later this evening…
So Y called me and wanted to come over. I told him that we needed a break from each other and he agreed. Poor thing went on to tell me later that he got into a fight with his baby mama and had to leave her house today. I told him that I had already surmised that he was still in love with her. I let him know it was evident from the very beginning. He paused and didn’t deny it as he had done in the past. He apologized for it. ‘Time’, he said, ‘only time is going to see this through. I need to move on with my life.’ He talked about how he wanted a life with her and his daughter. Apparently they have been on the outs for a year. She has a boyfriend who lives in New York and he continues to try to get back with her. ‘We were a family, but she just doesn’t want me anymore. I’m trying to move on but I guess I’m not succeeding.’ He acknowledged that he could potentially hurt someone because he is still in love with her. He said, ‘I guess I really shouldn’t even be trying to get into any relationships. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I should stop trying to date.’ He talked more about the issues and I could understand why she may have not been into it. It was complicated and yet simple at the same time. They’re both good people and they’ve been through a lot.
It was a good talk. He sounded frustrated at the end - but he came to the insights on his own. He said that he wished that one of the relationships with his children’s mother would have worked out. I guess he’s growing up and realizes the importance of family. He’s missing out on it and it’s painful for him. Then he begged off the phone sounding completely defeated. I guess it was a rough day for him, having his ex call him a loser (he also realizes that he hasn’t accomplished as much as he should have by this age - he called his Mother because she told him that his Mother was disappointed in his lack of accomplishments) and then your friends with benefits confirms that you need to get your shit straight.
He said he wanted to go to sleep.
It makes me sad when love is unrequited. He deserves to be happy and so does she - sometimes people realize how good someone is too late. Sometimes you can’t get it back but you can pick yourself off the floor, move forward with your life and be loved by someone extraordinary.
I believe that.
It’s hope and what would we do without it?
Posted by anngirl on February 24th, 2008 under General| M | T | W | T | F | S | S |
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February 24th, 2008 at 9:30 am
That’s really sad. I’ve been in his shoes, and it feels like the worst thing ever, but usually there is something else out there. I hope he finds it one day.
February 24th, 2008 at 8:28 pm
Ann, thank you for your comment on my post, Sometimes the lightbulb comes on. I laughed my butt off! Out loud! You are so freaking funny and honest! Love you! And who in the hell only takes one cup out of the ocean anyway!?
February 24th, 2008 at 8:34 pm
Unrequited love - it’t as old as Shakespeare (ok maybe older - LOL) and leaves those who are objected to it in a mess on the floor. I hate when children are involved in relationships that don’t work out. They never seem to win and they are the ones who should. Unrequited love does seem to retard your growth and I don’t know why. God knows I have had my growth retarded by it.
You did a wonderful job of letting him go softly - you listened to him and let him figure things out on his own. I hope he does. Makes me sad he wants to go to sleep. I always sleep when I hate life.
On to bigger and better things now, Miss Ann? More adventures for sure. It’s almost Spring and the singles will be waking up to have fun! Have a beautiful day!