! trANNsformation BaBy !

So sounds like Oprah may have lost her diary.

*gulp*

I stopped keeping a diary when I was 13 when I found out that my dear old Dad was reading it for entertainment.  He would occasionally say very personal things from my diary to me that I didn’t recognize immediately because I was so naive.

Yet another day, yet another violation.

This blog comes as close to a diary that I can handle.  I would NEVER want anyone to read my personal thoughts and feelings.  Yet, I don’t mind putting them here… perhaps the anonymity is the most appealing part?

I’ve finally moved forward and starting cleaning my 500 sqft mess of a joint.  I’m feeling better about it each passing hour - I didn’t want to come home to a horrific mess again.  I’ve got Philly on Tuesday/Wednesday so I really didn’t want to deal with it like I did last week when I got back.

I decided to pass on the weekend’s Pride celebrations.  I felt that my apartment and my sanity needed my time more.  I went to a play on Friday night about an Asian man’s experience growing up gay in a very traditional part of California.  It had a few good parts, but I wanted to edit him down to a really great show. It made me again think of ways I could do something like that….

My Mother expressed her angst again on Friday night at being isolated in Korea and then yesterday I made the realtor take me over to see 4 homes.  Apparently that house I wasn’t too keen on - didn’t work out anyway (cash offer).  So I put in two more offers yesterday - one for a house I really liked and one for a house that was (in my humble opinion) overpriced.  So I guess we’ll see what happens….

Conflicted I am.  Wanting to run away to another place and start all over again - but also trying to see about settling down here.

I have not received the paperwork from ‘that woman’ for my licensure hours and I’m sure it’s been over two weeks.  She obviously picked it up from the post office because they’ll send it back if not picked up.  So she’s deliberately chose not to send it back.  So I will need to get my stuff together and resubmit things again with my receipt attached showing I tried my best to obtain the paperwork from her.  What a shady lady.  Obviously still horribly immersed in her craziness… oh well.  Let’s hope it doesn’t slow me down.

I’ll work on that once the smoke clears a bit.

So in the interim, I’ve gained .5 pounds from 2 weeks of on again off again lousy eating and absolutely NO exercise.  No worries, tomorrow I’m walking to the train station (2 miles), then train station to work (.5 miles) then work to physical therapy (.8 miles).  So that’ll be a nice little stretch for yours truly and a way to ease into the week.  I see they’ve got a gym at the Aloft hotel at Philly so I could use it - maybe just walk the treadmill for like 30 minutes or something just to ease my back after that lousy flight.

I’ve got to find a way to do this damn exercise.  Since I’ve been slacking I’ve been not doing well at all on my weight loss efforts.

Effort.

Gotta put in effort just like anything else - I guess.

Well tomorrow should be an exciting day…

TALENTED but terribly troubled.

Got to Be There - Jackson 5 was always my favorite.

So the blues were shook off today (OMG - what a SHIT weekend with those goddamn blues) by a somewhat arduous walk from my work to the physical therapy appointment.  My calves were straining but I plodded ahead and finally reached my destination in 20 minutes flat.  I was quite pleased.

*slightly sweaty*

but pleased nevertheless.

Shoulda seen my physical therapist Joyce beam with joy when she heard I walked to the appointment.  Joyce is the size of my no. 2 pencil folks - so you know her ass was smiling at my fat ass walking…

no but she’s swell so she was happy to see me moving about.

On the way back, I popped into a Walgreens and got some of those earth friendly bulbs (those funky looking ones) and I will say this - it’s like Ft. Lauderdale in my kitchen right now.  200W of pure white light.

Shit, I was thinking about wearing my shades and sunscreen in there.

It’s swell too.

Tomorrow I’ve got a quick stop in New Hampshire to see a co-worker’s kid at a group home and then fly back on Wednesday.  The following Tuesday/Wednesday I’m picking up one of my kids (caseload) from Philadelphia to bring back here to visit her former foster parents.  Then on July 6/7 I’m flying to Minneapolis Minnesota to drop a kid off (a co-worker’s caseload) to relatives.  Then July 29/30 - the Philly kid goes back.

Yeah, nothing like traveling during summer vacation when the airports are CRAMMED with cranky folks and you get all tired out from traveling.  But it’s part of this exciting job. *smirk*

Ok, enough for tonight - gotta hit the hay early - gotta be at the airport by 5:15am.

YIKES.

sweet dreams y’all

So last night my ex calls and starts saying, ‘So what are you buying me for Father’s Day?!’

‘When you knock me up that’s when you’ll get something pal.’

‘Ugghh’ he says.

During the course of what was a very ordinary phone call, I learn that he has indeed knocked up his Filipino girlfriend in the Phillipines.

Needless to say, I had some very very harsh words for him.

Afterwards I cried.

No, I don’t want my ex husband.

I want a family like EVERYONE else.

Meanwhile, my own Father was wished a Happy Father’s Day on Friday night by me and my brother on a conference call.

It was as artificial as the sweetner in the diet lipton I bought by accident.

Because we all know what a FANTASTIC Father he was to the both of us.

Guess I’ll have to text my ex that I’m sorry for being so cruel on the phone and tell him to refrain from calling me for a while.

Yep, I’m one bitter bitch right now.

Serves me right that I’m working today - going to pick up a teen from the airport and sit with her until her ‘foster kids’ camp at Berkeley starts at 4:30.  Never mind that her two aunts live here and are flying over with her today.  NO - let the social worker take 6 hours out of her Sunday to entertain the teen.

No weighing in right now.

Can you imagine that scene?!

Oh well.

Cherish your Fathers who refrained from beating you, molesting you and telling you how worthless you were because honestly - they deserve to be honored this Father’s Day.

Now you’ll have to excuse me.

I’m going to have a cup of tea.