Wow, feels strange to be here again 🙂 A good strange though…
Lots of changes since 6/24 – I’ve managed to pass my licensing exam and I am now a Licensed Clinical Social Worker! Whoooo Hooooo!
I am happy to say that I managed to do it all on my first try and I kamikaze’d it on the week I had off as I transitioned to a new job with the Veterans Administration that started last Monday 🙂
It’s all a goddamn blur. I killed myself for two weeks getting together 30 files for transfer, seeing 27 kids in like a week (believe me – it wasn’t pretty) and working until midnight every night that started at 7am. It was insane.
And then, just like that – poof! It was over and I sat there on Sunday bewildered – utterly exhausted. Then on Monday I began cramming for the second half of that goddamn killer exam.
By Thursday afternoon at 2:45pm – I wept tears of joy as I sat in my car staring at the application for the license. It was surreal. I collapsed on Thursday night until Sunday night and then started that new job on Monday 7/19.
I’m still pinching myself.
What the hell happened? I went from just thinking about the VA to it actually materializing….it’s just amazing. Absolutely amazing. I didn’t even plan it – really – it was a goddamn fluke.
Guess this is where I’m supposed to be for now. 🙂
Now that I passed the exam I can move onto getting a new place to live 🙂 I wanted a 2 bedroom to start out with my plans of beginning to go through the process of adoption. Wow.
What – out of my studio and into some goddamn SPACE?
Damn, what next? I get LAID and actually have a goddamn orgasm for the first time in 42 years?
Ok, ok – let’s not get carried away….
But damn – doesn’t it seem goddamn possible?
After all, I now have my OWN OFFICE? This from a 4 man cubicle! My hours are 8-4:30! I actually LEAVE at 4:30?!!!! WHAT NO MORE MIDNIGHTS?!!! NO MORE RESIDUE from SAD SAD SAD cases of child abuse?
Wow?! I sat there today and literally pinched myself to see if this was real?!
WHAT THE HELL?!
Meanwhile, I am told that I deserve this from all of my friends and colleagues. I had people I never met come up to me and shake my hand to congratulate me for getting out of there! It was amazing.
I still don’t think I’ve processed this at all as things went by so quickly and my studio is still a shambles from the whirlwind of insanity.
Now the new joint has only 1 other ‘fat girl’ there in the ranks. I’d like to see this change.
I stepped on the scale this Saturday and found myself at 210. VERY VERY high there – but no surprises. Today I laid off the sugar water (various sugary drinks), ate an apple and had only one bowl of soup – not 3. I also walked with my dear friend for 1 hour and 1/2 around the city and boy was I treated to some wonderful victorians in the rich parts of the hood. Now this was living!
I have to say, it was pretty great. I am now wearing a size 18 pant and this is no no no good! So, I am going to begin to clear out the brambles on the path to health. What’s even more interesting is that there are a few gentlemen at the watering hole that are attractive and appealing. Now whether they are available is irrelevant because I can be inspired without it going anywhere. 🙂 The last thing I want to do is shit where I eat 🙂
But it’s all rather exciting!
Wouldn’t it be swell if my size 16’s would be loose by my 43rd birthday this year? 🙂 October 30th?
This could very well be a reality!!!! I actually walked around during lunch today to browse the new neighborhood 🙂 Even sauntering is better than nothing! I wasn’t starving today as I was so preoccupied with being new on the job. 😉
I came home and limited myself to one bowl of soup which is unheard of…I even fought off the urge after an hour to eat another bowl. 🙂
Now that’s goddamn progress in short order 🙂
As always, part of recovery is to get back on the blog and be honest about what’s going on – my hopes, my dreams and my failures.
But it’s all so surreal right now 🙂
But that’s actually a pretty goddamn good thing 🙂Posted by anngirl on July 27th, 2010 under General
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