! trANNsformation BaBy !

The morning went well. I was rid of Granny by noon (feigning sickness again) and drove out the shrine. Quite the scene out there in the middle of the green Alabama countryside - that huge church, 18th century replica mini castle and fine brick piazza. It’s amazing how much money the Catholic Church possesses and all the donations that went into building that monument to God on the hillside. It was strange to see the religious B&B’s along the way. I mean what happens in a religious B&B? I imagine the breakfast being Holy Ghost Toast, Eggs Pope John Paul Benedict, O Holy Name Oats… each wall plastered with a beloved Saint. Virgin Mary centerpiece at the table with all heads bowed in prayer before mealtime.

Yep, goin’ straight to hell folks.

Oh well, you can take the Catholic out of the church but sometimes you can’t take the Catholic out of the Annie. Now mind you I was brought up with two religions - Buddhism (Korean - my grandparents took me to temple every month) and Catholic (my father was Roman Catholic and GUILT was deeply ingrained within us). I was AGNOSTIC for about 3 years, atheist for a few more, anarchist for a few months and just plain assanine the entire the time. At some point I drifted back to mild buddhism and now I float around not truly being faithful to any religion. It’s like cooking - take a little bit of this and a dash of that…. it works for me.

After all, I AM a little bit of this and a dash of that myself.

Every now and then I enter the Catholic church - sometimes for pious reasons (my mother not being well, my brother jobless, my father a cold hearted jerk - oops did I say that?) and sometimes for selfish reasons (I like the art in a church, the stillness, the pews, the up down, up down, pray, kneel etc of the catholic mass rhythm or else I’ve been pretty goddamn horrible and figure a little face time might make my life on earth a bit easier?). So today I went for Moms. She would have liked this joint. An altar brandished in the most (gosh - I want to say tacky - but that might get me…. no no ) gold adorned curvy pieces and an absolutely beautiful statue of Queen Virgin Mary. It was interesting that Jesus was on the cross but not directly in front of the pews - rather he adorned a side wall. Must be because this particular shrine was founded by a nun?! Maybe not - maybe some deep Catholic secret only known to those who leave the secular life? Or perhaps there was no room after you put up so much ornate gold curly q’s stuff all over the front? OH GOODNESS - YOU DID NOT SAY THAT ANNNIIIEEEE!

BTW -is anyone joining me in the flames of eternal damnation? We should get a mocha frapaccino or something down there….

Ah hell, who am I kidding? I also believe that when you die you go on a special kind of carnival ride in which you pay the nickel (you have two nickels - one on each eye - you pay the entry fee with one and buy yourself a fizzy ice cold grape pop with the other) and sit in the plush red velvet seat as the curtain is drawn and your rickety trolley heads through heavy dark purple curtains into the swirling dark clouds of time itself. Now you can jump out whenever you want to live life in the prehistoric age, victorian, etc etc etc. You can look up old friends, old enemies, you can watch your parents grow up if you want. You can fast forward through the ugly parts. My favorite is being there when you’re an infant and being present as you grow up. To touch your own hair and kiss those chubby baby feet. You can jump into anyone’s life to see how it was like Anais Nin? Virginia Woolf? Charlie Chaplain? Anybody you want - you could actually be there smelling, hearing, tasting - etc! That’s my idea of life after death - then you can go willy wonka yourself out - complete with Gene Wilder and the oompa loompas - or decide to come back as a roach in NYC or Paris Hilton? It’s all up to you.

Sky is the limit.

Now back to reality. Ah the South; I thought I would see some horrible shit - but luckily I’ve driven down a few country roads to see the races mingling under the hood of that pick up in the front yard with both sets of kids running through the grass. Grandparents sittin on the front porch watchin kids play in the yard. Middle to lower class folks who could live side by side in decent sized homes with yards. I didn’t get to see the gritty, broken glass, debris and depressed folk sitting in front of the dilapidated housing projects that I’ve become so accustomed to where I’m from. I got to see strong African American schools and youth. I got to see pride in the faces of children and not sadness. No doubt the South has a lot of problems and I’m sure that in some areas it’s quite terrible. But I’ve been fortunate enough to see strong families and some pretty responsible youth. Who knows maybe it’s been an unusually good few days here in the South. But the difference is quite remarkable. A strong sense of community - that’s what I see and it’s a good thing.

The green open spaces have definitely caught my attention. I’ve never seen so many different hues of foliage. It amazed me how the blue sky melded in with the emerald green of the tops of those trees. It gives me a little hope for that Utopia of all races living together in harmony. That warms my heart. I want to take a few weeks to really check out the South. Take a road trip through all the Southern States and really take a look at life in another part of the world, really. I feel like I got checked on this trip of my ’snooty’ sense of where I live vs what’s out in the world. Hate is everywhere, it’s more apparent in some areas than others. I’m not sayin’ this is a perfect place by any means, but it doesn’t appear to be that utter cesspool of ignorance that I braced myself for.

Well, I had my last BBQ meal - yeah yeah I know - there’s hair growing on my chest and I’m walking a bit funny because of my hooves but honestly that fried green tomatoes stuff can’t put me off meat - with the right sauce I’m sure any asshole man would probably taste.. AHEM. I’m a goddamn carnivore. too bad the ice box pie was such a bust. yuck.

I bought 100.00 worth of salvation at the shrine for momma so she should really like that…. gotta mail that out once I get home.

Fuck.

Where is that STIMULUS check when you need it?

Hey buddy - can you spare a dime?