This time it’s for real

So today I have my yearly pap- BOO. Course when I go to the doctor it says I weigh 217- though my scale says 214.

Today is TWO girl’s bday’s at work. Now, if you know MY work- they always are having some kind of SOMETHING with goodies- I gained some weight working here cuz of that!

Well today I’m proud of me- I did walk over to the training room and wish the girls a happy bday- but I didn’t eat ANYTHING- they had all sorts of HUGE muffins- chocolate and blueberry and so on! Then they even had those crumble cakes and danishes- oh MAN it smelled good- but I didn’t have ONE bite.

I’m determined to be good and keep losing the weight!

So tomorrow is that DREADED appointment- and I weigh myself and where am I- 217 lbs! *sigh*

There is no way I’m going to lose 7 lbs unless I hit the gym for 6 hours today AND don’t eat anything and just drink tons of water and laxatives.

So today I decided, you know what, screw the doctor, it’s stressing me enough as it is to lose the weight- but then to worry about her comments? Who knows it’ll probably give me more ammo to hand her when I say that I have been dieting and working out and there doesn’t seem to be much of a shift at all. With my PCOS symptoms not changing, I want my metformin and spironolactone increased so I can probably convince her to do so- if she refuses I’m just going to switch doctors and try the doctor my coworker has (she also has PCOS).

I’m not losing weight for anyone but me- and as I read more and slowly gain small epiphany’s I see where my mistakes are and I’m learning- now if my body would figure it out I’d be all set! lol

Okay so I wasn’t perfect today- but it’s hard when you know- you are up and out the door by 6:30 and you don’t get home till NINE pm!

Today was pretty good though- I had a yogurt for breakfast: 110 calories, lentil soup for lunch, 345 cal, snack of beef jerky, 130 calories, dinner, smoked turkey and cheddar sandwhich on wheat: 370 calories, supper (I was starving after class) beef soup with cheese, 420 calories.

For a total today of: 1375 calories or a round 1400 calories! WOO HOO!

Oh and I drank at least 2-2.5 L of water today- I filled up my 700 ml bottle 3 times today and then came home and had at least 4 small glasses of water.

I think I realized my problem, I don’t lose weight so I start giving in, then I see change- but don’t keep the good habits- I just have to be persistent!

Okay I think the stress of having this class is getting to me- while I didn’t have a bad first day, I’m already tired and yesterday I was so dead I didn’t make dinner I went out and got TACO BELL. I won’t lie- it was good, but not FILLING- I felt like I was eating junk then afterward I was unhappy.

I weighed myself today 217 pounds! WTF!

I’m hoping a lot of that is water, BUT I’ve decided to REDO phase 1 of the Fat Smash- for dinner I MAY have some meat- but that’s the only time- during the day this is my plan:

All fruits and veggies
All vegetables except white potatoes and avocados
Good sources of proteins: chickpeas, Beans, Tofu, lentils
Brown rice- 2 cups per day
2 cups low fat milk a day (I definitely will do this since I hear milk helps you lose weight)
WATER WATER WATER I KNOW I’m not drinking enough..
OATMEAL- yeah if I have to I HATE that stuff
All herbs and spices
6 oz low fat yogurt (up to 2x a day)
4 egg whites per day (occassionally I might throw in a whole egg)
2 cups herbal tea (might no do this would rather just keep drinking water)

It’ll be easier to follow the no meat part anyways SINCE I won’t be home an additional 2 days a week. And the other days CHICKEN is all I’m cooking lol. Today NO MEAT for sure since I won’t be home- I made a large pot of lentil noodles for myself and brought it to work, that along with yogurt. And then for dinner I’m going to just get a salad from the grocery store or something.

Okay I can do this- I got a doctor’s appointment in TWO days- hopefully with drinking a TON of water, eating no meat, and lots of fiber I’ll lose all this water weight plus a few pounds!

Today I start an analytical chemistry class- YES you HEARD me- analytical chemistry- to help me advance in my career.

I get to go to school 2 nights a week, M and W, from 5:30 to 10 pm, then go home and basically sleep cuz I got to get up at 6 am and be at work by 7.

I’m hoping this will help me in my weight loss since I won’t be home so much.

I wasn’t too terrible last weekend but last night I went out and had chinese food and 1 drink with a friend- it was fun and I desperately needed a girl’s night out! So :p

The scale went back up to that stupid 214.5- but I know I didn’t go past my calories yesterday since I was so busy I only had a bowl of cheerios and milk (est 200 calories), then for dinner beef broccoli, some crab ragoons, a few pieces of shrimp, some egg drop soup, and a sangria margarita. I’m assuming that wasn’t more than 1300 calories- but since there was MSG I bet I have some water retention- today I’m being super healthy! Yogurt, lean cuisine, salad, and probably at the worst subway for dinner

WOOT

WOO HOO!

Went down another half pound- but today am being good- had a nice bowl of cheerios for breakfast and then I’m making more of that yummy chicken soup to eat today and to have for work.

I start a new class next week so I’ll be packing dinners as well as lunches now. Hopefully with 10 extra hours of not being at home and doing lab classes I’ll lose some more weight!

It’s funny, today I weighed myself and I don’t know what the heck happened, but now I’m 213.5! I didn’t work out yesterday- but I did eat VERY healthy- well except last night I had a HUGE glass of milk and my hubby bought me a doughnut with chocolate on top (mmmm so I caved- I was weak).

I think though before that I hadn’t even eaten 1100 calories that day- so I guess I was still good.

They do say you should drink milk to lose weight because it helps the body get rid of fat. I guess it’s true!

NOW the question is- do doughnuts help you lose weight

214.5! After that huge deficit last night the scale went down another pound- stupid scale- I hate you- I thought I could not weigh myself daily and stay on track- nope doesn’t seem to be working ARG. So now it’s back to daily weighings. I think when I lose all the weight I’m going to smash that thing to bits lol THEN buy a new one.

Hubby is taking me out to eat today- but we are going to soup plantation- all the food there is very healthy and delicious- I’m sure I’ll still eat like 1000 calories- but most of it’ll be salad, whole grain pasta, low fat soups, and so on And I’m sorry but I want a TEENY TINY bit of their nonfat dark chocolate ice cream :p And I’m going to the gym today so I am not too worried. AND I’m planning to go low cal for breakfast and lunch.

SO okay back to the topic at hand- yesterday afternoon a girl at work, one of the Criminalist TWO’s asked me to show her what supplies she needed for her DNA extractions on the EZ1. I thought that’s weird doesn’t she KNOW this?  But I went and helped her- and when I came back there was a huge valentines day basket on my chair. FULL of chocolate and a note that said:

“You’ve been smooch’d because someone thinks you’re special. Enjoy your treats! Post your “I’ve been Smooch’d” sign clearly at your cube or on your office door so everyone knows how special you are!! Now pass on that special feeling, copy or make an “I’ve been smooch’d” sign and create a treat bag for someone you think is special. Leave it at their desk to surprise them. Watch and see how the smooch’s spread!”

I think it’s sweet- and yes my coworkers seem to have a lot of free time on their hands lol. My sister asked me what I’m doing with the candy- I said giving it to her to eat and get fat lol.

So since I don’t have a lot of money I went to Target and spent $8 and got a cute gift bag, some of that cut up paper, and like 6 different candies that cost $1 each (all valentine themed) and put it together.

I’m giving it to a girl at work whose father died in a tragic accident last month I’m hoping it’ll cheer her up.

Decided to write down what I’m going to eat today and NO MORE! NO extras!

Orange 86 cal
Lean Cuisine 260 cal
Yoplait yogury 110 cal
Wheat Thins: 130 cal
Vegetable and chicken soup homemade: 323 cal (guesstimate based on healthy choice soups)
Sliced deli smoked turkey 90 cal

Total calories: 999

Working out half an hour on the treadmill: 340 calories (usually what I burn)

total intake, 999-340 exercie-1770 BMR=-1110 calories.

If that doesn’t make the scale drop I’m not sure WHAT will.

Don’t worry, I’ll eat more tomorrow- I’m trying to do another jumpstart today.