! trANNsformation BaBy !

I started out this fine morning with a call from one of my client’s grandmother - she’s AWOL again. I kindly reminded her that I was on vacation and to call this number etc.

I then proceeded to go to my doctor’s appointment - the one for my sleep issues. The Nurse Practioner came in:

‘So what brings you in today?’
Sleep problems, I’m waking up at least 3-8 times per night. I feel like I’ve never slept when I wake up and I’m having a hard time of it.
‘Oh, do you have anxiety?’
Yes, I’m anxious that I’m waking up so many times and that leads to me having a harder day the next day because I haven’t gotten adequate sleep.
‘Hmmm, do you have a history of depression?’
Thinking - FUCK YOU.
Answer: Nope (fuck off bitch - this has NOTHING to do with depression)
‘Ok, sounds like you have a great deal of anxiety. You may be depressed. So I’ll prescribe you some Lexapro to take during the day and temazepam at night.’
I’m not depressed - I’d like a sleep apnea evaluation. I’ll try the temazepam for now - thanks.
‘Oh, do you exercise? Because exercise can really help with sleep.’

OH SNAP!

Byatttcchhh - it was a matter of minutes before the size of my ass factored in here somewhere.

Believe me, the disappointment was palpable on BOTH sides.

WTF?!

Lexapro is some heavy shit. Believe me, I’ve been on it - for depression. It took me about a month to wean off that shit and I was SICK for a good 2 weeks. I did it myself because goodness knows, it really pushed that MUTE button down so hard that I felt like a walking zombie.

To think that someone can just randomly prescribe that shit without knowing more about what’s going on with you?

Yep, really great health care system we have - can’t live with it - ABSOLUTELY will get fucked without it.

So I walked out of there, to my car and then off to the pharmacy to pick up my sleep meds.

I’ll give it a week before I call to find out if she made that referral to the sleep clinic. Oh yeah, won’t be making another appointment with her. That’s for sure.

So updates on my buddies:
LA still seein that Chinese rich dude (31) that she met at the airport - apparently he’s very gung ho on having her come over to his house. Now she’s saying she wants to go over there and ‘get it over with’. Meanwhile, her boyfriend of 3 years told her ‘I don’t know’ when asked when they were going to get married - ‘I’ll make that decision - I don’t like to be pressured.’ So she’s been upset about it but guess who’s coming to Chinese New Year dinner tonight with the parents? She told me tonight that she’s gonna fuck the other dude and take a definite break from Mr. Noncommit. Meanwhile, I just can’t get over the ‘I don’t know’. Goodness knows, I’ve been there and that’s not a cool place to be - but fucking some dude who is pressuring you for a piece of ass is also NOT COOL. But hey, this is not my life. It’s hers.

Shopaholic is still dragging that carcass of a boyfriend around into next month. But fortunately for me, I don’t have to listen to how much he sucks everyday.

Gracious - women huh?

Believe me, I’m a dumb ass about men more than the next bitch but geez - seems like being alone is absolutely NOT something these gals can handle.

Shit, I’ve been alone so long that being with someone is tricky. Yet, I bend over backwards to try to make that happen you know?

So tomorrow I’ve got physical therapy. Yet ANOTHER waste of time. But I’ve got to do it - it’s a workman’s comp thing so I need to go in there and see what they’ve got that might help. For some reason, it’s more painful this time around. I’m taking advil….

Calories today were met.

Still reluctant on the damn exercise part. I’m gonna dig up my exercise video tonight and maybe that will motivate me for tomorrow.

Shit I’ve got to lose about 55 pounds to be considered ‘normal’ - that’s about 145 pds.

Why does this seem like such a daunting number?

That’s because I have to break it up into losing 5 pounds first - then another 5 etc etc etc.

That way it seems more manageable.

Geez.

So brutal realization that a 2 bedroom is all I can afford (house wise) in the good school district. So I think I’ll just wait till the RIGHT 2 bedroom comes along. I’ll keep my eyes peeled and I’m going to turn down the the one I bid for which may come up soon.

Sacrifice sucks - but you gotta start somewhere…. I want to find a decent sized lot so I can upgrade once things get better in the economy. That also means not going to another job for at least another 3 years or so.

This may be the worst possible thought.

Ok, that’s enough.

Let’s focus on the here and now.

Let’s go for a total of 5 pounds loss in a little bit - shall we?  

The last January weigh in is this Friday….

geez.