! trANNsformation BaBy !

self control sucks.

But I made it - did a bit of a calorie adjustment - 1200 and it worked.

I bought those progresso light soups - you know the ones that got villainized because of the MSG…

Well I had two of the vegetable noodle ones and it was a grand total of 240. Pretty good for 32 oz of filling soup. I had to add a little protein to make it work.

Drinking more fluid really helped I think, not to mention charting all my food so I would know exactly where I was at.

It wasn’t easy but it got done and I feel instantly better about my situation.

Small steps…

Now if I could just break down and start cooking again - I bet it would help. Oh well.

Let’s not get crazy.

I managed to pick up quite a lot today and do laundry so that made me feel better. I’ve just got a few last minute touches like vacuuming and finishing up the kitchen/bathroom - that’ll get my place ready for the New Year. I just want it to be somewhat orderly in here and not start out with a goddamn mess which I had today!

I’m only working 1 day next week so that thrills me to no end.

I sent my other agent an e-mail with about 8 houses to see and he wrote back asking me when - so I’ll write him back about Monday.

Meanwhile, I plan to tow the line till I get a week of decent eating and then celebrate by doing something nice for myself like - hell I don’t know. I’ll think of something but it won’t have anything to do with eating. Kinda want to break that cycle of celebrating with food…. I’m gonna try to get a massage before the New Year - hopefully this one will be way better than the last.

Thinkin about maybe starting up the meditation thing again. 10 minutes at a time….a few times a week to start out. Hope it’ll help the stress reduction.

Big plans for tomorrow. Gonna go buy some water, some fruit and hopefully get those calendars I want from Barnes & Noble and finish up this joint.

A good first day.

small steps.