! trANNsformation BaBy !

So ‘Bloggers’ retirement party at a bar/restaurant was nice. I managed to hug and kiss her - say nice things about her which were actually true and wish her the best. I stopped and got her a 35.00 gift certificate to Ross -she loves the store and a cute Mickey Mouse card. The food at that dive bar was not too good but everyone was drinking and they were having fun. Apparently the Agency we work for may keep her on for 12 hours a week so she’ll continue to get her retirement and stay under the 1300.00 per month earning limit for benefits. So maybe she’s not really going anywhere after all….
But she did hug me and kiss me a few times - she said, ‘I’m really glad you came Annie’ - I told her it was good to see her too. But I have no intention of ever being a close friend of hers again - she ruined that when her desire to ruin another couples relationship was stronger than our friendship.

Ah, we are so fragile….

I also met up with a friend today, yes - formerly YMCA now known as Researcher (otherwise known as the GREAT LAY) - he got a job as a research associate for UCSF. He wants to try for a long term relationship but honestly - I don’t think it’ll work out that way. I think it’s like a lust thing and nothing more. He’s lonely and looking for good companionship. We’ll spend some time together but my options are open. Guess my fuck blanket and that little bottle of lube that I bought when we were going out that never got opened will actually get put to some use - shit that reminds me - I need to get a mattress cover that’s waterproof because that fucker sweats in his sleep. Yeah, real romantic stuff here…. but a girl needs to be prepared. Honestly, I don’t know how long this will last. But I found it riveting when Latina told me she hopped up on her ‘friend’ and rode him till orgasm. Now I’ve never had an orgasm with a man and maybe because I’ve always felt so goddamn self conscious. This dude made me feel very free with myself and perhaps in a little time - I too can experience this for myself. Wouldn’t that be awesome?

So no one bothered to show up to Yoga this morning - well like the TEACHER. So that really fucking sucked. I mean there were six of us standing outside of the studio at 5:45am and wondering - WTF?! See, that’s what happens when you don’t have another instructor at 6am. C’mon guys - WTF? Oh well, I saw Codependent - we’re gonna try hiking in the morning - she hates to walk so we’ll see how productive this will be - over in her mom’s neighborhood. She said we might try ocean kayaking afterwards - that would be fun. Apparently, she’s been staying in the city instead of at her folks place because dude has been sober and he’s working as a food sampler this weekend. Last weekend he worked for one day and made 100.00 - needless to say she was THRILLED since that piece of shit never has a job. She looked at me guiltily and said, ‘He’s doing good so I want to be supportive.’ I just smiled and said nothing. Fuck, it’s not my burden and after a while - you realize that it’s really none of your goddamn business. You can just give advice if someone asks for it.

I called Crisis couple tonight and decided to get that over with after the retirement party. She’s hanging in there and gave me the latest stew of tragedy. At the end, she asked about me and I told her the latest. She was adamant about what a loser YMCA was and how he’s ‘an albatross around your neck Annie - a total loser - I’d rather you didn’t spend any time with him.’ Ok, Crisis - now tell me how you really feel. Oh well. I guess we all have an opinion and honestly - I know it’s not a long term thing.

Nuf said.

Meanwhile, I heard that Married - well she should be called separated - they are not even filing for divorce yet - is inviting that fucking no job, living with his mama, dope selling dude with a daughter to a camping trip with her friends and her boys. Now it wasn’t but a few weeks ago when her 5 year old was crying - now she’s going to introduce him to her Male friend. Fucking tacky bitch. I saw them in action last time and I’m sure he’s gonna be all over her in front of the kids. So sad. I honestly don’t even want to speak to her anymore. Sometimes, you need to just leave folks alone and let them sit in their own shit.

I guess you can apply that to me as well. But hey - it’s not like I’m marrying the dude. I’m just spending some time and having some fun.

Damn, I’ve said it enough right?

I stopped into a hair salon that one of the girls at work recommended and asked them about a straight perm for me. The dude immediately said, NO not right now - your hair needs to be longer. It’s too short and your face will look TOO BIG. Yep, we Asians can be blunt as fuck. In other words - your face is big bitch and that flat hairdo will make you look even bigger. I thanked him and walked out. Oh well. I guess I’ll try using the flat iron for longer even though I heard that it’s terrible for your hair? Oh well.

If I were thinner he may not have jumped to that…..

Ok, no beating yourself up.

Did I tell you I called into the Clairvoyant on Sirius radio after yoga one morning and was SHOCKED to get through - did I also tell you that she said - 2 1/2 years when I said - marriage’. (you could only say one thing - no elaborate questions or elaborate answers - it was called RAPiD FIRE) I was CRUSHED. But then, what the fuck does anyone know about that shit?

Next time, I’m gonna say ‘KIDS’.