! trANNsformation BaBy !

St. Simon Island was swell. 

We did a few days of cleaning out the kitchen (believe me - this was no task for the weak of heart) and really enjoyed each other’s company.  My buddy’s house is very delapidated. It was real country living - no stove, no dryer, ceiling in bedrooms coming down, stuff (multigenerational packrats) everywhere… but she’s got a sun porch that was wonderful.  

We sat there and talked.  Well she talked a lot - the poor gal has been basically isolated for the past 6 months and I was so happy to hear so much about her family history.  The island is beautiful and peaceful.  Folks walk and bike past her house - there’s a few old houses around that are so interesting.  It’s a piece of paradise.  We would walk to the pier from her house to sit in rocking chairs taking in the sea breeze.  It was lovely.  I didn’t think about work and enjoyed hanging out. I wish it was longer…

I came back and hung out with Wildchild on Friday - saw a house.  Put in an offer.  It’s got some major buckling in the hardwood floor in the master bedroom right next to the bathroom.  Let’s hope it’s not something major - guess if they take my offer I’ll pay the 500 for the inspection and find out.  I took Crisis couple over there to look at the outside today when we met up for lunch and we lucked out  - a realtor was showing it.  But the bad news was that it was a large Asian family and I’m dead honest when I tell you that sometimes they have all cash for these transactions.  So my little VA loan may go right down the tubes.  Oh well, guess the floor will be a mystery then - if it doesn’t work - it don’t work.

I’ll know next week.  

Called my Mother tonight and she was in a foul mood.  I got told that I haven’t done shit for her and when I told her about the house that she’s always asking me about (because my father wants to send her over sooner rather than later) - she was negative.  When I asked her why she says, ‘What you want money?’  

What a fabulous phone call.

A great way to end my vacation.

The Sam-E is ok, I don’t feel particularly down despite things that are going on but then again I’m not cheerful either so maybe this ain’t so bad.

I’m glad I have y’all around - wish I had a sun porch so we could all sit together feeling that breeze, sipping sweet tea and forgetting our troubles.

It’s almost time for my vacation!

Catching the cab at 6:00am to the train station to the airport - check in and voila on the plane.

Off the plane in Houston,

grab a bite,

back on the plane and land in Jacksonville to be picked up by my buddy Harriet!

Then it’s off to dinner and then to her house.

I cannot wait to get away from here.

I managed to get most of the stuff done except for mailing out that certified thing to the woman.  I’ll do that in Georgia, worse comes to worse?  Or perhaps I’ll just wait till I get back.

Gonna pack tonight.

I got a call from the PHD therapist chick and she says she thinks I need to be on meds for all of my issues right now.  I told her I’m Sam-E ‘ing it right now but would consider it if I don’t feel better in a few weeks.  I’ll see her on May 5th.

Hmmm, don’t know what to think about that.

Whatevs.

I need a break and I’m about to get one

In Savannah - tea, shrimp & grits, Paula Deen’s The Lady & Sons restaurant, Bonadventure cemetery

Finally.

I took a few this week.

I got something called Sam-E - it’s a natural mood enhancer and supposedly also helps out with the creaky joints.  I started taking it yesterday and so far - well nothing yet but at least I started with it - it can’t hurt at this point you know?

I also found a PHD chick in the insurance rolls for therapy - called her and left a message on Friday.  I think I’ll do therapy if it all works out.  I wouldn’t mind being less emotionally labile.  Not to mention managing my stress better.

I also didn’t pig out yesterday like I have been and that was nice.  I’m conscious of what I’m eating and while it’s no giant step - it’s a start.

I worked my ass off yesterday at the office and got a lot done.  I feel fine about leaving for the next two weeks.  I got a massage last night and it was very good but I felt incredibly nauseous afterwards.  So I went to bed after a quick bath - but I’m glad I did it because I really needed it.

The taxes are done!  Instead of cleaning the toilet on Friday night I was knee deep in paperwork.  But it’s over over over!!!

Now the less than great news:

I got my licensing stuff back and it requires me contacting a truly evil woman (she was fired from the hospital) from the past that supervised hours for me to get her to fill out one more piece of paper. If she doesn’t do it - I have to go through another 3.5 months of supervision.

Tomorrow I’m mailing it out to her office (certified mail) with a sweet note saying that I need this one signature - thanks for your help! - and hope for the best.

Either way, I’m gonna get this license.  I just hope she rises to the occasion and I don’t have to spend nearly 700.00 getting supervision that I’ve already done

I felt physically sick when I got that licensing letter but I calmed down and decided to handle it rationally instead of just tucking it away in a drawer and sulking.

It’s what any adult would do - but lately I haven’t felt like an adult.

I’ve been various shades of

blue

and missing

my 

blanky.

I flew home tonight because I scheduled a little dinner with my former boss who is now retired and one of my friends who I used to work with in her unit.  

It’s amazing what you can do in about 15 minutes because I was so fried when I woke up this morning that I didn’t bother to make my bed (I never do anyways), do the dishes in the sink, throw out the garbage or fluff up the couch.  

It got done in record time and they were late so it worked out perfectly!

It was swell, my boss was thoughtful enough to bring the wine for them to drink and I happily swilled my grapefruit soda  I picked up Thai on my way home tonight and it was good.  

My boss came back from a tour of Cairo, Alexandria and Luxor as well as Istanbul.  She didn’t have the pictures on CD to show but she really told some great great stories.  It sounded like a truly memorable trip!  We talked about the dire situation at work and she expressed her joy at not being caught up in the nightmare anymore.  

It was a really nice evening - sad it had to end by 9:50 but hell - we were all beat

Funny how your heart can swell up at odd moments and you find yourself smiling because you are genuinely happy.

It happens so rarely that I nearly forgot what that feels like -

but when it does

it sure makes

you want it to

happen over 

and 

over 

again

makes me tear up just thinking about it.