pondering

So the job has been going really well - the boss (big crush but he’s gay :( - sad for me but great for the lucky fella) has given me some greater responsibilities which thrill me to no end.  While it’s a bit of a catch up on the paperwork that seems to be constant in every job - it’s a good busy.  I am happy there - I feel good about the work I’m doing and I feel unusually ambitious.  In fact I’m thinking of getting a substance abuse certificate (4 grand ) to solidify my climb up the latter.  It’s a weekend endeavor which will take about 2 years maybe and it’s ridiculously expensive but I’m seriously contemplating doing it.   My crushes have dropped off at work with the realization that one can easily slide into ‘heat’ when surrounded by some men folk.  It’s all good though because it was a good run which entertained me - and that’s always a good thing :)

Now on the personal front - I’ve put in an offer for a short sale condo nearby.  This should be interesting…I should know within a month hopefully.  The place did smell like mold - so I’m hoping that it’ll pass inspection with very minimal issues.  It’s a two bedroom/two bath with it’s own washer and dryer in the unit!  It ain’t much but it would be mine and the bank’s… :)  I figure the carpet needs to be ripped up and hardwoods put in along with new paint as well as a thorough cleaning in the bathrooms ;(  But I’ll start trying to save up more money….

Now, the weight front.  Today I think I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m just fat - no it’s not the stress of the horrible job that made me plump - I’m a big girl.  No job is to blame.  No stress level - despite what I originally thought.  I eat lousy - I get fat.  I stay fat.

Hmm.  Not an easy conclusion to come to by any means.

But it’s honest.  After all it’s been a month now of a completely different work life and I have not lost a goddamn pound.  I am still ravenous at times, still eating some bullshit and still very lethargic on the weight loss front.

It’s rather depressing actually because how easy would that have been to drop weight because my stress level has dropped by over 80%?  Nah.  No such dumb luck.  It’s up to me to do something… I was doing ok for a minute but then quickly slipped into old patterns which have always yielded disasterous results.

Shucks.

No quick fix here.

Back to square one and while I’m continuing to fantasize about life in a pair of size 12s…

I have to grasp the reality that while I’m fantasizing - life is passing me by.

How many times have I been down this path?

Over, over over over again.

Yes.

I should get off the pity pot.

Someone else needs a turn.

Posted by anngirl on August 30th, 2010 under General



3 Responses to “pondering”

  1. mrssparklingpersonality Says:

    It is hard to remove one’s rear end from the pity potty…. I think I’ll stay on mine a bit longer, lol…

  2. Bobbie Says:

    Oh My Sweet Pea! I don’t need to blog because you wrote EXACTLY what I am feeling about with my weight and my PROGRESS or lack of. WTF!!! We can do it - can’t we? xoxoxo

  3. Bobbie Says:

    I’m back are you?

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