I’m genuinely trying to understand what’s blocking me from weight loss and I honestly feel I need to get down to some deeper issues than just calories in and calories out.
Today’s Menu:
Breakfast: 1 medium banana: 110 cal
Lunch:
Lean Cuisine BBQ pizza: 350 calories
2 small oranges: 90 calories
Dinner: Rustica Lasagna + cucumber salad: 560 calories
Snack: Cheezits (200 calories) + Fruit snacks (80 cal) Breyer’s ice cream bar (okay so not good 160 cal): 440 calories
Total 1550 calories
I swear to God; is it something in the freakin’ water?!?!?! We all seem to be struggling (emotionally) right now. Time for a group hug.
:: hugs ::
Sweetie, we ARE gonna meet up at Comic Con, and I don’t give a flying fark what your weight is or will be at the time. We are gonna laugh and hug and enjoy meeting up. Screw the rest, babygirl!!!
hon you know I feel the same way. It’s discouraging when I see people on the forums say stuff like “oh yeah I don’t want that stuff anymore” and I think man… but I do! I think about it often! Why is it that some days I feel in control and other days it feels like a monster we have to tame? I wish I knew the answer!!
Its good to hear other people feeling like I feel. I love food. But the food doesnt love me back. I always wonder how long I have till my next meal too. Its great that your looking at the positives. Makes me feel positive that maybe I can get past the food obsession too. I hope the books help. I’ll check back on your blogs to see how the books go. Good luck.
I am sooooo with you on this. I can’t stop thinking about food. Eating is such a horrible thing to me that I start to feel guilty no matter what I eat. The other night, I got really annoyed with myself for eating too much broccoli. that’s right, too much broccoli. I was only supposed to have 3 spears, but I had 6. LOL!
great post! Those books look good. Tell us how you like them.
Negative??? I ahve been the queen of that this past month or so. You have been Pollyanna compared to me! LOL
Take care
I totally could have written this post myself
I am obsessed with food also. It seems even more so now that I have changed my lifestyle and started losing weight. I constantly think of food, when, where, what, how much…ect… it is exhausting. I so wish there was an answer, but we have to just keep trying. I am determined to be healthy no matter what my brain is thinking about. I need a good book too. thanks for the suggestions.