! trANNsformation BaBy !

Friday was a bright sunny day, much like Saturday and today - Sunday.

I haven’t moved a muscle, no exercise.

I’ve eaten badly.

Seems as if though my little lifesaver (Sam-E) has a leak in it and I’ve spent most of the weekend underwater.

‘Well what are you depressed about exactly?!’ says Shopaholic when she called me yesterday to tell me of a furniture sale.

‘Is it like you said last week - about if you get a house that you will be trapped in this job?!’

‘Nope.’

‘Well WHAT is it then?’

‘Nothing. I can’t put my finger on what it is exactly - so it’s everything and nothing at the same time.  What are you doing today?’

While she was letting me know about a dinner birthday party and time with her nephew - all I could think about is escaping this life.

We met at the furniture warehouse and looked around - a few minutes later we were both leaving.

Nothing else was said about anything sordid on such a bright and sunny day.

Wow - I was hoping to see something a bit lower considering I’ve been keeping up on the exercise and feeling better about my food intake.

But fuck, 8 trillion pounds doesn’t disappear in a week or two.

Oh well, one can just plow on and keep one’s head up that one is doing something about the jiggle in one’s wiggle

Spring is upon us, well up here at least…and an ole girl’s mind turns to… well,

ahemmmm…

one worked the numbers this mornin to find she’d be 164 by December if she continued to lose 5 pounds a month.  I think that’s a decent weight that one could indulge in….

ahemmmm….

yeah, it’s high time Annie got laid.

Crass.

Incredibly CRASS.

Shoot, it’s a shame I gotta wait until then but hell - there’s too much jiggle in this wiggle so we’ll leave it for a while.

Meanwhile, I’ve put bids in on two houses - one 245,000 (3bed/2bath) - blah house but a good deal.  It’s a short sale so we’ll have to wait a minute (3 weeks or so) to get the bank’s response.  The other one is one to my liking, cathedral ceiling when you first walk in - bright and spacious living/kitchen area.  The bedrooms are small (3 bedroom 2 bath) but it’s decent. Coincidentally it’s around the corner from the other joint (overpriced I might add) and there’s an extra hoop that I have to jump through (a telephone prequal) in order to have them look at my offer (306,000).

So we’ll see.

Honestly, the thrill is gone at this point so if something pans out - I’ll be shocked.  Hopefully pleasantly surprised by the home inspection and we can call it a day to venture on adventure #2 (mentoring a disabled young adult or adopting a child) while I’m checking out whether or not I’ve still got it in me to give birth to a sperm bank baby.

Exciting life of a 42 year old (well 42 in October).

How does one stand it?

Meanwhile, we’re plowing forward with our therapist (note taker), our Sam-E (natural mood enhancer), our exercise routine (up it to 4 times a week would be swell) and our better eating routine (try a little more lo carb eating to perk up that scale).

Work - yes doing more with a lot less.  We’ll hang in there with that as well.

Adding meditation to the routine in little bits…

one day at a time,

one day at a time.

So the salt snowball full of pork loin, rosemary and sage didn’t work.

WTF?!

I guess I should have realized that a fat ass 2 pound pork loin the size of my head wouldn’t cook as easily as the pictured piece that looks like my forearm (long and lean).  So I cracked that baked salt shell after the alloted 25 minutes and the m.f. was cold as ice.

So angrily I threw that fuck back in the oven with the cracked piece.

Now my house smells of rosemary and sage (two herbs I really don’t care for - but seemed right in this recipe).  

Yeah, that’s Simon and Garfunkel in the background.

Seemed fitting.

It’s been a busy weekend.

I saw a play called E14th Street on Friday night it’s about a man growing up in East Oakland (rough area) and it’s impact on his life.  It was very good.

Then on Saturday Shopaholic and I went to see Musiq Soulchild and Anthony Hamilton in concert.  I’ve never seen Anthony and I love his music so it was a genuine treat.  So so so so good.  He’s got such a beautiful voice!  Musiq is a real sweetheart too - full of joy those two.  Shorties those boys but I’d take either one in a heartbeat!

Sunday I saw the outside of one house (somebody stole the key) and happened to get in the other one because an agent showed up right when I was there with a wrong combo number for an alpha lock.  So it was a quiet neighborhood with a cute little house right across the street from a Pre-K/Elementary school.  3bedroom/2 bath but some buckling goin on in the hallway (hardwood floor under carpet).  The house needs work there is a dark wood panel room and lots of really hideous shag carpet.  Otherwise, it gets lots of light.  The house is pretty small and the backyard has a hideous deck (home made) that covers a nice little patch of grass.  So there would need to be some work done.  They are asking 192,000 for it but I have no doubt this is a teaser rate as everything is going for at least the late 200’s to early 300’s.    I wrote to my agent to ask him to inquire into the buckling - perhaps there’s some disclosure that rated the low price….

I have a few more that I’m inquiring about so we’ll see about seeing them maybe Monday if it all works out.

I saw Ms. Cats for an impromptu brunch after seeing the house and then got a call from Codependent who called around 7:30pm to ask me to come over to her little beach shack in Pacifica.  I packed up the then overcooked loin, some gourmet mustards, overcooked asparagus, mangoes & blueberries.  Took two Steaz organic teas to boost and got to see the ocean from her place.  We watched ‘He’s just not that into you’ - it’s kind of a demeaning movie.  Makes women seem like such idiots but geez how some of that shit seem familiar.  Of course had to pause the movie to talk about Jennifer Aniston and how unfair it is that she’s still not had her ‘happy ending’.  Codependent has lost so much weight you just marvel at how small she is now.  She can’t exercise because of her back injury so she’s lost it because of her eating (some willful healthy eating and forced healthful eating due to her IBS).  She still smokes like a chimney and burns her face - she had a tomato face yesterday from tanning - but she’s much happier now that her deadbeat man is in his own place but they are still somewhat attached.  He’s having surgery on his stab wound (got into a drunken fight) and he recovers over at her house.  She just can’t let go…. oh well. 

Can’t wait to lose this weight.  Weird how you get into a rhythm and then you just want it all OFF like NOW.

I rode my bike on Friday, went to the gym on Saturday and rode my bike to church on Sunday.  So I’ve been trying to keep up the exercise because it does affect the way one eats because it’s not a distant memory how hard it is to carry all this weight and move your body.

Can’t wait till next weekend

Did I mention that right after the first e-mail I suddenly started looking for jobs in Montana, Alaska and possibly NEW ZEALAND?

Let’s see what the shrink makes of that….