Becoming a Butterfly

I FINALLY got some sleep last night!  Everyone who knows me knows that’s a miracle.  I went to sleep about 11:30 and got up at 8am.  My son wasn’t even up yet so I got some chores done first.  Made breakfast and then hubby stopped by before going out of town to say bye to us.  I hung around finding more things to fold and put away and clean and wipe, etc.  I couldn’t hold out any longer….I went to the gym.  It’s that fun time of the month so I was very crampy and not feeling so hot today, popped some ibuproferen and got to work.  I did 30 minutes on the treadmill (8 of those running at 6.0) and then did 35 on the bike.  It wasn’t my normal bike - this one kind of is like sitting in a chair and your legs go out in front of you (I normally do one that’s like a real bike and your legs are down).  I couldn’t go near as fast on this bike but I took my book today and got to read while I did it.  It seemed so much harder on my thighs.  I then did 20 min of weights.  HRM said I burned 1119 calories.  I planned on just walking and not much else to burn about 500 - so this was a plus that I did more.  And man I tell you, I felt so much better afterward.  Came home - did the lunch thing.  I normally eat a lean cuisine every day.  I think they are the best tasting diet frozen entrees - Lord knows I’ve tried them all!  Showered and ran errands.  Took the kiddo for a haircut, went to Sams, Walmart, and gro store.  I bought a few different 100 cal packs of snacks for the plane trip on Friday. 

While turning into the gro store, someone pulled out in front of me and the person to my left got CLOBBERED!  Poor lady.  Guess the guy was only paying attention to me.  I’m driving an SUV and she was in an iddy biddy KIA.  I hung around to call 911 and to make sure she had my info in case she needed a witness for insurance.  Then we went into the gro store.  I felt so bad for her.  A kid that just got his license hit us about 2 years ago on the busiest road in town.  I saw it coming too.  I veered as far as i could without getting hit by oncoming traffic, but car was still not drivable.  It was the worst month ever.  Its just a hassle that no one needs.  But thanking God a million times it wasn’t ME!!!

Had rottisserie chicken and a scoop of mashed potatoes for dinner.  It was sooo good but I can tell I’ll still be hungry in a little bit.  I will make good choices, I will make good choices! 

I was wondering if anyone could give me some good advice on weightloss books and fitness dvds.  What’s worth buying?  As far as book goes, I want knowledge about nutrition and ideas on how to mix it up to max my potential.  I dont really do calorie counting - I check lables that’s about it.  How much protein do I need a day?  Things like that.  Fitness - I live in a pier and beam house so nothing that will rattle windows and that will keep me entertained.  So many of you seem to love DVDs!  I used to have the old buns of steel you know from back in the 90s, but that’s long gone I’m sure.  Anyways….advice is always nice!!

Gonna relax for a few minutes and then find something to keep me busy so I dont go to sleep!  Good luck and keep CHUGGIN ALONG!

7:45 pm

I put on a pair of jeans I always wear (I think they were freshly washed tho) and they were so tight today but I ran errands in them anyway.  I was so uncomfy.  So, I was curious if I gained some water weight today (plus I just ate dinner).  But, I went and weighed anyway.  Same as yesterday!  Pfew!

Today started at 1:30 am to the smell of something burning.  My hubby was on the couch again (if he could quit that darn snoring!) and I went out there first to see where the smell was coming from.  He said “what’s that smell?”  So I’m freaking out running around checking all the outlets to see if there’s a fire.  We realize the terrible smell is the AC unit.  Piece of crap!  There’s water all in it leaking from the copper tubing.  So, hubby gets out the shop vac and is cleaning it all out for about an hour.  Meanwhile, I’m laying in bed watching him so I’m not in the way (only got 2 hrs of sleep the night before) nearly passing out which is very unlike me.  I think the fumes really got to me.  It was so strange and then I was nauseated on top of it all.  Well, we slept without AC.  Luckily we have a window unit in the bedroom and it was in the 60s last night so it wasn’t too bad.  As soon as hubby got out of physical therapy he called father in law (who he was really cursing in the middle of the night and was gonna let him have it) and he said he was out of town so he called his mother (we live in her old house and she’s still the technical owner).  Apparently he wasn’t out of town yet and came over with a few guys to work on it.  Well turns out he got it drained but the motor burned out now.  So he had to go get a new one and get it put in.  I’m packing my suitcases for our trip this weekend the whole time and the house looks like a tornado hit.  Oh well, it got done and it’s cool in our house.  Hubby bitched to his mom this weekend about how long it took to get the pc board put in last week and I was shocked he showed up at all cos she’s a blabber mouth.

Anyway after all that and a bunch of housework - I made it to the gym!!!  My right hip was pretty sore today from working out yesterday, but I did my best to push thru.  I did my walking with running intervals for a total of 30 min with 7 of that being ran at 6.0-6.1.  I then did the elliptical for 15 minutes.  I was really lagging on that and didn’t really realize how much until this man probably in his 70s did TEN LEVELS HIGHER than me and at a much faster pace.  But that machine was really killing my hip.  Then I went to the trusty ole bike and did 35 min.  Heart rate monitor said I burned 1287 calories.  Didn’t do any weights today since I did so much yesterday. 

Came home and we had lunch.  I sat on the porch and read for a while.  Weather has been cooler with little spurts (brief) of showers.  Meanwhile it was just one of those weird moments where you feel the weirdness in the air.  There were like 5 times the normal birds in the yard and this weird car driving up and down the street that turned out to be an unmarked detective trying to find someone - was totally freaked out.  A cop showed up and when the neighbor across the street showed up they sped in and got him out of the car and handcuffed him.  It was like a movie going down right in front of me.  They went in the house and apparently wound up arresting someone else and letting the other guy go free.  It was so strange. 

I came in and finally showered.  Went to tan, grocery store, and to get gas.  Came home, made dinner and hubby got home from work and we ate.  He had a hard day so I made him what he asked for.  He just said he was hungry again and he normally eats really crappy and I said I’d like a snack too.  He said well I got myself watermelon is that what you want?  NOPE.  I really want that marshmallow popcorn you can make in the microwave, but I’ll settle for watermelon!  Yay me.  Also this afternoon my son wanted cinnamon toast.  oh man that was harddd for me to not make a piece for myself, but I didn’t.  2 good choices…that’s good enough for me! 

We are leaving for North Dakota (where my mom’s from and my Dad wanted his ashes spread) on Friday.  Our flight is at 6am.  I am not really a morning person (even though I get up at least by 8 or 9) and I’m also a very anxious person.  So, I was telling my sis I might as well not go to bed Thursday night.  I go to bed late normally and rarely sleep more than 4 hours.  But I’ll be so excited I doubt I’ll be able to sleep anyway.  Maybe I can take a big nap Thursday afternoon or something.  I dont know we’ll have to see how it goes and I’ve got to get so much done before then.  I’m so excited to show my hubby and son where I spent lots of time as a child.  I know it’s not like Florida or New York, but it’s definitely a special place to us.  The air is even different there and it’s always so clean. 

I weighed on the Wii Fit today.  This morning I was 220.  I normally weigh in the late afternoon.  Luckily I reweighed and I was 218.9.  YAY!  It’s going to be that time of the month this week so that sucks, but I’m going to keep on track and try to watch my salt in take and hopefully it wont be so bad.

Gonna go spend time with hubby and when he goes to sleep I’ll read some blogs and try to read in my book so hopefully I can finish it before the trip.  Hope you guys are off to a good start for the week!

Seems like it’s been the longest weekend ever.  Haven’t been very good with my eating and I can really feel it.  I physically feel lousy and heavy.  You know when you just feel HEAVY?!

Friday morning my hubby was a little on the jerky side.  He broke his foot in 3 places (doing a back flip on a trampoline with others on it) and started physical therapy that day.  I had planned to go with him to do his paper work and see what all they do for him.  But he got mad and said I baby him and so I didn’t go.  I went to the gym instead.  I ran/walk, did elliptical, and bike.  I tried some new machine bc some old lady was doing it.  Well…whatever kinda machine you call it…I made it 2 min and 30 seconds!  It damn near killed me.  That’s when I got off and did the bike…trust ole bike.  I didn’t stay too long because the physical therapy place is 2 doors down from the gym and I could see my husband was still there and didn’t want kiddo waiting around too long, so went home and showered, etc.  He was at that stinkin appt for 2hr15min.  I went and got a pedicure and we had lunch.  I stupidly ordered fish and chips and it was terrible.  It was heavily battered and I peeled it all off.  I know that’s probably still not good, and I was pretty unhappy about my choice.  So…when we got home I went and did another 50 minutes (did 45 in the morn) of cardio at the gym.  Had cream of wheat and watermelon for dinner.  (And some of my hubby’s nachos - just chips he melted cheese on.) 

Saturday we did yard work in the 96 degree weather at 10 am.  Father in law was supposed to come fix the AC AGAIN and hadn’t showed up so we packed up and headed for the pool.  Picked up Subway for lunch.  We belong to a pool that’s private, but not really like a country club.  Has a big pool with 3 slides, kiddie pool and play ground.  We were the only ones there besides the lifeguard for the first hour.  Then 2 families and 2 teenage girls showed up.  So, basically pretty quiet.  I stayed in the pool and swam and walked around that whole time.  Then I felt pretty red and got out.  We stayed over 3 hours and got fried.  (dont look too bad today though).  We went to Baskin Robbins for ice cream afterward.  Then Mother in law called and wanted to come to the house.  All she ever wants to do with us is go out to eat (we’re tired of it honestly) and so that’s what we did.  I didn’t eat a much but I was miserably stuffed the whole night afterwards.  I still feel icky today!  Came home and watched Madea goes to jail…I thought it was funny.

I couldnt’ sleep at all last night so I maybe got 2 hours of sleep.  At about 11 I couldn’t take anymore doing nothing so I said I was going to work out even though I didn’t want to.  Hubby said that sounded kinda good so he was going too.  When he goes it’s about a 10 minute workout of weights and he’s done and ready to go home.  I told him he could take the car home and I’d walk.  We did about 30-45 minutes of weights and then got on the treadmill.  He got on the one next to me and started out slow.  He’s only been out of his walking boot for about a week and is still pretty fragile.  I tried doing some running but my breathing was so shallow I just couldn’t catch a breath.  So I only did 15 minutes on the treadmill and then went to the bike for 35.  My heart rate monitor said I burned 715 calories during my cardio workout.  Hubby did treadmill for a long time and then came to do the bike next to me till I got done.  It was such a hard workout today..worse than the first one I did when I first went to the gym.  I have never done weights first…could that be it? 

Came home and showered and we’ve been watching Inkheart.  It’s sooooo slow moving.  So I figured I’d be doing this and catching up.  Anyway…I still feel terribly bloated and heavy.  Gonna cut way back on my food and try to clean myself out!  Now we are waiting on MIL to come over again.  She always waits to want to see us until Sunday evening.  We are such home bodies most of the time it irritates the fire out of us that she doesn’t call until late in the day and want to come over when we thought we’d escaped her for the day!!!  We are mean but this woman is a piece of work I tell you. One of the most negative people I’ve ever known in my ENTIRE LIFE!  I cant stand it. 

Oh well I better go put something on besides pjs and start doing some packing or something!

Today was better for the most part.  Had a very fun dentist appointment.  The Doc was even laughing cos my lip was sooo fat when he got done injecting me.  It’s nearly 12 hours later and my nose is still numb but now everythings hurting Took some ibuproferen - I’ll live.

Ran some errands and went to rent “Confessions of a Shopaholic” but it was out.  I read the book this last year (wasn’t very good I thought but totally up my alley).  So, we got Inkheart and Madea Goes to Jail.  Should be good ones. 

Found out hubby was getting home about 4 hours early from out of town, so I was thrilled bc I knew I could get a good work out in if he was home to watch the kiddo.  I also took an hour nap this afternoon!  Woo hoo!

I went to the gym a litlle after 4pm and did 80 minutes of cardio.  32 on treadmill alternating walking and running, 17 min on elliptical, and bike for 31.  Then I did over 30 minutes of weight training.  Meanwhile my hubby has called Father in law to find out if he’s coming to work on the AC (like he told me yesterday because I didn’t answer the phone immediately) and he’s now not coming until Saturday morning.  So I’ve waited around 2 days for him and my hubby waited around this afternoon.  He was PISSED.  Finally, he knows how I feel.  Annoying A-HOLE.  Meanwhile, hubby started dinner (which he rarely ever does) but I just picked up some turkey meat and son picked out a hamb. helper (which we only have about 3 times a year) but I figured it would be something my hubby would be brave enough to attempt.  Plus..he got to use my new red Paula Dean pots and pans I got last weekend! 

Now we are just relaxing and I let him  have control of the remote…which never happens! 

We are going on vacation to North Dakota (my mom is from there) on the 3rd.  So, that’s been pushing me to do my best at the gym and trying hard with food.  You never wanna go see family that you haven’t seen in years not looking good.  Oh well..doing my best and that’s all I can do!

Hope everyone’s sticking to their plans and making progress!

Today’s been another one of “those days.”  I have a lot of GI problems (I inherited from my father).  I had a salad for dinner last night and then was having stomach/intestinal pains till 5am.  So at 5 I finally went to sleep and had to get up about 9 to make my son breakfast.  He’s really good about me saying I was sick and letting me rest.  I tried to go nap but didn’t work.  So at about 11 I ate breakfast and then went to try to take another nap.  I got in about an hour and got up. 

Didn’t feel like going to the gym, so I just did the elliptical at the house for 45 minutes and 15 min on the Wii Fit.  I intended on doing longer, but Father in law called (in mid hula hoop session on wii fit) so as soon as I got done I called him back.  He proceeded to tell me “well 10 minutes ago when I called I had time to come over and work on your AC but now I dont.  It will have to be another day.” JERK.  He’s a major alcoholic so I was standing between him and his 4:30 beer.  (This is my husbands stepdad.  His real father was estranged and passed away in 2003.)  So, I was pissed off and called my mother to vent. 

Now I’m sitting here regretting not doing more,  but oh well it’s been a long freakin day!  I have a dentist appt in the morning and numbing will be involved.  So, I’m hoping I’ll feel well enough afterward to at least workout at home so my fat lips dont scare anyone.  Then I’ll have to wait my happy butt around the house just in case Father in law calls to come work on AC (which he has it rigged that the fan will run 24/7 right now to pump out the air - yay for my electric bill - but he’s not paying it so who cares, right?!)  BITTER CITY! 

Thank goodness my son has been so great for me today.  Husband on the other hand irked me - I called to complain and unload to him and he was basically too busy to listen.  MEN! 

I haven’t written about this yet - my motivation.  My Dad passed away from a massive heart attack in March (on the morning of his 62nd birthday).  He had congestive heart failure.  He wasn’t fat or unfit his entire life.  He was a smoker and born with lots of heart issues and lung problems.  He was misdiagnosed for many months in 2000.  They told him he had Esophageal(sp?) Reflux Disease when he was actually having mild heart attacks.  His heart turned out to be backwards and they were misreading it because it looked normal from the way they were viewing it.  Anyway….He had written in a prayer journal for a period of time.  When we went thru a few things of his my sister found it and read a few things to me but didn’t want to show it to me.  I caught a glimpse over her shoulder and it was because on his list was always my weight.  At first it kind of hurt my feelings, but I finally realized he just wanted me to be happy and healthy.  I’m trying my darndest to work my butt off to make him proud of me.  For the longest time when workouts get really tough I say out loud “i can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me.”  I have to repeat it many times before it starts to work, but it does.  I’m no holy rolling Christian.  I’m a true believer and have really had to pull strength from that the last 3.5 months. 

Anyway….all I can do is keep trying and do what I can, when I can.  I’ve really got to pick myself up outta this crappy mood and move on!  Cross your fingers for a better tomorrow.  UGH!

Well….I had a feeling today was going to be a long one, but I went to the gym shortly after breakfast.  My son was in rare form today.  I used my pissedoffness to fuel me though.  I read a thing in Prevention magazine about how to become a runner.  At this point in the game, that’s not really my goal.  My goal is to boost my calorie burn and eventually be able to run longer than a few minutes at a time….Anyway….You walk for 3 min then run for 1.  So I’ve sorta been doing that, sometimes I run a little longer and walk a little longer.  So, basically I’m not following that plan!  But I’m really sweaty when I get done!  I’ve been having trouble walking on the treadmill for long periods of time bc my calves hurt and sometimes cramp.  So I’ve only been doing 15-20 minutes and then going to the bike for a while.  I did 22 min of walking/running and then 38 on the bike killing myself.  My son was beyond ready to go, so no weight training. 

We came home to pack a lunch and then went to the pool for a few hours.  I didn’t do any swimming bc there were so many kids today.  Not really of fan of being splashed in the face, would rather put my whole face in!

We got home and I realized it was super hot in the house (it was about 95 here in TX today).  I called my electrician (father in law) who hates to do things for us.  (My hubby works out of town).  But I smothered him with kindness and he got it rigged up so that it will keep us cool at least till the parts come in.  It’s just been one of those days.  My laptop has decided to pick on me too!  It will crash and say there’s no hard disk drive.  I restart and sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn’t.  I have this nack with electronics…I will complain to my hubby and as soon as he gets home he goes to fix it and nothing is magically wrong so I look like a LOON!

I planned on doing abs or the Wii Active this afternoon after the pool, but that didn’t happen.  I have been only weighing on the Wii Fit so didn’t get around to that either…probably ok. 

I’m wore out - stress and sun I guess.  Plus I was up past 2 am reading blogs on here (this place is my new addiction).  Thanks for the comments today and yesterday.  When women can support eachother there’s nothing better!

Would like tips about how to drop more weight.  I’m working out nearly every day and eating pretty well.  I think maybe I dont eat enough…dunno.  Quit drinking anything other than water for the most part.  Ideas?

Thanks!  Lynde

Hi, I’m Lynde and I’m 27 years old.  I’ve been married nearly 8 and have a 5 year old son.  I found this website just randomly searching weight loss blogs on Google.  I started reading some of the blogs and became addicted.  I wanted to post a comment and realized I had to sign up, figured I could try blogging - we’ll see how it goes!

Backstory….I’ve been overweight since age 4.  I became a workout fanatic with a friend in high school and basically anorexic and went from 213 pounds to about 145 within the school year.  I got back up to about 185 before my freshman year of college.  I was so active my freshman year I lost about 30 pounds walking everywhere and never getting a real meal.  I met my husband and we were married that summer.  I steadily gained weight being so comfortable.  I had my son in 2003 and the day he was born I weighed 225 pounds.  I’ve been heavy ever since.  We’ve lived in a new town for about 4 years now and I just missed my family (they are now 10 hrs away).  I jumped up to 235 pounds.  My son started kindergarten this last year and I was very active at the school and met lots of new people which just made me feel so much better about myself and who I am.  A couple of the ladies invited me to go to the gym with them near the end of school (they’d invited me before, but I always said no because they are all very fit and skinny minnies), but I made the choice to say YES.  (My hubby and I had just seen Yes Man with Jim Carey and I realized I needed to say yes more bc I beat myself out of so much.)  Since then I joined that gym, bought a Wii Fit and Wii Active.  I haven’t lost much weight, but I work out lots and have cut my portions down.  I rarely drink soda anymore.  When I started the Wii Fit I was 225.1 and as of yesterday I was 219.8.  My husband has seen me getting down on myself a lot lately so he’s really picked up on telling me how proud he is of me and how hard I’m working. 

Yesterday was my first time to get to go to the gym without a time limit.  I have to take my son with me most days and they dont have a daycare, so I try not to stay longer than 45-60 minutes because he can only stand so much.  But yesterday was Father’s Day and my hubby just wanted to relax and said for me to go to the gym if I wanted.  I did 64 min of cardio and 30 min of weight training.  It was so wonderful to get to do what I wanted for as long as I wanted and not feel an ounce of guilt.  Then I got home and did 20 min on the Wii Fit - just balance games.  Wii Fit is really fun if you’ve never done it.  I also got Wii Active and after the first time I did it (of course I did HARD level) I couldn’t walk without being in terrible pain for TWO days!  The whole time I was doing it I was yelling at the girl trainer because I hate to be told things like “you are too slow” or “we need to work on your leg strength.”  I was so mad when I was done!  My husband thought it was just hilarious!

BTW…I did NOTHING today but housework, but I’ll get to the gym tomorrow!

Gonna go comment now like I originally started out to do!

Thanks!

Lynde