This time it’s for real

My old trainer wants to meet me- my husband and I do website programming on the side, and he wants to build a website. I’m like oh great he’ll see that I’m not that much thinner than he last saw me *cry* Oh well I guess- business is business. Funny thing is that he asked if we could meet today I said “oh I can’t I’m already meeting ANOTHER client lol! Now he’ll be like wow this girl really is doing stuff lol.

I was good on calories yesterday. 1640 calories and didn’t eat when I got home from class. I’ve never done that before let’s just say. I’m surprised though usually after class I’m starving- but not yesterday. Sure I could have munched on something but I just drank some more water then went to bed.

OF COURSE my husband ordered pizza again and I got really mad- I was like do you realize you have spent like $50 on dinner for TWO days? We aren’t rich by any means, sure we live pretty comfortably, but only because we live in my mother’s house currently. Sure I take care of all her things- but it’s still an advantage right now because we are paying off our debts as quick as we can and I’m hoping to start SAVING for a house in a few months! He apologized and said he didn’t think about it that way (yeah men never think- hm two pizzas a week, so $25*2, then that times for weeks a month is $200 for pizza! WASTE OF MONEY!). He says he won’t order pizza anymore and I told him once a month is fine, but twice a week is insane… I was like are you punishing me for not being around at dinner? MAKE YOURSELF SOMETHING. I almost want to say tell your friend he can’t come over anymore cuz everytime he comes over you guys eat crap (and this is the friend who is “trying to lose weight.”). He has MS and the doctor told him cut out as much fat as he can and pizza is fattening! I make healthy meals almost everyday of the week, it won’t kill him to whip out a pot and make himself something as well! Heck even the freezer is full of burritos and mini pizzas and TV dinners HE bought for himself that just sit there…

Anyways- been back on the bandwagon a few days and I realize I feel better about myself when I am eating healthier- when I was going a bit out of control over the last weekend (I’ve lost 1 of the 4 lbs I regained) I didn’t feel good about myself and was so mad that I’d let myself go that bad. But it’s okay, that’s how we learn.

Hope everyone has a great day of weight loss!

Today’s Menu:
Breakast: 2 skinny cow wedges plus 1 serving fiber select wheat thins: 190 calories
Lunch: el pollo loco salad no dressing, avocado salsa, and 2 grilled chicken legs: 450 calories
Dinner: Salmon with something else, haven’t decided yet….

Okay so last night I did it- I ate well again. Funny thing was after dinner I calculated my calories and only had like 1100 calories. But dumb me instead of being like well okay that’s cool- I decide “I want to eat my girl scout cookies” and I ate my last two somoa’s. That with a cup of milk bam I’m up to like over 1500. So still good on my calories but eh should I feel bad about two cookies and a cup of 2% milk?

I did work out my half an hour last night- but my calves were really hurting. I stopped halfway through and did some calve stretches but still wasn’t able to run too much more so I just did a brisk walk till like the last two minutes where I did my “cool down.”

I’m not progressing on the C25k because I’m definitely not being consistent- and the key to being a better runner is consistency! So I got to get on that!

I plan on printing out like 2 or 3 weeks of my food and have a print out of all my workouts ready for the nutritionist when I go- that way she won’t be like “write down what you eat, see you in a week” it’s like yeah no that’s done here- figure out what I’m doing wrong besides being too busy… lol.

I won’t lie- I still am not loving working out… I have to tell myself “JUST DO IT” all the time and while I’m running I have to say “go go go!! You can do it”" It’s funny though if you walk by when I’m working out you’ll hear me grunt and scream in frustration lol. My husband is probably like WHAT is my wife doing in there? Should I join in? lol

So the plan is STAY ON PLAN (oranges seem to help me not be hungry) and STRETCH before running for 5 minutes, then do my run and then stretch afterwards. I’m hoping to up my workouts to an hour here and there- and definitely after my class is done there will be NO EXCUSES to work out an hour a day at least 3-4 times a week I can’t keep doing well for a while then getting off plan then doing well then getting off plan- it’s a vicious cycle. AH HA I found the solution- go to an island and stay there till I lose all the weight OR go on the biggest loser LOL!

I can’t blame others for my bad decisions. I was reading Lynn’s blog and she posted (a long while back) about how she cannot blame her husband bringing home “bad” food for her choices. I can’t blame my husband for me eating two breadsticks, but I can ask him if he’s done with it and put the rest away (in the trash can… I hate wasting food but he won’t eat it and I don’t want it!).

I’ve also decided the day before my class I’ll have a meal ready in the fridge and when I get home I’ll pop it in the microwave or put the dressing on the salad and eat it. That way even though I’m tired my meal will pretty much be all ready to go

So I started looking at my goals, and the closest one is “onederland” which is 12 *coughy* 16*cough* pounds away. 12 officially anyways! So I look up my current BMI, 38, wow I didn’t realize but I’m now out of the “morbidly obese” category. Course now I’m just “regular” obese- but hey it works! So the next step is being “overweight” which I won’t see till I hit 163 pounds- okay that’s 49 lbs away! *faint* BUT onederland is ONLY 12 away, so my next goal besides mainting 3-4 times a week workouts is to hit wonderland. THEN after that it will be to hit 190. Which is what I weighed when I got married. WHAT THE HELL happened after marriage? I just swallowed a balloon that kept expanding apparently! :p 190 may seem like only 9 more lbs, but to me it was a point where I really was becoming uncomfortable with my looks and though I felt beautiful on my wedding, I wish I had been thinner, but it’s no good to try over spilled milk The next goal after that will be 163 lbs. Then I will just be “overweight” BLAH but hey I remember when I was 169 I felt HOT still, guys were still asking me for my number and so on- so 163 is good too!

Then the final goal, 140 lbs. I will be on the high end of healthy- BUT I will be there!

BTW here is a healthier version of a spinach dip recipe:

Spinach Dip

1 (10 ounce) package frozen chopped spinach, thawed and drained
1 c low fat sour cream (I use Daisy Light)
1/2 c low fat mayonnaise (Best Foods/Hellman’s Reduced Fat Mayo: 20 cal/T)
1 envelope dry Knorr leek soup mix OR vegetable soup mix OR Lipton onion soup mix
1 (8 ounce) can water chestnuts, drained and chopped
3 green onions, chopped (optional.. I only use this with the vegetable soup mix)

Mix everything together and chill for an hour or two.

Using one package of spinach, Knorr Vegetable soup mix, Daisy Light sour cream (20 cal/T), and Best Foods Reduced Fat may (20 cal/T), the entire recipe of this dip has 735 calories and 36 grams of fat. If you use Lipton Onion soup mix, the calories increase to 775. If you use Knorr Leek soup mix, the recipe has 825 calories and 43.5 grams of fat.

All this only about 200 calories!

Workout for today- ran half an hour. Well ran 4 times for one minute then brisk walked the rest- now I’m sweaty and nasty and going to take a shower… I’ve got to do better- I still can’t get past week one of the C25k, I’m looking up stretches because my calves always hurt so bad- I need to stretch before my run- no ifs, ands, or butts about it!

Well yesterday things didn’t go exactly as planned. When I got home I was exhausted- MAN that class just drains me! So instead of making my salad hubby had breadsticks and pizza so I had TWO breadsticks! *die*

I still topped off at 1650 calories, but it’s like WHY can’t I just control the urges to eat bad things? It drives me nuts- at night I seem to have very little control. It’s like in one hand I’m determined to do well, but on the other hand I’m sabotaging myself. I shouldn’t eat those things. I wish my husband would stop ordering pizza the days I’m gone. And if he doesn’t order pizza his FRIEND comes over and orders it! *sigh* I mean not just for me, but for my husband- really he shouldn’t be eating that much pizza!

I do have a referral for a nutritionist- so I’m going to bite the bullet and go see her. I have definitely gained back four pounds and that’s NOT good! Last week like I said I didn’t exercise cuz of my toe and was on the high end if not over my calories pretty much everyday! *sigh* I just worry with my class I won’t be able to stick to it- but thank goodness the last day of class is May 20th- which is only 5/6 weeks away! WOO! After that things WILL be kicked into high gear- I think my referall ends before that- so I’ll book the appointment as late as possible. Hopefully with this person and being done with class I can get on track and post my success story on 3FC

On a happy note our lab has been cleaning out things due to our construction going on. And we had about 300 boxes of gloves that were about to be THROWN out. Okay 1 box of gloves on average costs at least $10. SO that’s $3,000 worth of gloves! I asked my boss if I could give them away he said sure- so I called my professor and asked her if she would like them for the college and she said yes please and when the assistant came to pick them up he was shocked lol. He was so thankful he said this will be enough gloves for YEARS to come thank you so much! So yeah I felt GOOD on the inside I like donating and giving my time- I decided to do it more often- it’s more important than sitting on the couch playing on my computer or watching TV. Today I just volunteered at the Sheriff’s Museum to be there on Cinco De Mayo (well on the 2nd so the saturday before) to help sell items and hand out water and do tours or whatever they need. Sounds like fun

Anyways- that’s enough for my randomness today. Have a good day everyone!

Blah what a bad weekend, I didn’t work out at all. Saturday was bad for food- but not as bad as I used to be- I had carne asada fries (half order) and yeah I know that brought me over calories. Fries, cheese, sour cream, guacamole and grilled beef YEAH…

Though yesterday I was good with food. I did have an omelette easter morning. But it was so good and healthy if I may say so myself. Don’t know how many eggs, but with spinach, cottage cheese, chorizo, and salsa mmmm! That and two corn tortillas and beans (oh man it was heaven). My MIL gave my husband and I a HUGE HUGE easter basket FULL of candy. I had a small pack of M&M’s and then a few of those mini cups then told my husband and sister get it away from me lol. For dinner we had marinated grilled chicken, corn, grilled veggies, and cucumber salad.

I love my cucumber salad- less than 100 calories and that’s if you eat a freaking HUGE serving bowl worth lol. It’s one tomato, one large cucumber or a few small ones, then some onion- like 1/4 (any onion you like) and some sumac, salt, and lemon juice to add if you like (sumac is a lemon spice).

I haven’t worked out cuz the toe is still bugging me. I was hoping to get something done yesterday but after doing some walking it would still give me pain now and then. But today it feels okay so I’m going on the treadmill tomorrow.

I weighed myself while on TOM and it showed a gain of 4 lbs, which I’m hoping will be gone and I’ll be back to normal next weigh in if not thinner

So it’s back on the bandwagon- if you fell off the bandwagon cuz of Easter let me lend you a hand up!

Yes that sugar substitute stuff is scary isn’t it? I definitely am cutting out my skinny cow treats! Crap I wonder if the Fiber One bars have sugar substitutes? What else am I eating on a regualr basis that has all sorts of sugar subs?! *faint* lol.

So yesterday the nurse came over and she was great. She showed Chad and I exactly how to inject the Copaxone with his autoinjector. He has to take it once a day, and yesterday was his first injection. He said that the actual needle going in didn’t hurt- but afterwards he said it REALLY hurt- stung like a bad bee sting and he ended up getting a welt at the injection site which the nurse said was totally normal. I felt bad and knew in advance that it was going to be a cake day. A cake for my special brave man. As soon as the nurse left I made a reduced sugar chocolate cake with a reduced sugar frosting. Calculating all the ingrediants and the fact that I made exactly 12 slices. That came out to 320 calories per slice (UG my sister put in the olive oil before I could grab the white beans to use instead! but oh well). Needless to say I OBVIOUSLY went over my calories yesterday- but oh well! I still did half an hour of exercise and it won’t kill me to have a bad day now and then- specially when I PLANNED it. Course now there are only four slices left. My husband, sister, and husband’s friend devoured the cake. I was like GO FOR IT cuz I don’t want to eat anymore lol I know I know you are probably like WHY are you rewarding with food?! But hey- sometimes a cake made by your wife is something your husband appreciates! I know my husband loves it when I make something specially for him.

Anyways- besides going over my calories I DID do my workout for half an hour yesterday WOO HOO! I was able to run longer this time than last time- so it’s giving me more confidence in my running- but I’m still going to stay on week 1 for the rest of the week. I’m happy that my feet aren’t hurting and that I’m able to stick to it! I either listen to the podcast or watch TV. Today I’m going to TRY to get an hour in- but we’ll see… The good news is that my jeans that were tight I was able to put on today much easier yay! Hoping in a few weeks that they’ll be too big!

TOM is here BOO- I will weigh myself this weekend but I’m sure I won’t like it lol.

Dude so yesterday I had every intention of working out last evening. But I was so dead! After dinner my husband and I watched a movie and then I went to bed at like 8:30! Woke up at 6 am- MAN I needed that! I don’t know why I have been so tired lately- but I definitely needed to sleep. I had a terrible headache and it was one of those TIRED headaches. So I knew I just needed to get a really good night’s sleep. I did wake up a few times but overall I am sure I got over 8 hours I don’t feel bad for missing the workout since the C25k recommends taking a day break in between. But today it’s ON! I feel totally energetic and refreshed today

So today Jillian Michaels was on the radio talking about her new book: Master Your Metabolism and she was talking about how all these preservatives and chemicals in our lives contributed to our weight. She said eating those foods with artificial sweeteners aren’t better for you. They teach your body to crave more sweets because your body starts to not associate calories with sweets (i’m paraphrasing terribly) and so you gain weight or don’t lose. I think this might be why a few people have had weight loss has suddenly stop- have you encorporated more artificial sweeteners in your diet and had your weight loss come to a halt? HMMMM….

I mean for me the only thing I eat with an artifical sweetener is my one skinny cow a day- but I’m thinking maybe I have to cut that out? It’s really the only sweet I eat though. Never more than one a day and some days I don’t even eat one. I think it’s really hard to cut out pre-packaged foods though. For instance this morning I had a serving of wheat thins fiber selects with two skinny cow wedges. My lunch will be a lean cuisine and some jello, then dinner will be aus jus pork chops with baked beans and maybe corn or something. Then after that I might have a skinny cow or popcorn for a snack. I mean most of those items are pre-packaged! Does corn in a can count as prepackaged?

Oh and UG there is a babyshower tomorrow at work and I go buy huggies but find out the mom prefers pampers *sigh* so now I’m going back to the store today to switch diapers… Really she’s a first time mom- how does she know which she prefers? :p

I leave you with this cutsie picture cuz I love birds- yesterday Broc was so obessed with grooming my face and hair and if anyone else came near us she’d rear up like GET AWAY FROM ME I’M WITH MAMA! The only reference I can make to this photo is that I’ve been eating so much damn green stuff my poop is turning green again lol. :p TMI I KNOW!

Yay me- I ran again half an hour yesterday- I did find it SLIGHTLY easier My husband looks at me as I go work out at 9 pm last night and says “isn’t it too late to work out?” and I said “just call me a nonconformist.” Geez I didn’t know I couldn’t work out at 9 pm :p I already have started feeling better and more energetic- today when I woke up I was up and ready to tackle the world, I’m going to attribute that to my workouts

So my husband found a bowflex on craigslist- spent $250 of our tax money for it- and it’s been sitting there the whole time. I asked him when he’s going to start- apparently on THURSDAY. So we’ll see. I mean I plan on using it myself today- but really I’m like dude you wanted this so use it! I was just so full from dinner last night that I had to wait for a while before I felt I could work out. I think I might actually hit my goal of at least 40 stars this month Each month I want my goal to go up by 10 stars.

Today’s Menu:
Breakfast, 1 serving garden vegetable fiber selects wheat thins: 120 calories.
1 laughing cow wedge (swiss): 35 calories
Lunch: Sesame Stir Fry Chicken: 240 calories (300 calories but I didn’t like it so tossed out the rest)
Chicken salad with crackers: 230 calories
Dinner: Something with chicken and possibly some summer squash with what pasta maybe?
Snack: FiberPlus bar: 120 calories (these are so good!)

I see people post what they eat regularly, so I thought I’d share today’s menu (that and I’m bored at work):

Breakfast: 1 fiber one bar (140 calories) and 0.75 oz of cojack cheese (60 calories)
Lunch: 1 fiesta chicken lean cuisine (260 calories) and I was planning on having two tangerines but both of them were very dry so I had to throw them out and instead I had one serving of reduced fat wheat thins (130 calories).

So so far I’ve eaten 590 calories for the day.

I’m making taco’s for dinner tonight. I usually do meat (extra lean) (1.5 tbsp), lettuce, tomato, 0.25 oz cheese (guesstimate I really think it’s a lot less), small spoon of avocado, small spoon of low fat sour cream, and hot sauce. That translates to about 192 calories per taco- give or take maybe 5 calories. Okay Taco bell’s site says their supreme tacos are 200 calories per taco- those LIARS! The only difference between my taco and their’s is the avocado! BOO! I might as well just go to Taco bell for dinner tonight :p I somehow am sure my taco is STILL healthier than their’s so :p on you taco bell!

The plan today is go home- make dinner- then clean out the fridge omg it’s so gross- and then work out for at least the half hour- THEN shower and read and go to bed!

Sterling if you are out there hope all is well

Good night everyone!

Ug okay WTF was UP with this morning? I get up and do my morning ritual of going to the bathroom, washing my face, putting on my contacts. THEN I look up and there is a HUGE spider above my head! I step back like wtf is this? I’m like oh you are SO DEAD Mr. Spider above my head! I go to the kitchen and grab the spray and when I get back to my bathroom the little bugger is gone- grrr… So of course now I’m paranoid cuz there is a WHITE spider loose on the house still! So then I’m like okay shake it off and go to work. I get in my car I start driving and then BAM in my car is a freaking misquito! WTF! I pull over without managing to kill EVERYONE on the road and I open all the windows and of COURSE Mr. Misquito is like “hm I’m good here on your windshield…” I’m like For the love of Pete get out! I go to my trunk and grab a shirt and swat at it and it finally flies off. Course then I proceed to Jump into my car and roll up all the windows. Finally I’m bug free- I’m like what is this a horror movie? Starts out with 1-2 bugs and will end with? *shudders* I hate bugs!

So okay yesterday I did the first round of the C25k! WOO HOO ME! First round of running- okay not bad, then second round- phew what a workout- third round- DAMN I’m so out of shape! I did it though- half an hour and today plan on doing another half hour- I think I will continue on week 1 until I can comfortably do it without feeling like passing out- so I’m assuming 4x a week instead of 3x. Course this morning I get on the scale and my weight is up GAH! lol. I think it’s water weight and my poor choices on Sunday. I woke up in the middle of the night RIDICULOUSLY thirsty- so thirsty I almost felt sick and feverish- as soon as the water touched my lips I felt better and went back to sleep. So today got to be good on the water. Yesterday was a TERRIBLE food day- we ordered Wrestlemania on Pay Per View and I made ribs, mac and cheese, salad, and my friend brought over potato salad. So yeah- I ate um not 100% very well yesterday, BUT I budgeted those damn calories- maybe not the fat but at least the calories. I basically had one egg with two slices of toast for breakfast and one slice cheese (285 calories). Then for lunch I had 2 ribs, some potato salad, a bit of mac and cheese, then piled on the salad (baby greens with tomato and cucumber and low fat italian). Later on that evening I had some more mac and cheese for dinner, and then more potato salad. The day ended with like 1750 calories but at least I was within limit- I give myself that 1800 in case of days like this lol. But before that my average was 1600-1700 a day.

Dude so my friend who came over looks GREAT- I told her dang it’s obvious you lost weight- and SURE a TEENY bit of me is jealous but I never said a word against her- just told her she looked amazing and keep it up She encouraged me to go on nutrisystem like her- and I was like man I’d love to but because of my husband and sister it just doesn’t make sense- if I don’t cook my husband will just eat CRAP and I like to cook anyways. She was like yeah I understand. To myself I thought if I were single and living alone like her I’d do it in a heartbeat- but it just doens’t seem convenient when you still make dinner each night and I’d rather learn to cook well vs. buying packaged foods.

So here’s to hoping that this weekend I’ll be under 212 pounds! I’m going to run everyday this week since I have no class to tire the heck out of me I want to be a sexy biatch again dammit