! trANNsformation BaBy !

Got on the scale today and I gained 2 pounds.

Hmmmm.

What can I say about this?

Since I’m the only one who deposits edibles in that particular orifice - there seems to be no one else to blame.

Shucks.

Well, onto less pressing matters.

Work was alright yesterday, Harriet didn’t show so I called her and she had a friend coming in so she switched her shift. I was bummed. Of course that rotten nurse that I haven’t seen in at least 6 months (because she’s such a bitch) asked me if I had gotten married yet. ‘No, not yet,’ I replied and then quickly asked, ‘So how is your son? Did he find a good community college to go to yet?’ I figure one zinger deserves another and then I didn’t hear a goddamn thing about anything else the rest of the day. Yep, you serve it up - you might as well be willing to take it honey. She hugged me goodbye and asked me to work more hours at the end of the day. She’s a real weirdo that one. Now with Harriet gone, I guess I’ll have no choice but to be paired up with her on the weekends again. I’ve been so good to avoid it for so long. Oh well - all good things sometimes come to an end.

Yesterday I met with the 52 year old Architect. I was working over in that area and he coincidentally called me right before I got off work. I set up a meeting and he attended. It was nice. I felt at ease, talked quite a bit and he told me that I was the first person he’s sung to (he’s been practicing his singing) - ‘I’m being quite bold’, he said. It was nice, I actually was attracted to him and it sounds like he’s a good guy. He grew up in NYC then moved to Maine and two years ago moved to California. His Mother and Brother are over on the east coast. He’s looking to partner up (he was married from 20-28 years old) and feels life would be better if he were with someone special. We chatted for a good 2 hours walking along the water. It was swell and he walked me to my car. We hugged goodbye and I told him to call me.

For once it wasn’t a goddamn nightmare. On the way home, I hit bad traffic and actually wondered if he would call me. So that’s a good sign. If he doesn’t - well no worries. At this point, I can’t play the ‘why didn’t he’ game. I accept it and move on. That e-ugly subscription ends on October 12 and then it’s a wrap.

I sent over a few houses to my agent and we’ll go see them this upcoming Friday.

Yawn.

I woke up this morning at 9am and then ate breakfast. I promptly fell back to sleep and woke up at 1:45pm. That’s fine with me, it rarely happens and I’ve got to rest up for another round trip to Denver tomorrow.

Oh well….

Let’s guess whether I’ll pick up around here or not - it’s becoming a bigger and bigger mess

A cup of tea perhaps to motivate me?

You too can pee in 4 different states in a day!

Yes, traveling can be fun.

Oh peanuts, pretzels and cheese nips snacks.

Oh pepsi, coke, ginger ale, tomato juice, monster energy drinks and heineken beer are only $4.00

Plane, train, automobile.

do it all.

Meet new people, see new things!

See Annie walk,

See Annie run to the air train so she doesn’t miss the flight,

See Annie line up with the other weary losers behind the appropriate numbered pillar at the Southwest Gate,

See Annie furtively buy a large cup of hot chocolate, ‘Sure, Whip away - in fact forget it and drop the whole can in the fucking cup!’

See Annie chewing her dry blueberry muffin while watching what appears to be every skinny woman in the United States catwalk to their gates with their matching luggage sets.

See Annie waving to a little girl who is riding the parallel walk faster machine for the 5th time,

See Annie pondering whether lunch will be as interesting,

See Annie watching the TV news show while quietly thanking her lucky stars that the alarm DIDN’T go off at 2am this morning…..

Let’s hope Annie’s dye job (that she did immediately upon getting home after startling herself by looking up and catching her reflection in Salt Lake City ) doesn’t leave her looking like Eddie Munster.

Now Annie will take two pills (melatonin) and please refrain from calling her in the morning.

It’s 11:49pm and I have to be up at 4:15 in order to make it on that goddamn flight to Denver tomorrow.

Cranky cranky cranky.

I’ve been home from work for an hour now - I left at 6:30am this morning.

Someone was talking to me about the economy while I was typing out my 2nd court report of the day while fielding phone call after phone call after phone call. I told her to come back later, but she didn’t get it and after a few minutes I felt like I was on one of those twirly tea cup things at a county fair only the goddamn thing was spinning into the stratosphere with me puking up all over myself while an unintelligible voice droned in the background.

‘Yep’, I told her - ‘it’s horrible. What can I say? Fucking ridiculous’, as I was editing the same sentence in my court report for the 15th time. She wasn’t phased by my complete lack of eye contact and responsiveness to her diatribe. She sat in an empty chair and went on to talk about the war, famine, nuclear weapons, empty food banks, her roof leak, her daughter’s penchant for yellow tights with EVERYTHING, her husband’s allergies to shellfish/peanuts/citrus/cats/strawberries/soy sauce, her tofu recipes, her bout with breast cancer, her incontinent dog, her beloved Olive Garden….

I’ve decided I’m going to get up at 2am and drive over to her house to kill her,
her allergy ridden husband
and her fucking yellow legging wearing daughter.

I’ll spare the goddamn incontinent dog.

No diet today.

I actually supplemented my yogurt today with a slimshit shake.

Oh well.

Tomorrow is another day right?

Miserable at the job right now and it’s a brutal week.

I’m working this Saturday so only one day off this week ;(

Not a happy camper.

Oh well, we can’t have fun days every day right? I mean I had a ‘lovely’ adventure this past weekend. How does one follow that?

Apparently with a fucking MISERABLE week…..