! trANNsformation BaBy !

Damn.

Can’t go to bed yet. It’s only 6pm. Yeah, it’s been that kinda day. I’ve eaten massive amounts of whole wheat pasta and hot chocolate (2 cups) w/whipped cream.

I am officially bummed out. Yep, that grey gloom has settled around my head and even a gusty exhale doesn’t seem to shake it. Oh well. Guess I’ll accept it and know that tomorrow I’ll be so preoccupied with travel that I won’t notice it so much.

I haven’t packed yet, but did manage to do laundry and throw out the garbage. Don’t want to have dirty laundry around for the New Year

Seems that old LA is conversing and going out to dinner with Samurai. Now frankly, I wouldn’t indulge in such shit as it just stirs him up to thinking he might stand a chance - but hey - it’s her karma not mine. I told her that she should leave him alone, but I guess with her ‘boyfriend’ gone she’s willing to go out with him. Today he asked her about New Years Eve. I told her she better forget it - or else BAD karma. I don’t imagine her ‘boyfriend’ would appreciate that she’s still talking to and going out with the guy she threatened to leave him for.

Life, infinitely interesting.

Well, I guess I’ll go now and try to pack up stuff. I think I might take a bath as well.

Thank goodness there’s no cupcakes, cheesecake, cookies or ice cream around here.

Ok, I’m going to perk up for a second and wish everyone a Happy New Year!

Thank you everyone for your love this year!

I raise my glass of bubbly raspberry juice to all of us getting what we want next year! Health, Love, Happiness, Creativity, Stability, Financial advancement, Career advancement, Relaxation, Peace, and Countless moments of pure joy, rapture and delight!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxo See you all next year

I’m ready for NY.

I went to the store and bought up a few turtlenecks, slacks, ear muffs and a pair of gloves. I’ve got a good coat, a few hats and some thermal underwear that I bought for the Peru trip. I should be alright. Got a decent pair of plastic boots to wear too as well as a good scarf.So today I booked us tickets to Apollo Theater’s Amateur night and we’ll eat at a Harlem staple: Sylvia’s Restaurant - soul food.   There’s a pizza that I want to try in Brooklyn - but the wait is supposed to be quite horrible and in the cold - I doubt we’d be able to do it ;).    

I made reservations at another nice restaurant for New Years Eve - Park Avenue Winter.   It looks good - got voted as one of the 10 new restaurants for NYC.   Found another joint that doesn’t take reservations but is a really cool restaurant that we’ll try to get into :).

So I’ve been productive - I guess.  

We’ve got something scheduled basically for every night. Chris Rock & nice dinner for NYE, Jazz on New Years Day, Apollo & dinner the next day, Daniel’s restaurant dinner for the last day. I’ve been lookin up places and honestly - I’m gonna stop. You can want to eat everywhere

Arrgh - I am tired as hell. Despite all of this busy work, I’ve been literally blowing away feelings of sadness (forcing ‘bad air’ out of my body when I feel it comin’ on… can’t let it get a firm grip on me. * love that zoloft pill or pebble or grain of rice - whatever that fucking thing is

Obviously the marketing has worked on this bitch.

Weird, LA says it’s because we haven’t had a good year. I don’t think so - my year was alright. It’s situational

But I’m working on it. No time for that crap to slow me down!

We’re all lookin forward to the New Year…

Some of us are a little more excited about it. That’s all….

Can you say SHIT breakfast? I mean the company was real nice - but damn - my joint was totally closed so we hit up a chain restaurant that would take a reservation for 10 of us. The coffee was good and the OJ was wonderful. That about sums it up! But it was good to sit and listen to all the chatter. So work related it wasn’t even funny….

I spent the next 4 hours packing up 4 years worth of crap (7 small boxes) - I threw out all of the manuals, pamphlets, and training guides except for one binder on court reports. Otherwise I haven’t looked at any of that shit for years… It was so refreshing. My cubicle never looked better and yet - so bare. The other 5 boxes contained all of my lovely wall shit, tons of photographs, cds, tea stuff & cds! When it was over, Shopaholic showed up and whisked me away to the new office. We hauled my most immediate boxes (3) to her cubicle as the county moving system is like 3 weeks out. So that way on January 7th I have my stuff available to me. We went upstairs to look at my space again - literally tiny with 4 people crammed into it. It does not make me happy. That is for sure - but I left my boss a voicemail asking for a smaller computer desk.

Went back to the office and put the final touches on my cubicle - cleaning off the desk and computer desk. Hugged the security folks and janitorial folks that have been with me these late nights for the past 4 years. It was weird. On the drive home, I actually teared up. Here I was leaving the ‘hood for a desk job. No more knockin’ on doors, *anxiously peering up and down the streets looking for you know who*, going to the hospitals for crack babies or injured children, taking children from their impaired parents, asking invasive questions, taking on suffering, most importantly - hopefully - no more waking up at 3am replaying traumas in my head. As I drove out of the neighborhood - I felt solemn and slightly distressed.

A door closes and another one opens up.

I made this change because I wanted to change my life for the better.

It’s always hard to say goodbye- but sometimes it’s so necessary.

Wow what a long day.

I managed to close out the rest of my files today and tomorrow I pack my stuff all day! My co-workers are taking me to breakfast in the morning which is wonderful! I prefer breakfast!

So I start my new job Jan 7 - I’m leaving for NYC on 12/30/07 until 1/4/07 with Shopaholic and I’m lookin’ forward to it! Yeah!

I’ve been thinkin’ positive (mind you I’ve been checkin my phone as well - shit - sometimes it’s hard all day and feeling much better about everything.

Can’t wait till tomorrow Breakfast will be GRAND!