Changing My Life at 40

Well everything in my life was turned upside down by one phone call yesterday.  I was notified that my son needs to be tested to rule in or rule out autism.  I wasn’t expecting that.  We have been working with his preschool teacher because she noticed somethings about him and had the Intermediate Unit do an observation at school.  She said she thought they’d say he needed some Occupational Therapy to deal with some sensory issues and that was about it.

I’m familiar with autism, my stepson is autistic and when I compare my son to him I don’t see where he could be considered autistic at all.  I know there’s different levels of autism and one autistic kid is not the same as another but still I don’t see my son having autistic traits.  Maybe I’m in denial and just not admitting to myself that there is something there but my husband doesn’t see it either and my sister thinks they’re crazy.  But I’ll we’ll follow it through and do whatever we need to so he gets whatever he needs.

One thing I have to remember is that it could be worse, a little girl from his class last year is battling leukemia.

So with all the stress I’m feeling I’m trying not to turn to food as comfort which is what I do when I’m stressed or depressed.  I’m trying to keep busy so I don’t have too much time to think about everything and so I don’t start eating everything in sight but it’s a tough battle.  I want to sit down with a big bag of Hershey Kisses and eat every one of them in hopes it will make me feel better even though I know it won’t.  The problem won’t go away because I ate a bag of candy and it will just undo everything I’ve worked for.

If anyone reads this could you please keep my son in your thoughts and prayers that everything goes okay with the testing.  Unfortunately it’s going to be a long road, we probably won’t know until at least March.

Now I’m going to go snuggle with my baby boy and just tell him how much I love him.

Filed under: General on January 24th, 2009