I’m proud of me today- even though yesterday I had a small bag of chips (the single servings that are like 150 calories), today I was even better!
I had my normal large orange for breakfast, then my lunch was leftovers from last night- zuccini cooked with tomato and grilled chicken with brown rice π I also had a light peach yogurt and some more fruit (I LOVE fruit).
I was a bit tired yesterday restarting, but now I’m totally fine- I fell asleep at 10, woke up at 6 ready to face the day (though I won’t lie I’m having my after lunch food coma lol).
I guess I finally realized this time- that even though I “cheated” during christmas, that doesn’t mean I have to give up for good! I won’t let that happen this time. I’m refusing to give up- the evil personality in my mind saying I can’t do it is being beaten down with that thinner version of me π It’s funny, being overweight my whole life (I swear I was BORN fat) I don’t know what I’d look like SKINNY.
You might laugh and go haha no honey you weren’t fat when you were born- but nope I was fat. I see my baby pictures and I’m like WOW I was fat! I was I beleive 8 lbs 4 ounces when I was born, my sister was like 7 lbs, my brother 9! Okay fine maybe I wasn’t fat- but as soon as I could sit up and scream forΒ a hotdog bun I was lol. My mom has these sequences of pictures of me and in one I’m reaching for something- my mouth is open, and the final picture is me eating a hotdog bun HAPPY as can be.
Do I blame my parents for being overweight? Not really, I never really though of myself as “fat” till I was in 6th grade and I was wearing size 13 jeans and my friends were wearing 5-8’s. My parents always cooked at home- and once a week we ate out somewhere like McDonald’s or something. I remember I loved Chicken nuggets. I do know I ate cuz I was bored as I got older (my parents are muslim they never let me go out). I did up until about a month ago- I now ask myself “why am I eating? Am I bored or thirsty or really hungry?” I have found by keeping myself busy that I snack less at night π
I think just having the PCOS made it so while when I was younger I wasn’t eating badly, but because we ate a lot of rice and bread and my body reacted differently than a regular person, I still was overweight. π
I’m hoping by the time I turn 27 (one year exactly) to be down to my goal weight π