strange days
So yesterday I had a bright idea that while making such mental efforts I should also be making some physical efforts to keep myself invigorated…
I decided to scrub that tub.
In my zeal to have my tub as white as my index cards, I was reaching for the bleach spray for the 3rd time (decided a three time scrubbing would do it) when I found myself in a twisted awkward position.
*POP!!!*
I froze, feels like something popped out and it was excruciating. I stood there for what seemed like an eternity.
I started sweating without moving a muscle - God forbid, I be discovered passed out on bleach fumes clad only in my underwear with blue fuzzy socks and those yellow elbow length rubber gloves.
After a while, I was able to move - hurts like hell.
Needless to say, last night was a real joy.
So this morning, I limp out to the car not knowing what time my medical appointment was but clutching those goddamn MRI films - determined yet again to be done with this before 11 so I can study for the rest of the day.
Getting in and out of the car was real fun, but I was thrilled to find a parking space.
After being told I was a day early (yeah, and a dollar short), I limped back out to the street.
Within minutes, I tripped and landed face down in the hospital driveway!
!!!Good grief!!!!
Skinned knees, beet red chafed peeling palms, but luckily I managed to spare my face.
WTF?!
!!!!!!OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!
Back into the car, wanting to cry and drove straight to the VA to get that goddamn TB test read. God forbid I fuck that up too today.
What a goddamn strange chain of events.
Needless to say, I am SOOOOO grateful to be back in my fuzzy socks
on a
carpet.
Posted by anngirl on May 24th, 2010 under General | 2 Comments »…..argh…almost there…
cramming
stuff into
the wee brain is
taxing
but
it
MUST
be
done.
3 more
days left
of this
joy
Posted by anngirl on May 24th, 2010 under General | Comment now »damn it - is the end in sight?
It’s been a bramble of haphazard studying and while I had a
swell time visiting Mama in Alabama - I can’t say I’m any more confident on the material then I was when I left last Tuesday. Oh well, I did enjoy being with her so to hell with it.
The text is next Thursday.
Mind you only part 1 of a 2 part test for this licensure - but a very important milestone in the life of a social worker.
Yesterday was a fog of rushing around at work and the unsurprising news of yet another colleague down from ’stress leave’. The ranks are getting smaller while the work is piling up.
Also a mixture of guilt as I am following the VA’s lead of getting a physical and fingerprinting before they’ll even discuss salary - knowing that if things go right I’ll also be leaving a gap at work which will not be filled but spread amongst an already skeleton crew….
Too much going on.
Eating has been horrid at best and while there is a strong desire to rectify this asap, there’s also an understanding that at this moment - it’s survival at least until next Thursday.
Perhaps that green salad will suddenly appear much more satisfying than a rash of fried rice.
One battle at a time.
As failure is not an option, one must plow on.
Posted by anngirl on May 20th, 2010 under General | 2 Comments »xoxoxo
Dear Mom,
I love you.
I remember when you made me a dandelion bracelet when I was so very young, that sunny day we sat in the park with my baby brother in the carriage. I wore that bracelet until the flowers shriveled and fell off.
I’ve never seen you run in my life because after the accident 6 months after I was born, you could barely walk. But sometimes, I see you in my dreams, you are young and laughing as you run in a green field full of flowers. My lips all salty from crying because I am so happy for you.
Now you’re older and the thought of you not being around squeezes my chest until it hurts.
I will continue to tell you how much you mean to me up until the very end.
I am because of you.
Thank you for loving me, because without you - I don’t think I would have made it in this world.
I love you Mommy with all of my heart.
Today and everyday of my life.
Posted by anngirl on May 10th, 2010 under General | 4 Comments »| M | T | W | T | F | S | S |
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