Wow, feels strange to be here again A good strange though…
Lots of changes since 6/24 - I’ve managed to pass my licensing exam and I am now a Licensed Clinical Social Worker! Whoooo Hooooo!
I am happy to say that I managed to do it all on my first try and I kamikaze’d it on the week I had off as I transitioned to a new job with the Veterans Administration that started last Monday
It’s all a goddamn blur. I killed myself for two weeks getting together 30 files for transfer, seeing 27 kids in like a week (believe me - it wasn’t pretty) and working until midnight every night that started at 7am. It was insane.
And then, just like that - poof! It was over and I sat there on Sunday bewildered - utterly exhausted. Then on Monday I began cramming for the second half of that goddamn killer exam.
By Thursday afternoon at 2:45pm - I wept tears of joy as I sat in my car staring at the application for the license. It was surreal. I collapsed on Thursday night until Sunday night and then started that new job on Monday 7/19.
I’m still pinching myself.
What the hell happened? I went from just thinking about the VA to it actually materializing….it’s just amazing. Absolutely amazing. I didn’t even plan it - really - it was a goddamn fluke.
Guess this is where I’m supposed to be for now.
Now that I passed the exam I can move onto getting a new place to live I wanted a 2 bedroom to start out with my plans of beginning to go through the process of adoption. Wow.
What - out of my studio and into some goddamn SPACE?
Damn, what next? I get LAID and actually have a goddamn orgasm for the first time in 42 years?
Ok, ok - let’s not get carried away….
But damn - doesn’t it seem goddamn possible?
After all, I now have my OWN OFFICE? This from a 4 man cubicle! My hours are 8-4:30! I actually LEAVE at 4:30?!!!! WHAT NO MORE MIDNIGHTS?!!! NO MORE RESIDUE from SAD SAD SAD cases of child abuse?
Wow?! I sat there today and literally pinched myself to see if this was real?!
WHAT THE HELL?!
Meanwhile, I am told that I deserve this from all of my friends and colleagues. I had people I never met come up to me and shake my hand to congratulate me for getting out of there! It was amazing.
I still don’t think I’ve processed this at all as things went by so quickly and my studio is still a shambles from the whirlwind of insanity.
Now the new joint has only 1 other ‘fat girl’ there in the ranks. I’d like to see this change.
I stepped on the scale this Saturday and found myself at 210. VERY VERY high there - but no surprises. Today I laid off the sugar water (various sugary drinks), ate an apple and had only one bowl of soup - not 3. I also walked with my dear friend for 1 hour and 1/2 around the city and boy was I treated to some wonderful victorians in the rich parts of the hood. Now this was living!
I have to say, it was pretty great. I am now wearing a size 18 pant and this is no no no good! So, I am going to begin to clear out the brambles on the path to health. What’s even more interesting is that there are a few gentlemen at the watering hole that are attractive and appealing. Now whether they are available is irrelevant because I can be inspired without it going anywhere. The last thing I want to do is shit where I eat
But it’s all rather exciting!
Wouldn’t it be swell if my size 16’s would be loose by my 43rd birthday this year? October 30th?
This could very well be a reality!!!! I actually walked around during lunch today to browse the new neighborhood Even sauntering is better than nothing! I wasn’t starving today as I was so preoccupied with being new on the job.
I came home and limited myself to one bowl of soup which is unheard of…I even fought off the urge after an hour to eat another bowl.
Now that’s goddamn progress in short order
As always, part of recovery is to get back on the blog and be honest about what’s going on - my hopes, my dreams and my failures.
But it’s all so surreal right now
But that’s actually a pretty goddamn good thingPosted by anngirl on July 27th, 2010 under General
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