Another day, another 50 cents right?
It’s 7:37pm and I’m nervous. I have to be in bed at 8:00pm and SLEEPING as tomorrow is my rowing thing. Let me say that it’s light outside right now despite the venetians being drawn.
Hmmmm.
Melatonin - Check
Lavender spray - Check
Ms. Crisis call averted adeptly by calling first and telling hubby that I’m going to bed - I’ll call back tomorrow. -CHECK
Quick bath - CHECK
Nite Nite.
I made it this morning.
Let’s be honest, I really didn’t sleep last night. I managed to make it into the bed at 9:00pm and then proceeded to toss and turn for the next 3 1/2 hours when I looked at my clock to see that it was 12:30am. I had a ridiculous annoying dream and woke up quickly at 4:00am - I felt like SHIT. I jumped up and got my mojo on. Driving to the boathouse in the dark really made me wonder what the fuck I was thinking. But I kept it moving….
At the boathouse, it was a mostly female group with a few dudes. The coach is way way too verbose and so the actual time spent in the water is very limited. But today, as I sat in that boat and watched the sun peak around the clouds while leaving a liquid gold steak in the calm water - I smiled. The sky lit up pink before turning into a bright blue. It was beautiful. The rowing felt nice and steady. I enjoyed it. Suddenly it was worth getting up at 4:00am for….it was good.
I raced right to work and basically collapsed at 5pm. I managed to visit my boy in the psych ward - we ate doritos together and shared a twix bar. Not my shining moment, but it seemed to ease both of our spirits as we sat and munched while talking about the movie ‘CARS’.
I took off at 6:00pm with Shopaholic who was lamenting about her boyfriend being on her last nerve and how she needed to end it but just didn’t know how long she would keep it going because she might be afraid to be alone. ‘But I’m 34 next month and I’m alone’ she wailed. I popped a marshmallow in my mouth and thought - man - I’m so glad I don’t feel that way. I’m 41 this year and the stress of the imaginary deadline of getting a man has gone. I totally feel at peace about it right now. Mind you sometimes I long for some decent company - but hell - I am grateful that I don’t have some albatross around my neck for the sake of companionship. You live, you learn. She’ll have to find her own way out of it. I just smile sympathetically and marvel at how good we are at giving each other advice but NEVER take our own common sense to heart.
Oh well. Not my problem which is AWESOME.
I’m gonna do my best to stay up till 9pm. Man. Even though my food was not great today, I feel pretty alright.
I am grateful for all of you EVERY day - for you make this place a sweeter joint 
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxooooooooooooooooxxxxxxxxxoooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Work was really busy - but it wasn’t bad so that’s good right?
Eating was not bad too - I did have a nonfat chai latte (12 oz) 150 calories, high fiber cereal(Kellogs all bran strawberry medley 170) with almond milk (90) and blueberries (80) for breakfast, oikos non fat vanilla greek yogurt (110), a small square of dark chocolate (25), fish (200 - 6 oz I think) and trader joes lentil biryani rice (210), my chicken stew 10 ounces? -(greens/onions/carrots/celery/garlic/organic chicken broth/chicken tenders) - shit 400? 1/2 cup raw pineapple (227 - damn - who knew it would be that much?) - 1662 ok - i would have preferred 1500 but hell - that damn chai latte fucked me up! 
Oh well, I know better now….. gotta cut something out somewhere else…..
It’s 7:28 and I got home at a decent hour tonight 6:30 because I’m going to the row thing tomorrow at 5am. I’ll be getting up at 4am (fuck - it was hard getting up at 6:45am after i went to bed at 11pm last night) to get to that damn thing. Oh well - we’ll try it out for size. I hope we get to row for a decent amount of time So I’ll be under the covers by 8:00pm. Shit, let’s hope I’m going to fall asleep at 8:00pm 
Wish my weight would budge - guess this will help it in the end.
Co-Dependent is looking at a beach house today to rent with her pup - appears that loverboy brought home a 6 pack last night. Not cool when you’re supposed to be quitting the bottle. I doubt she’ll move out but I think there’s nothing wrong with looking around.
Hope the dude rents it to her for cheap.
fingers crossed…..
but I won’t hold my breath.
I’ve lost quite a few brain cells that way….
From my beloved BBC
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7524944.stm
Obviously not true because my thin friends are still THIN and I’m still the FAT ass.
Whatever.
