! trANNsformation BaBy !

It’s 11:49pm and I have to be up at 4:15 in order to make it on that goddamn flight to Denver tomorrow.

Cranky cranky cranky.

I’ve been home from work for an hour now - I left at 6:30am this morning.

Someone was talking to me about the economy while I was typing out my 2nd court report of the day while fielding phone call after phone call after phone call. I told her to come back later, but she didn’t get it and after a few minutes I felt like I was on one of those twirly tea cup things at a county fair only the goddamn thing was spinning into the stratosphere with me puking up all over myself while an unintelligible voice droned in the background.

‘Yep’, I told her - ‘it’s horrible. What can I say? Fucking ridiculous’, as I was editing the same sentence in my court report for the 15th time. She wasn’t phased by my complete lack of eye contact and responsiveness to her diatribe. She sat in an empty chair and went on to talk about the war, famine, nuclear weapons, empty food banks, her roof leak, her daughter’s penchant for yellow tights with EVERYTHING, her husband’s allergies to shellfish/peanuts/citrus/cats/strawberries/soy sauce, her tofu recipes, her bout with breast cancer, her incontinent dog, her beloved Olive Garden….

I’ve decided I’m going to get up at 2am and drive over to her house to kill her,
her allergy ridden husband
and her fucking yellow legging wearing daughter.

I’ll spare the goddamn incontinent dog.