This time it’s for real

Hey so weighed in for today- and yup I’m 213 again even though I ate like 1800 calories yesterday- so no gain but no loss- I’m happy- after all this stress maybe this week I can lose a pound or two. Isn’t it weird how the body fluctuates throughout the week?! It’s so aggravating I swear no more peeking! Did I do the 30DS? No- but I will today- yesterday a friend I hadn’t spoken to in MONTHS called and we talked for hours- so oh well. I didn’t get off the phone till 12:30 am. My husband is wonderful he didn’t complain one bit- just played his video game and occassionaly joined the conversation. Of course I told her what was up with hubby and she was totally suprised and supportive and sent good vibes our way. I got the referal for the spinal tap and so I will call on Monday morning to take care of an appointment.

Today is a freaking BUSY day, going to the store, going to send my mom a card, going to the post office, THEN the bank, and then to get a new windshield for my car, and then finally some new shoes for my feet as my old ones are ugly looking now. I’m going to buy two sets of insoles and replace the ones in my old shoes and use those for the gym solely. I mean the shoes are still HELLA comfortable, they are just started to get a bit ragged on top.

Hope you all have a great day!

Well today Michelle and Shelly were going out for lunch- and I was like I’d like to go- cuz michelle eats pretty healthy- so we went to el pollo loco and I had their mexican cesar salad (forgot to ask with no dressing but oh well 520 cal’s not bad for a salad out- I believe it’s 320 without dressing), some avocado salsa (60 calories for 2 oz), and then a chicken leg (grilled 90 calories). Trying to up that protein like I’m supposed to! I could definitely do worse eating out- and honestly it was nice to get out and talk to some people about something OUTSIDE of work! So :p Oh well still staying within 1800 calories- even with all this eating more I’m still at 1720 calories- BUT I’ve already had three glasses of water and plan to finish at least 2 more before I get home so I get in at LEAST 8 today- shooting for 10 from now on.

For dinner I am going to attempt the spicy eggplant recipe on sparkrecipes.com I hate eggplant but I probably should add it into my arsenal of vegetables (yes I fight fat with veggies!). I’m going to make that with the chicken tonight (someone suggested it with chicken sounds good to me). Dinner will also include asparagus and brown rice with that chicken- I’m thinking of making corn too but that might be a lot of food.

What happened? I have been trying so hard- granted not working out- but been trying to stay on task. I mean yesterday for dinner I had two hot dogs with salad (less than 100 cal for the salad). For condiments I put on mustard and ketchup- but that had to be better than the mayo and cheese my husband spread on his!!! I guess it’s a lot of carbs or something. But during the day I was really good! Okay well wait- it was a bunch of people’s bday and I had a small TINY TINY piece of cake- damn cake- but it was screaming at me and I wanted some! Darnit- but lunch was a lean cuisine and an orange- and dinner was the hot dogs. I did have a skinny cow ice cream- but come on- those are only 50 calories!

*sigh* I think this weekend I will re-read my PCOS diet book and really start that 30 Day Shred (DS). My sister started it she said it’s awesome- so I’ll check it out tonight and I’m going to re-evaluate my fitness goals on spark people- sometimes I wonder if I’m eating too little (less than 1500 calories a day). Even by my old trainer’s standards I should be eating more like 1600 calories a day- and I know for a fact I’ve had days where I’m closer to 1200/1300. I never go over 1500- and that must be it. Well besides not exercising…

I went online and found this:

http://www.nowloss.com/how-to-lose-50-pounds-fast-in-5-months.htm

Crunched my numbers and put in my activity level as Couch potato (I do plan on working out) and got that I should eat more like 1400-1800 calories a day. SOOO gonna try eating 1800 calories a day and eating more of this from protein and vegetables- so we’ll see GONNA DO IT GONNA DO IT! Now that we possibly know what hubby has- even though it’s MS- it’s okay, people can live with it, and I feel like a small weight has been lifted off of me and now I can re-concentrate on my life. Thanks for the support everyone!

UG I tried resetting my goals and sparkpeople erased all my weightloss stuff for this past month! OOPS! Oh well, I’m starting over anyways. Now I just have to figure out how to get MORE protein into my life. Apparently I am not eating enough :p

Oh and btw- my husband told one of his friends he probably has MS and his friend said “oh man that sucks” and Chad said “yeah but it’s okay, these things happen” and then his friend said “how long do you have left to live?” O.0 Chad was like “uh, I’m not going to die!” I’m sorry but I lost it laughing lol. :p

Ug I peeked and weighed myself this morning: 215 I haven’t really gone off plan, but the exercise hasn’t been happening either. I’m sure the stress isn’t helping one bit.

Yesterday I just wanted to spend time with my hubby so I got off class early, and lo and behold I go home and one of his friends are over! Seriously I was so pissed that to keep my mouth shut I stuffed it instead… Not good- but really I was pretty mad that his friend came over- I know my hubby probably though I wasn’t coming home till 10 and was surprised when I got home at 8:30… if his friend calls today I will tell him do not invite him over- don’t even answer the phone! This is US time. It’s like from M-W I don’t see my husband cuz I’m so busy and tired.

Taking this course twice weekly is just killing me- I mean I do eat out on those days- but I eat subway, turkey on wheat with veggies, light mayo and mustard, no salt, pepper, oil, vinegar. I will cut out mayo next. Though yesterday the girl put a ton of pickles in mine I was about to be like “oh uh can you not put so many?” lol.

For some reason when I’m done with lab I am STARVING so I still go home and eat (usually just a soup)- but if I don’t eat beforehand I suffer in that class. It’s a catch 22 I tell you!

I’ve just got to find a way to up the workouts- and it just seems like working out the days of lab just isn’t an option cuz they are exhausting days. I might just do Thursday/Friday weights at the gym, then Saturday/Sunday do some exercise video with my sister. The 30 day shred came in- maybe I’ll just do that on the weekends so that will give me 4 days of working out a week, not the best cardio but right now probably as much as I can stand to do without passing out and sleeping for 2 days solid :p One of these days I’ll get below 213.

As of right now, the neurologist believes my husband has MS, I am very scared- I won’t lie. My husband is really upset and rightly so, MS isn’t exactly a walk in the park. If you don’t know what it is, it’s basically an autoimmune disease in which your own immune system attacks your body and attacks your nervous system and destroys the myelin sheath of neurons. This can cause problems with movement and other functions. My poor husband, he’s never had more than the flu or a broken bone in his life, and now this. I don’t know how I am going to deal with this right now, food is honestly the last thing on my mind

The diagnosis has not been confirmed yet, he’s going in for a spinal tap and some other test, but if it’s confirmed the doctor said he will be on costly medications for the rest of his life (injections) and I’m also going to look into alternative medicines as well. Obviously I’ll do anything my husband needs. The doctor says he’ll be able to live a normal life, but it’s still scary.

Well talked to my husband’s doctor about his appointment- told her the neurologist wouldn’t see him till March 3rd and she agreed that was un-acceptable so she found him another neurologist and I’m taking him tomorrow morning. I’ll miss a few hours of work but I want to be there. I just pray it’s something that can be taken care of with medication or a simple procedure. Wish us luck!

I promise to let you all know what’s up as soon as we find out.

So with my analytical course- on Monday/Wednesday I’m basically putting in a 15-16 hour day. I’m up at 6 am and out of the house by 6:30 am and I don’t get home till 10:30 pm. By the time I get into bed and fall asleep it’s around 11 pm. Then today I had to get up at FIVE AM because my husband has a dentist appointment and I’m taking him at 3:30 so I’m getting off work an hour early. BLAH. So because M-W I am basically DEAD I decided that I just can’t go to the gym, I went yesterday and I am just so dead- today is probably going to be ANOTHER nap in my car because I just am so TIRED I have sleep apnea- so I’m one of those people who REALLY need their 8 hours of sleep. I do use a CPAP, but when I get less than 7 I just am exhausted.

Food- meh did okay last night- came home though and had some soup cuz I was STARVING then basically went to bed lol.

Going to the dentist today to get my fillings done- BOO! At least my teeth look a lot better than they did before.

Oh and anyone ever have a filling repaired? My sister went to her dentist and they told her one of her fillings needed to be redone- but then they want to charge $1200? WHAT! With my sister’s insurance we’d still owe $800- am I crazy thinking this is a ripoff when normally a filling is $50-$200? What is the reasoning to repair a filling costing so much? Don’t they just take out the old one and put a new one in?

So my mom called me last night from work- for those who don’t know- well I’m sure no one here knows- my mom is a linguist and is currently in the middle east somewhere (probably IRAQ currently- she’s been in Kuwait as well). Well anyways, she called me last night because her blood pressure has been high currently. It was fine up until like a week ago- but she was just transferred to a new place she was needed at- so the doctor thinks that the stress of the travel (once my mom’s convoy was ATTACKED en route and my mom was right up there with the gunner handing him the bullets!) might be it.

My mom drinks a LOT of tea- I told her she really had to cut back on that- I remember reading somewhere it can contribute to high blood pressure. It’s not good tea like green tea- but that dark middle eastern tea and she puts sugar in it- yeah not good! I told her please cut out that stuff and make sure she’s careful what she eats- unfortunately at her job it’s all cafeteria food and it’s not like she can go out and get groceries. She says she “only” drinks 2 cups a day- but knowing her that’s two huge mugs lol.

If anyone has any suggestions of stuff I can send my mom (no liquids) I’d love to hear it- she’s on medications for her blood pressure also. I’m going this weekend to send her out a bunch of stuff- so if there is anything natural I can pick up- I’d totally appreciate anything you can recommend I send her- or just tips in general.

So for me- overall still doing well- ug today I thought we were doing lab pictures but then come to find out I had the date wrong- at least I look nice today lol. And yup going to the gym today! Gonna do upper body weights today

Oh and I’m pleased to report I’ve had four days of doing awesome on my salt intake! I’ve ranged between 1800 and 2100 mg of salt per day- it hasn’t been easy, but it’s getting easier!

Oh and today is class tonight so I am totally treating myself to subway for dinner! Turkey on wheat, with low fat mayo and mustard, american cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, pickles, and olives. I might cut out cheese to help stay low on salt. Breakfast just had a fiber bar, lunch will be a yoplus fiber yogurt and a lean cuisine BBQ chicken pizza.

I leave you for now with my new ringtone:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TOSgGJvbfw

It’s totally hilarious and every mother out there will get a kick out of it

So it’s Saturday morning and I’m up at freaking 7:30 am. I had a wonderful morning with hubby My favorite way to start a weekend lol.

Got up and my little bird broccoli- AND yes that’s her name- she’s dark green like broccoli and we have named all our pets after food, Marshmellow the white hamster, cookie dough was another hamster (she had cookie dough color, and then pepper (he was white with black spots), and brownie our brown guinea pig. Well anyways if you want to know she’s a yellow undersided green cheek conure and she’s my sweet precious darling! So we got up, and course she’s ECSTATIC that mama is acknowledging her since normally I don’t when I go to work cuz then she’ll screech her head off and wake everyone. So of COURSE she screeched her brains out and wanted hugs and kisses from her mama. I swear I’ll post pics…

I played with her for like half an hour- then put her back and proceeded to make breakfast. Now the weekends I pretty much have the same breakfast because I only eat it two times a week and it’s SO GOOD. I have one slice of whole wheat toast, one slice of american cheese, and 2 eggs that are over medium. I cook the egg on one side, then fold it into a pocket and finish cooking it but leave the yolk soft. I put this all on the bread and then eat it and OMG it’s HEAVEN! All this comes in at 345 calories. Broc also had some egg, I take a small piece of egg white and break it up and then put it on a small plate in her cage- she loves her weekly egg- she eats it and chirps like “yum yum yum this is so good” lol.

So weighed in today 213.5! I mean that’s overall good- staying away from that stupid 214.5 AND I’m guessing half an hour of hard weights yesterday made me retain the TINIEST bit of water- but my new workout schedule is: MWF weights and then T/TH cardio- there I get some cardio that i hate in and get weights that I love in as well. I usually don’t go to the gym on mondays, but I figure going and doing something I want to do is more motivational than doing something I hate.

And yes two days of low salt woo! 2090 mg yesterday and 1870 the day before! I’m trying to keep it up.

Anyways have a good weekend everyone! I’m off to the store to get some veggies and fruits! I’m having dinner at a friends house tonight and bringing over a salad and some white wine- then tomorrow my MIL is having a BBQ and I’m bringing over a low cal guacamole and salad again. My MIL is making potato salad and burgers and chips- so I’m trying to bring over some healthy alternatives.

You know, thinking about the food choices I make- yesterday I almost felt SCARED of food. How sad is that? To be AFRAID of food- and you know I don’t want to get some sort of eating disorder.

So today while I went to the gym (yes I went for half an hour yay me!) and when I was driving back to work right now I thought- why not think about what food is WORTHY to go into my mouth? To be digested by my body? And it was like this epiphany came over me and I thought from now on I’m not going to think about what foods I’m missing out on- but what foods are WORTHY of going into my mouth. Fruits and veggies are worthy for sure, so are lean meats and complex carbs! DUH!!! My body is a temple dammit- it’s time to start treating it more like one!

Yesterday I ate 1550 calories and today and managed less than 1900 mg sodium! I’ve logged in what I plan to eat for the day and so far only see 900 calories- but I am sure I can add something to up those calories. Not sure what at the moment- maybe some tuna salad YUM

Oh and I blog a lot because I have a lot of free time at work :p